FREEPER FAMILY TABLE--Manners, manners!

me | March 18, 2005 | grellis

[grellis]

Yes, it is a topic we have discussed previously but it was so much fun last time I thought we could have another go at it.

How does one raise a well-mannered child? Are we well mannered adults, giving our children a good example from which to learn? What are some instances of atrocious manners that you have encountered lately?

Coffee's on!

[Gabz]

ANNYOKIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Those type children drive me absolutely bonkers....

Mine took off on me in Rose's about a year ago.............she has NEVER pulled such a stunt again. She learned the consequences....and learned it's not funny, at all at all.

[Tax-chick]

"Stay together" is an absolute rule for us.

[annyokie]

They are the same children that you see ripping open packages of snacks and eating grapes out of the bin. This is after they have tipped over the barrel of beans and then returned to the scene of the crime.

I also can't stand parents who think it is "cute" to let their kids hid in the racks of clothes.

[Gabz]

I understand that in your situation........I only have the 1 and it is also the rule with us.

[Tax-chick]

hide in the racks of clothes.

Some of mine have tried that. They regretted it.

[annyokie]

As did mine. Stores are not playgrounds.

[Gabz]

Jax doesn't even think to try the hide in the racks thing anymore.

Knock on wood, I very rarely have a problem with her anymore when we are shopping.

When going grocery shopping, she's in charge of the list and so has a focous.

When we're doing the department store thing (including Wal-Mart) things on the list for her are divided, some first and some last...........she behaves in the middle because last can be decided against.

Hardware stores and lumber yards are never a problem.........I don't know why, but we have never had a problem with her in those places.

[Gabz]

Stores are never playgrounds.


Time for me to take a break from the puter.........time to finish fixing dinner.

It's been ages since I cooked cabbage - so I've got to do a refresher course through a cookbook. The corned beef has been in the crock pot since this morning and the potato pancakes are simple........it's the danged cabbage.

Being handed only-hours-out-of-the-water rockfish yesterday made a big decision on St Patty's day dinner! By the time hubby got home from work and filletted it and I put it in the oven, it had been out of the water about 6 hours.

[annyokie]

I don't know how your Walmart is laid out, but ours has what I consider narrow aisles and most of them have endcaps. It's very easy to collide with someone coming around a corner if you are not alert.

We have a large population of elderly people here and these children tearing around are creating a hazard for granny who is trying to reach for an item on a high shelf while simultaneously clutching her cane.

[Gabz]

I've been in those narrow aisle Wal-Marts (and every other chain store) and I hate them. The Wal-Mart I now shop in is one of the better ones I've been in.........and the employees are all very pleasant, polite, and helpful.

Now I'm going to deal with my cabbage.............later!!!!

[annyokie]

See ya! I have shallots to chop.

[luckystarmom]

My girls used to hide in the racks. As soon as I got one, the other one would be hiding. I hated taking them anywhere.

Then there was the Santa picture when Jeremy was I think 6, and the girls were 4. We got all dressed up to see Santa. As soon as we walked into the mall, Jenny took off outside. I couldn't get Emily & Jeremy to walk fast enough, so I just told them to stand still. Someone else caught Jenny. I don't think I took her to the mall by myself until maybe when she was 6. The following year, Dad came with us and we went to a smaller mall.

Now, I have the perfect solution to me taking them to the stores for errands. My kids are all old enough to stay in the car by themselves. We just got a new mini-van with a DVD player. I turn on the DVD, and they are happy. I don't do long errands, but I can run in a get a few things at the grocery store or go to the post office. Of course, we'll have to watch it when it gets hot outside. Jeremy's old enough to know what to do if it got too hot. He's almost 11.

[grellis]

Good grief, what a day!

Vet still isn't 100% sure what's wrong with Cheyenne but she thinks that it is inflammation in her lower back, pressing on her spinal cord. Makes sense. Cheyenne is walking around like she's got her back half anesthetitized. The good news is, first, she's not in any pain at all. Nothing is dislocated and if there IS swelling, it is minimal. She's eating and drinking just fine and actually walking pretty well--the only time she splays down now is if something knocks her off balance (like a sneeze). I took her out with her handsome Rott "boyfriend" tonight and she did very well. He was quite anxious. She took a few spills and he had to sniff her all over to make sure she was okay. Finally ended up walking shoulder to shoulder with her--very sweet. Cheyenne is now taking anti-inflammatory meds which should clear up the problem. We'll know more in a day or two. Her weight is great, her heart sounds are very strong and consistent. Vet says that if the problem is swelling it is probably from a strained back muscle. If that is the case, Cheyenne will be off the meds in a week or two. Thank you, God.

[rwfromkansas]

I am in college currently, and when I was younger, our family actually ate together, which is rare for today.

However, when it came to table manners, we did not really have any. We just grabbed the bowl of food and brought it to us instead of asking others to pass it. I guess our attitude was why should you have to work when I want something? So, I would get up, go to the other end of the table, and get the food. My mom shouldn't have to pass it to me when it is something I want.

Anyway, we also were not sticklers about the elbows on the table or placement of forks and knives etc. You just grabbed the needed utensils. Why be anal about how they are organized on the table?

One habit I don't like though is my bad habit of having elbows on the table all the time. It is awful. I just eat and stick my elbows on the table. This is about the only piece of good table manners I actually feel I should adhere to....pulling your head down to your spoon is just lazy.

[rwfromkansas]

in the college cafeteria: laughing really, really loudly and rudely. You can barely hear yourself talk.

Oh, and talking on your cell phone in the cafeteria.

[rwfromkansas]

Parents often send their problem kids to Christian school, according to my sister who used to teach at one. They can be worse than public schools!

[rwfromkansas]

Man, keep us updated.

We had to put our dog down last year (14 years old....Cairn Terrier.....can sometimes live darn near to 20 before dying) because she contracted this horrid skin disease that caused her to be in terrible pain and peel all over.

Thank goodness her death was quick and painless. It did not even take 10 seconds and she went to sleep first before her heart stopped etc.

[grellis]

I don't have a problem with relaxed table manners in older children. The problem is, when a parent is too relaxed with teaching children good table manners (or any other manners) when they're young is that children cannot differentiate the setting. For example, if children get up to fetch some food from the opposite end of the table at home, they are far more likely to do that when dining out with their family. Working in a restaurant, I can tell you this: children who do not remain seated while eating are not just distracting, they are dangerous. I have had to dodge kids while carrying a tray laden with food in one hand and a steaming pot of coffee in another. That is dangerous. There are always going to be times when a child must be excused from the table while dining out (to use the restroom, for example). That is an unavoidable circumstance. A child, or an adult for that matter, should not have to leave their seat in order to get food from further down the table--it is avoidable. The other problem with a child getting up to get more food in a restaurant is that it sends a message to other dining children--"Why not stretch your legs, compadres?" That's fine in Chuck E. Cheese, where the behavior should be expected. Once a child is old enough to distinguish what constitutes good public manners as opposed to private manners, the relaxing of rules at home might be something the parents want to consider.

I haven't had a thing to eat yet today, folks. There's a bowl of cereal calling my name somewhere in this house!

[annyokie]

One must learn to eat properly. Good table manners will carry you anywhere. You'll never be embarrassed in a public/business setting.

At the house is a different deal. I have an 8 YO who can cut his own meat and eat European style with his fork in his left hand.

[annyokie]

I've had my children in parochial schools. They tended to cost a lot of money and had inferior teachers who were teaching there so their own children could go to school for free.