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Why It's Great to be a Woman
JokesOnline ^ | 12/04 | staff

Posted on 03/28/2005 1:20:59 PM PST by pissant

We got off the Titanic first.

We can scare male bosses with mysterious gynecological disorder excuses.

We've never lusted after a cartoon character or the central figure in a computer game.

Taxis stop for us.

We don't look like a frog in a blender when dancing.

No fashion faux pas we make could ever rival The Speedo.

We don't have to fart to amuse ourselves.

If we forget to shave, no one has to know.

We can congratulate our teammate without ever touching her butt.

We never have to reach down every so often to make sure our privates are still there.

We have the ability to dress ourselves.

We can talk to people of the opposite sex without having to picture them naked.

There are times when chocolate really can solve all your problems.

We'll never regret piercing our ears.

We can fully assess a person just by looking at their shoes.


TOPICS: Chit/Chat
KEYWORDS: hahaha
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To: colorcountry

I shall take that under advisement!


21 posted on 03/28/2005 1:38:16 PM PST by pissant
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To: pissant

If you are 25 and unmarried you are a spinster.


22 posted on 03/28/2005 1:39:41 PM PST by bert (Peace is only halftime !)
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To: najida

Good. I'll tell my wife, with regards from najida. Thanks


23 posted on 03/28/2005 1:39:43 PM PST by pissant
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To: pissant

Every time I think men have most of the advantages in life, I remind myself that the opposite sex for them is women.


24 posted on 03/28/2005 1:40:04 PM PST by firebrand (Member of the proud brotherhood and sisterhood of copyeditors)
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To: Hi Heels
Check out this link from MIT. I think it definitely solve this problem once and for all: http://web.mit.edu/mlcohen/www/history.html
25 posted on 03/28/2005 1:40:19 PM PST by mike182d ("Let fly the white flag of war." - Zapp Brannigan)
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To: firebrand

Is that you Ann Coulter???


26 posted on 03/28/2005 1:40:56 PM PST by pissant
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To: pissant; Ann Coulter

Greatest compliment I ever got.


27 posted on 03/28/2005 1:41:42 PM PST by firebrand (Member of the proud brotherhood and sisterhood of copyeditors)
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To: bert

If you are over 50 and unmarried, you are intelligent.


28 posted on 03/28/2005 1:46:06 PM PST by Hi Heels (Now Andy, I ain't got time for them trivial trivialities...Barney Fife)
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To: mike182d

Link from "MATT". I'm speechless.


29 posted on 03/28/2005 1:47:47 PM PST by Hi Heels (Now Andy, I ain't got time for them trivial trivialities...Barney Fife)
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To: Hi Heels; bert

and if you are 25 thru 50, unmarried and conservative, you should be in HIGH DEMAND


30 posted on 03/28/2005 1:47:51 PM PST by pissant
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To: pissant
Fashion sense, and it has nothing to do with how old the shoes are or how much they cost. Certain kinds of people buy certain kinds of shoes. You can tell everything you need to know about a person by their shoes.

Do you need a reading? What kind of shoes do you have on? (Not that I expect a serious answer from Sir Pissant.)
31 posted on 03/28/2005 1:48:23 PM PST by teenyelliott (Soylent green is made of liberals...)
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To: Hi Heels

LOL!


32 posted on 03/28/2005 1:49:09 PM PST by najida (I wish I had Tina Turner's legs, Ann Coulter's brains and Paris Hilton's credit cards.)
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To: Hi Heels
If you are over 50 and unmarried, you are intelligent.

or too broke from the alimony to afford a girlfriend...

33 posted on 03/28/2005 1:49:36 PM PST by Yo-Yo
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To: teenyelliott

hmmm... I'll give one for the team. Lace up the front roman-esque sandals in brown suede, sling back with an inch heel.


34 posted on 03/28/2005 1:49:44 PM PST by Hi Heels (Now Andy, I ain't got time for them trivial trivialities...Barney Fife)
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To: teenyelliott

In all honesty, I'm just wearing my socks as we speak. But I wore my New Balance 475 trail running shoes into the office, if that helps....


35 posted on 03/28/2005 1:50:19 PM PST by pissant
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To: Yo-Yo

I IS the girl. And I don't get no alimony.


36 posted on 03/28/2005 1:51:59 PM PST by Hi Heels (Now Andy, I ain't got time for them trivial trivialities...Barney Fife)
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To: patton
20.00 - Good thing. Not trying to impress anyone, not superficial, frugal. All good things, and has nothing to do with what you make.

mud - You obviously do something worthwhile, or at least interesting, with your time. Just don't track it into my house. :)

untied - You are a slob, perhaps a little careless in personality, but not clumsy, otherwise you would not take the chance of tripping on them.

falling apart - You have better things to do with your time than shop for shoes, plus you just don't care. Not necessarily a bad thing.

All of the above would apply if I met you in a bar. If you wore these shoes to a job interview, I would simply assume you wanted your unemployment sheet signed.
37 posted on 03/28/2005 1:56:04 PM PST by teenyelliott (Soylent green is made of liberals...)
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To: pissant
No fashion faux pas we make could ever rival The Speedo.

Oh, I don't know about that. Some of the atrocities I've seen in Spandex and stretch pants gotta be right up there in contention.

38 posted on 03/28/2005 1:56:14 PM PST by DeFault User
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To: teenyelliott

I am sitting here in socks waiting for the temperature to rise just a little more so I can shed the socks and put on my flip-flops. What does that say about me? ;-)


39 posted on 03/28/2005 1:58:05 PM PST by samiam1972 (Live simply so that others may simply live!)
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To: DeFault User

Yeah. but the gals getta wear these fine undies

http://www.backlesslingerie.com/


40 posted on 03/28/2005 1:58:59 PM PST by pissant
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