Posted on 05/03/2005 5:51:07 PM PDT by SubMareener
A major research institution has recently announced the discovery of the heaviest chemical element yet known to science. The new element has been tentatively named "Governmentium."
Governmentium has 1 neutron, 12 assistant neutrons, 75 deputy neutrons, and 3 assistant deputy neutrons for each deputy neutron, giving it an atomic mass of 313. These 313 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons. Since Governmentium has no electrons, it is completely inert. However, it can be detected, as it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact. In fact, a minute amount of Governmentium can cause one reaction to take over 4 days to complete when it would normally take less than a millisecond.
Governmentium has a normal half-life of 3 years; it does not decay, but instead undergoes a strange reorganization in which a portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places. Scientists were astonished to learn that Governmentium's mass actually increases over time, since each reorganization causes some morons to become neutrons, thereby forming isodopes.
This characteristic of ever-increasing moron production has led some scientists to speculate that Governmentium may be formed whenever enough morons cluster together and reach a certain theoretical quantity. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as "critical morass."
Common Identifier: You will know it when you see it
(Excerpt) Read more at djnewswires.com ...
I have seen exactly this text in 1998. Unlike wine, jokes do not age well.
Well, the Washington Press Corps is all a twitter about it again!
cute
So9
Me too. I think it was called "Administratium" back then.
What makes a joke old is the fact it is funny. If it isn't funny it isn't repeated.
"Who are THEY? You will know them when you see them..."
LOL!
Once critical morass is attained the resulting levels of mass destruction attained are nearly indescribable.
Detonation of such devices causes a massive implosion, sucking all energy, resources and common sense within a blast radius of many miles depending upon the size of the device. Blast equivalents are measured in mega-dollars and giga-dollars. Weapons of kilo-dollar size were deemed obsolete decades ago.
Damage is produced by Heat (Measured in Fines and Paperwork), the Initial Blast (Measured in OSHAs) and Fallout (Measured in regs ((Short for regulations)).
Delivery Systems for such weapons are usually in the form of Lawyers and bureaucrats located in hardened underground bases called Law Firms or Agency Buildings.
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