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What Your Drink Says About You (very funny)
funtimes.com ^ | 12/04 | staff

Posted on 03/15/2005 3:07:01 PM PST by pissant

Bartenders were asked if they could nail a woman's personality based on what she drinks. Though interviewed separately, they concurred on almost all counts.

The results (female):

Drink: Beer Personality: Casual, low-maintenance; down to Earth. Your Approach: Challenge her to a game of pool.

Drink: Blender Drinks Personality: Flaky, annoying; a pain in the butt. Your Approach: Avoid her, unless you want to be her cabin boy.

Drink: Mixed Drinks Personality: Older, has picky taste; knows what she wants. Your Approach: You won't have to approach her. She'll send YOU a drink.

Drink: Wine - (does not include white zinfandel, see below) Personality: Conservative and classy, sophisticated. Your Approach: Tell her you wish Reagan had had four more years . . . Alzheimer's and term limits be damned.

Drink: White Zin Personality: Easy; thinks she is classy and sophisticated, actually has no clue. Your Approach: Make her feel smarter than she is...

Drink: Shots Personality: Hanging with frat-boy pals or looking to get drunk...and naked. Your Approach: Easiest hit in the joint. Nothing to do but wait.

Then there is the male addendum .... The deal with guys is, as always, = very simple and clear cut.

Domestic Beer: He's poor and wants to get some.

Imported Beer: He likes good beer and wants to get some.

Wine: He's hoping that the wine thing will give him a sophisticated image to help him get some.

Whiskey: He doesn't give two rats about anything but getting some.

Tequila: Piss off, all you wankers, I'm gonna go shag something.

White Zin: He's gay.

(Excerpt) Read more at funtown.com ...


TOPICS: Agriculture
KEYWORDS: alcohol; beer; zoinks
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To: Dashing Dasher

I claim no responsibility for the irresponsibility of others' posts! ;o)


41 posted on 03/15/2005 3:27:44 PM PST by pissant (good steak!)
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To: pissant

Good steak?
How was the rest?


42 posted on 03/15/2005 3:27:45 PM PST by Dashing Dasher (Hard things are put in our way, not to stop us, but to call out our courage and strength.)
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To: Gewittermädchen

depends if you are a guy or a chick.


43 posted on 03/15/2005 3:29:09 PM PST by pissant (good steak!)
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To: Dashing Dasher

like I said, good steak.


44 posted on 03/15/2005 3:30:21 PM PST by pissant (good steak!)
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To: Bahbah; Apple Pan Dowdy; Bizzy Bugz
Don't think Chocolate martinis made the list.
45 posted on 03/15/2005 3:30:45 PM PST by hoosiermama (Party affiliation merits stating only if unique not common place.... R = unique. D=common place)
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To: pissant

#38, very nice


46 posted on 03/15/2005 3:31:05 PM PST by AGreatPer
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To: Neets
Where do you want that shot of whiskey sent to?

Trying to figure out how I can do this through Vonage

Tho somehow...I don't think we'll ever get 30 year old scotch to go digital.

you already got the mail....feel better.

47 posted on 03/15/2005 3:32:24 PM PST by Focault's Pendulum
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To: hoosiermama; Apple Pan Dowdy; Bizzy Bugz
Don't think Chocolate martinis made the list.

There are women who just cannot be categorized. Usually, they are from the South ;)

48 posted on 03/15/2005 3:32:44 PM PST by Bahbah
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To: Focault's Pendulum

Thursday,

I should be 99.9% by then, if not you'll just have to listen to me slur my words ;-)


49 posted on 03/15/2005 3:33:15 PM PST by Neets (;-))
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To: Bahbah

Guess who forgot the "Bold Off". Give me another martini.


50 posted on 03/15/2005 3:33:26 PM PST by Bahbah
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To: Bahbah; anniegetyourgun

Good one BB....Annie you might enjoy this thread too.


51 posted on 03/15/2005 3:34:49 PM PST by hoosiermama (Party affiliation merits stating only if unique not common place.... R = unique. D=common place)
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To: pissant

Need beer/Guinness goggles...


52 posted on 03/15/2005 3:35:18 PM PST by dakine
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To: pissant
depends if you are a guy or a chick.

Chick...

53 posted on 03/15/2005 3:35:26 PM PST by Gewittermädchen (The best minds are not in government...Ronald Reagan)
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To: pissant

It is funny, but it was also funny 25 years ago when I read it the first time.


54 posted on 03/15/2005 3:35:37 PM PST by toddlintown (Cold out? Nah, that's just the nuclear winter.)
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To: Gewittermädchen

Then I'll expect you'll send me a drink if I see you in a smoky bar! ;o)


55 posted on 03/15/2005 3:36:53 PM PST by pissant (good steak!)
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To: pissant
Drink: Shots Personality: Hanging with frat-boy pals or looking to get drunk...and naked. Your Approach: Easiest hit in the joint. Nothing to do but wait.

Mating call of a Georgia girl: "Lord, I am so drunk!

56 posted on 03/15/2005 3:37:28 PM PST by yankeedame ("Born with the gift of laughter and a sense that the world was mad.")
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To: toddlintown

after 25 years, and too many adult beverages, you needed a reminder...


57 posted on 03/15/2005 3:37:37 PM PST by pissant (good steak!)
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To: pissant

I don't see chilled Absolut with lime on that list.


58 posted on 03/15/2005 3:37:51 PM PST by SilentServiceCPOWife ("It's a good life...if you don't weaken." - - my grandmother)
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To: yankeedame

ROFL!!!


59 posted on 03/15/2005 3:38:06 PM PST by pissant (good steak!)
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To: SilentServiceCPOWife

That would fall under the whiskey category, and chances are you'd be smoking a cigar. so I expect you to send a drink my way.


60 posted on 03/15/2005 3:39:28 PM PST by pissant (good steak!)
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