Posted on 05/03/2005 8:23:05 PM PDT by Mo1
FOFL.... True that !
Bad Dog Discomfort
A woman goes to her boyfriend's parents' house for dinner. This is to be her first time meeting the family and she is very nervous. They all sit down and begin eating a fine meal. The woman is beginning to feel a little discomfort in her tummy, thanks to her nervousness and the broccoli and cheese casserole.
The gas pains are almost making her eyes water. She is afraid to excuse herself to go to the restroom, for fear that if she moves, a gigantic fart will escape while she is walking across the room. Left with no other choice, she decides to relieve herself a bit and lets out a dainty fart.
It wasn't loud, but everyone at the table heard the poof. Before she even had a chance to be embarrassed, her boyfriend's father looked over at the dog that had been snoozing at the woman's feet and said in a rather stern voice, "Skippy!".
The woman thought, "This is great!" and a big smile came across her face.
A couple of minutes later, she was beginning to feel the pain again. This time, she didn't even hesitate. She let a much louder and longer fart rip.
The father again looked and the dog and yelled, "Damn it, Skippy!"
Once again the woman smiled and thought "Yes!". A few minutes later the woman had to let another one rip. This time she didn't even think about it. She let rip a fart that rivaled a train whistle blowing. Once again, the father looked at the dog with disgust and yelled, "Damn it Skippy, get away from her before she sh**s on you!"
Hi Loddy, Good to see you. :) I'm thinking that "nuttin and nobidy" could ever please humorless twits like that. By everyone's account, Laura Bush is a wonderful wife, mother and friend. A smart, lovely and unpretentious lady who just happens to have the highest ratings of any First Lady ever. But a few santimonious sour-pusses want to condemn her for having a delightful and playful sense of humor. Go figure.
LOL!
Thanks for the laugh, been 'one of those days'.
Had a smut posting troll spam the forum today.
All that being said, ..... who woulda thunk a 50 to 1 long shot would win it. :)
The Three Little Pigs - NY Style
Once upon a time there were three little pigs. The straw pig, the stick pig and the brick pig.
One day this nasty old wolf came up to the straw pig's house and said, "I'm gonna huff and puff and blow your house down." And he did!!!
So the straw pig went running over to the stick pig's house and said, "Please let me in, the wolf just blew down my house." So the stick
Pig let the straw pig in.
Just then the wolf showed up and said, "I'm gonna huff and puff and blow your house down." And he did!!!
So the straw pig and the stick pig went running over to the brick pig's house and said, "Let us in, let us in, the big bad wolf just blew our houses down!"
So the brick pig let them in just as the wolf showed up. The wolf said, "I'm gonna huff and puff and blow your house down." The straw pig and the stick pig were so scared!
But the brick pig picked up the phone and made a call.
A few minutes passed and a big, black stretch limo pulls up. Out step two massive pigs in pin striped suits and fedora hats.
These pigs come over to the wolf, grab him by the neck and beat the living sh*t out of him, then one of them pulled out a gun, stuck it in his mouth and fired, killing the wolf, then they got back into their limo and drove off.
The straw pig and stick pig were amazed!!! "Who the hell were those guys?" they asked.
"Those were my cousins from Brooklyn ... the Guinea Pigs."
If any of those people saw the revised version that played on the Daily Show, I fear their heads exploded.
Cheers.
Things a Cat Thinks About
10 I could have sworn I heard the can opener.
9 Is there something I'm not getting when humans make noise with their mouths?
8 Why doesn't the government do something about dogs?
7 I wonder if Morris really liked 9-Lives, or did he have ULTERIOR motives?
6 Hmmm ... If dogs serve humans, and humans serve cats, why can't we cats ever get these STUPID dogs to do anything for us?!
5 This looks like a good spot for a nap.
4 Hey -- no kidding, I'm sure that's the can opener.
3 Would humans have built a vast and complex civilisation of their own if we cats hadn't given them a reason to invent sofas and can openers in the first place?
2 If there's a God, how can He allow neutering?
1 If that really was the can opener, I'll play finicky just to let THEM know who's boss!
That's funny. ;-)
Back to the laundry.
*chuckle*
Hmm.. getting bad ideas of one kind or another.
Sounds like you've met my cat.
*chuckle*
I'm amazed at the number of men here that actually do laundry.
If I don't do my own laundry, it ends up with enough fabric softener in it to make me itch.
Laundry is not rocket science. ;-)
Darks, cut your dryer sheets into quarters, and then use them twice. They put enough oil in those suckers to baste a chicken.
lodwick's free, money-saving laundry tip of the month.
I know!
Let's just say, the missus likes to use the fabric softener liquid, and uses too much.
Darlin', they're at it again. If you're still around, maybe you want to go help out, I hadn't read previous to this page, but some of the hilarity begins on this page:
http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/1399337/posts?q=1&&page=201
:-D
Pre-marriage (at 32), I took the Levi's and shirts to the laundry, and bought new socks and bedding whenever I needed clean stuff. Underwear was not part of the program at the time, and we've almost used up all the sheets and socks after nearly 27 years.
Most straight men, left to their own devices, are pretty much pigs in my experience and existence.
I loved your "stick up their butt" comment. LOL
It would be a difficult way to go through life, wouldn't you think?
Have you read any of those threads? There are some unbelievable comments on them. How long ago was that appearance when Laura Bush cracked a few jokes? And there are those who are still beating that dead horse.
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