Posted on 03/28/2005 11:01:39 AM PST by pissant
If there's one thing any man needs to learn about women, it's what to say to make them happy. To quote Homer Simpson, "When it comes to compliments, women are ravenous blood-sucking monsters, always wanting more... more... more! And if you give it to them, you'll get plenty back in return."
Whether you're in a committed relationship or are playing the field, remember this rule: You can keep a woman ready to please you simply by letting her know how much she already does.
That said, here are the top 10 things women love to hear and why saying them will work wonders for you.
Number 10
"How was your day?"
When you ask her how her day went, her interpretation is that you are thoughtful and eager to know about her 9-to-5 routine. Be warned though: This question gives her license to talk at length about all the little dramas that occurred throughout her day. So be ready to set aside some time to listen to her stories.
Why it makes you look good: To her, it's the thought that counts. Asking about her day shows that you're receptive, interested and open to listening to her. You're giving her an outlet to vent and acting as her confidante. Sure, you might have to listen longer than you want to, but once she's done talking shop, she'll be talking about you.
Number 9
"I can't believe how sexy you look!".
Straight up, this tells her that you find her attractive, and to a lesser extent, that you want some. But, if you're in a relationship, she'll hear more than that -- namely, that you're still lustfully appreciating her fine ass. No woman could fail to be flattered by that compliment.
Why it makes you look good: This line is particularly effective in long-term relationships, as you're assuring your woman that she's still hot. In return, this makes her want to share her hotness with you. Any questions? Didn't think so.
Number 8
"How do you feel about [anything]?"
Asking this question tells your lady that you're genuinely concerned about her feelings. And, as both Oprah and Dr. Phil have proven beyond a shadow of a doubt, women love to express their feelings on every topic imaginable. Know, however, that you're setting yourself up for a lengthy and deep conversation about whatever the topic may be. So don't ask this if you're planning to watch a game that night.
Why it makes you look good: It's all about showing the compassionate side. Once she understands that you're devoting attention to her it will make all her feelings about you that much more intense. So, if you were just kind of attractive before, you'll become a stud in her eyes. If you were a friend before, now she'll want more. Get the picture?
Number 7
"You're prettier than your girlfriends."
Putting her on a pedestal among her peers gives her an ego boost that she can secretly lord over her gal pals. It's high praise in the world of women, and will score you some big flattery points.
Why it makes you look good: Aside from making her feel aesthetically superior to other women, this little remark will make her cognizant of how much you value her. She'll also feel less threatened by her friends when they are around you. She'll feel good about herself and consequently will want to reward your good taste. There is a potential flip side, however: the jealous partner may take this only as evidence that you're checking out her friends.
Number 6
"You're really smart."
By acknowledging her intelligence, you're communicating that you recognize her brains, as well as her figure. This makes a woman feel appreciated for all her assets, not just the parts that fit in a thong or a bra. It's a mark of respect from her man.
Why it makes you look good: First off, she'll appreciate that you are capable of thinking above the waistline. Women love a cordial man, and there's no better way for you to show off your gentlemanly qualities than to praise and distinguish her smarts.
Number 5
"You're great in bed."
Simply put, this line makes her feel like a goddess. Hearing it suggests that her sexuality has been elevated in your eyes and makes her feel like she really knows how to satisfy her man. It could also help to knock away any inhibitions she might have in the bedroom.
Why it makes you look good: Praising her performance indicates that for you, sex isn't just about getting your rocks off. You appreciate every aspect of the experience itself, particularly the extra efforts she puts towards it.
Number 4
"I want to spend my life with you."
This is a heavy line; it's not many degrees away from proposing to her. So be prepared for the consequences if you utter it. But also keep in mind that risk often carries reward -- once you tell her this she'll be doing mental backflips of joy. Other phrases that work in a similar vein but are less committal are, "Only you can make me so happy," and, "I wouldn't want to be with anyone else."
Why it makes you look good: All women love to hear a formal expression of enduring commitment from their man. Brother, to her, you'll practically receive a permanent halo after this.
Number 3
"You're my best friend."
You're telling her how you feel above and beyond a sexual context. It means you've placed value upon your friendship and want to do things with her that other men may not have had an interest in. She'll feel overpoweringly connected to you after you say this.
Why it makes you look good: These words change you from being just the guy she's doing to the guy she is doing things with, too. It rockets you to the top of the suitor list because you've openly declared the F-word: friendship.
Number 2
"You'll make a great mother."
Most women look forward to having babies one day. Most also agonize over whether they will do a good job of it. By saying this you affirm to her that she'll be a success. Furthermore, you satisfy her internal need to be pacified on the subject. Coming from her man, these words will make her the happiest she can be.
Why it makes you look good: Indirectly, you just confirmed to your woman that you're thinking about making babies with her. Obviously, this is great music to her ears. From this point onwards, she'll be ever more receptive to your advances.
Number 1
"You make my life complete."
This tells her that she's the only one for you. All women want to hear this line from their men. It says that you've accepted her completely and that she has become an essential, indispensable ingredient in your life. That's an unbelievably gratifying thought to your woman -- she'll be smiling for days.
Why it makes you look good: This basically says that you need her in your life, and that you couldn't live without her. Women fall head over heels for this kind of stuff.
"We got another Platinum credit card in the mail today."
Hmmm,
Ah,
You may need to work on a few of those. ;)
The Laura Ingraham "butt monkey"
I like this one:
Damn woman! You make that dress look freekin sexyyyyyy!
Which one isn't quite right?
Honey, when I said "You ruined my life you effin' harpy" I really meant to say "Please pass the potatoes."
and add "Go knock yourself out at the mall..."
and, #2 should be: "Sure,honey, I'll do it* right now."
("It" being take out the trash, fix that basement step, mow the lawn, clean up the cat barf on the front hall carpet, fix the kitchen faucet, install the new ceiling fan, clean the garage,etc. etc.)
Why, thank you
*blush*
I don't like your version of "it"
"it" should mean
a) go out with the boys for a beer
b) go find that sexy negligee at the bottom of her drawer
c) sit down on the couch and wait for her to bring you a beer.
To paraphrase Jerry Lee Lewis, "A whole lotta manipulatin' goin' on"
Very little in these ten has to do with either the character of the man or woman, it's all about the external. And when that fades--or before--if there's no character, the temptation is powerful to trade in on a newer model. Proverbs 31 gives the kind of comments I focus on, day to day. And I'm memorizing the Song of Solomon for my honeymoon...now I just gotta find the right ear to whisper into....
Just don't whisper into mine!!!
"Me and my wife have already agreed that next time we are marrying for money. Definately".
_____________________________________________
If she leaves you she will get well over 1/2 of yours, so you better be golddigging, you'll need it.
FOFL!
Warning to men: Don't use these lines unless you mean them!! If you say them sincerely, she'll take you seriously and mentally start planning the wedding. You're in bigger trouble if she senses you're only saying them to get into her pants.
Pissant strikes again! Thanks for the chucks...I always grin when I see another one of your offerings.
Where do you find this stuff? LOL
Things women love to hear: honey, I clipped my toenails.
Men would never use flattery to "get into her pants". You think we are animals?
Things women like to hear: honey, that Beano really works!!!
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