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9 Types of Boyfriends
JokesOnline ^ | 12/04 | staff

Posted on 03/28/2005 11:46:37 AM PST by pissant

Joe Sensitive - "After I wash the dishes, let's cuddle, OK?" Also known as: Mr. Nice Guy, Family man, Honey, Darling, Soft-boiled Egg, Snugglepup Advantages: Well-behaved; irons own shirts Disadvantages: Irritatingly compassionate, wimpy

Old Man Grumpus - "People are stupid. The world can go to hell. Let's stay home and watch TV." Also known as: Grumbles, Sour puss, Stick-in-the-mud, Old Fogey, Slow Mover, Jerk Advantages: Stays put; predictable Disadvantages: Royal pain in the butt

Flinchy - "I--I'm sorry for whatever it was I did." Also known as: Trembly, Creampuff, Hey you Advantages: Jumps entertainingly when startled Disadvantages: Easily spooked; surrenders without a struggle

Bigfoot - "Shut yer trap, I'm thinkin'." Also known as: Chunk-style, Lummox, Ignoramus, Galoot, the Hulk, Big 'n' Dumb Advantages: Can tote bales; is easily fooled Disadvantages: Can break you in half, sweats like a pig

Lazybones - "Zzzzzz" Also known as: Lucky Dog, Parasite, Bum, Sponge, Snoozebucket, Drug Addict Advantages: Well rested; easy target Disadvantages: Unlikely to fulfill your dreams

The Sneak - "Who, me?" Also known as: Love Pirate, Snake, Rat, Slime, Son of a Bitch Advantages: May feel pangs of guilt Disadvantages: May be having time of his life

Ace of Hearts - "After I wash the dishes, let's make love like crazed weasels, OK?" Also known as: The Sizzler, Handyman, Dreamboat, Casanova, Monster Advantages: Perpetually aroused Disadvantages: Perpetually aroused

The Dreamer - "Someday I'm going to be rich and famous. I don't know how, but--" Also known as: Struggling Artist, Philosopher, Buffoon, Bag of Wind Advantages: Tells good stories Disadvantages: Will turn into "Old Man Grumpus"

Mr. Right - "While the servants wash the dishes, let's make love like crazed weasels in my new yacht, ok?" Also known as: Mr. Perfect, Jim Dandy Advantages: Answer to a woman's prayer Disadvantages: Hunted to extinction


TOPICS: Business/Economy
KEYWORDS: zoinks
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Touche!
1 posted on 03/28/2005 11:46:40 AM PST by pissant
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To: pissant

I see this as an attempt to avoid FReeper female flames over the 9 types of girlfriends. Wise move. :)


2 posted on 03/28/2005 11:47:32 AM PST by Tijeras_Slim
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To: pissant; cyborg

You do. Thanks.


3 posted on 03/28/2005 11:47:58 AM PST by Petronski (If Reichskanzler Greer can kill Terri, who will be next?)
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To: Petronski; cyborg

I haven't seen cyborg around lately. Where are you cyborg?


4 posted on 03/28/2005 11:50:00 AM PST by pissant
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To: pissant

Q: What does an American woman do once she finds Mr. Right?

A: She keeps looking.


5 posted on 03/28/2005 11:51:00 AM PST by thoughtomator (Order "Judges Gone Wild!" Only $19.95 have your credit card handy!)
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To: pissant

She was around this morning.


6 posted on 03/28/2005 11:51:25 AM PST by Petronski (If Reichskanzler Greer can kill Terri, who will be next?)
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To: pissant
Flinchy - "I--I'm sorry for whatever it was I did." Also known as: Trembly, Creampuff, Hey you Advantages: Jumps entertainingly when startled Disadvantages: Easily spooked; surrenders without a struggle

Also known as "The Liberal" or a "Frenchie".

7 posted on 03/28/2005 11:54:18 AM PST by MotleyGirl70 ("Wild, wild horses couldn't drag me away.." :)
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To: MotleyGirl70

If you ever date a French guy, you'll see utterly misplaced machismo.


8 posted on 03/28/2005 11:55:46 AM PST by pissant
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To: pissant

TEACHER: (holding picture of deer for class to see) "What is it that your Mommy calls your Daddy?"


SUSIE: "Don't tell me that's a Lummox"


9 posted on 03/28/2005 11:58:21 AM PST by The Spirit Of Allegiance (ATTN. MARXIST RED MSM: I RESENT your "RED STATE" switcheroo using our ELECTORAL MAP as PROPAGANDA!)
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To: pissant

(Thanks)
I thought I was seeing double.


10 posted on 03/28/2005 12:01:02 PM PST by najida (I wish I had Tina Turner's legs, Ann Coulter's brains and Paris Hilton's credit cards.)
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To: pissant
you'll see utterly misplaced machismo.

Ya don't say.


11 posted on 03/28/2005 12:01:12 PM PST by MotleyGirl70 ("Wild, wild horses couldn't drag me away.." :)
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To: MotleyGirl70

Yeah, I forgot to mention the primative dental hygiene....


12 posted on 03/28/2005 12:04:22 PM PST by pissant
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To: Tijeras_Slim

We can always stir it up with "9 Types of Boyfriends of Boyfriends."


13 posted on 03/28/2005 12:07:05 PM PST by sarah_f ( Know Islam, Know Terror.)
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To: pissant
LOL!

Yet he seems so happy showing off his rotted tooth.

14 posted on 03/28/2005 12:10:11 PM PST by MotleyGirl70 ("Wild, wild horses couldn't drag me away.." :)
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To: MotleyGirl70

and his ever so masculine Swatch....


15 posted on 03/28/2005 12:14:08 PM PST by pissant
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To: pissant

very interesting...


16 posted on 03/28/2005 12:40:55 PM PST by cyborg (Sudanese refugee,"Mr.Schiavo I disagree with your opinion about not feeling pain when you starve.")
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To: Blurblogger

What is a lummox?


17 posted on 03/28/2005 12:42:01 PM PST by pissant
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To: pissant; Lazamataz

"What is a lummox?" **

A Lummox: if Laz meant what he said here: LOL

http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-chat/1372460/posts?page=15#15


** Seriously, I think it's a term for musk ox, IIRC.


18 posted on 03/28/2005 12:54:40 PM PST by The Spirit Of Allegiance (ATTN. MARXIST RED MSM: I RESENT your "RED STATE" switcheroo using our ELECTORAL MAP as PROPAGANDA!)
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To: Blurblogger

Got it. Laz always means what he says!


19 posted on 03/28/2005 12:58:12 PM PST by pissant
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To: pissant

I'm Old Man Grumpus, and my wife is Sickly.


20 posted on 03/28/2005 1:00:30 PM PST by Sloth (I don't post a lot of the threads you read; I make a lot of the threads you read better.)
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