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What Your Drink Says About You (very funny)
funtimes.com ^ | 12/04 | staff

Posted on 03/15/2005 3:07:01 PM PST by pissant

Bartenders were asked if they could nail a woman's personality based on what she drinks. Though interviewed separately, they concurred on almost all counts.

The results (female):

Drink: Beer Personality: Casual, low-maintenance; down to Earth. Your Approach: Challenge her to a game of pool.

Drink: Blender Drinks Personality: Flaky, annoying; a pain in the butt. Your Approach: Avoid her, unless you want to be her cabin boy.

Drink: Mixed Drinks Personality: Older, has picky taste; knows what she wants. Your Approach: You won't have to approach her. She'll send YOU a drink.

Drink: Wine - (does not include white zinfandel, see below) Personality: Conservative and classy, sophisticated. Your Approach: Tell her you wish Reagan had had four more years . . . Alzheimer's and term limits be damned.

Drink: White Zin Personality: Easy; thinks she is classy and sophisticated, actually has no clue. Your Approach: Make her feel smarter than she is...

Drink: Shots Personality: Hanging with frat-boy pals or looking to get drunk...and naked. Your Approach: Easiest hit in the joint. Nothing to do but wait.

Then there is the male addendum .... The deal with guys is, as always, = very simple and clear cut.

Domestic Beer: He's poor and wants to get some.

Imported Beer: He likes good beer and wants to get some.

Wine: He's hoping that the wine thing will give him a sophisticated image to help him get some.

Whiskey: He doesn't give two rats about anything but getting some.

Tequila: Piss off, all you wankers, I'm gonna go shag something.

White Zin: He's gay.

(Excerpt) Read more at funtown.com ...


TOPICS: Agriculture
KEYWORDS: alcohol; beer; zoinks
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To: Neets

Why, sweet iced tea, of course! Southern Gentleman! :oP


101 posted on 03/15/2005 4:35:04 PM PST by RedBloodedAmerican
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To: pissant
Wine: He's hoping that the wine thing will give him a sophisticated image to help him get some.

I'VE BEEN EXPOSED!!!

102 posted on 03/15/2005 4:35:58 PM PST by Clemenza (Alcohol Tobacco & Firearms: The Other Holy Trinity)
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To: AGreatPer

Do you respect pissant more or less after your beer?


103 posted on 03/15/2005 4:36:39 PM PST by anniegetyourgun
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To: Clemenza

Sure its not White zin. You are in Seattle afterall. ;o)


104 posted on 03/15/2005 4:37:09 PM PST by pissant (good steak!)
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To: RedBloodedAmerican
Here ya go babe


105 posted on 03/15/2005 4:37:34 PM PST by Neets
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To: LibFreeOrDie

Thank you!!!!
I'm playing it now!


106 posted on 03/15/2005 4:38:36 PM PST by Dashing Dasher (Hard things are put in our way, not to stop us, but to call out our courage and strength.)
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To: pissant
White Zin is an abomination. If I ever meet Mr. Trinchero (inventor of White Zinfandel) of Sutter Home fame, I will give him a piece of my mind. Of course, I don't think he will care, as the Trincheros cry all the way to the bank.

Besides, we all know that Peter Puffers prefer Australian Shiraz.

107 posted on 03/15/2005 4:41:29 PM PST by Clemenza (Alcohol Tobacco & Firearms: The Other Holy Trinity)
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To: hoosiermama
First choice? a heavy cabernet
Second choice? a white russian

Yep, that's me....old, picky, classy, self-assured, and wishing Reagan were still in the saddle.....

108 posted on 03/15/2005 4:42:52 PM PST by anniegetyourgun
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To: Neets

Thanks! Hey, Gramma was a Florida cracker, and she would load her iced tea with bourbon. I found that out by accident when I tossed what I thought was her watered-down tea into the drain...I got my butt whupped by a 90 yr old! LOL


109 posted on 03/15/2005 4:42:55 PM PST by RedBloodedAmerican
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To: Clemenza

Australian Shiraz is a definite no in my house, 'specially since Washington Syrah is much better.


110 posted on 03/15/2005 4:43:23 PM PST by pissant (good steak!)
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To: RedBloodedAmerican

Now you know better than to mess with a woman and her bourbon!!!


111 posted on 03/15/2005 4:45:19 PM PST by Neets
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To: pissant

Yuengling Premium.

Around the holidays, a glass or two of good port.

At the martini bar? A premium vodka gibson with three small ice cubes.


112 posted on 03/15/2005 4:45:21 PM PST by P.O.E.
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To: Clemenza

Hey, when I lived in Alameda I visited/stayed at a cottage at Milano Winery near Napa one year. The guy who owned it at the time grew up there - he inherited it from his dad - and he said he used to play with neighboring kids, like the Fetzer boys and some others who I forget their name now (this was 1990). Anyhow, he said nowadays almost all wines are "blends", that the growers all buy from each other and blend their stuff and rename it to save money. Yuck! Although Milano had some great stuff. Oregon and Washington wines are nice, although I don't drink anymore (but cook with red occasionally). Similar climate to France in that region for grape growing.


113 posted on 03/15/2005 4:47:48 PM PST by RedBloodedAmerican
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To: P.O.E.

Vodka blasphemes a martini glass. Gin only!


114 posted on 03/15/2005 4:48:01 PM PST by pissant (good steak!)
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To: Neets
You aren't kidding! And my other gramma would make fruit cake with enough booze in it to make you into a Molotov cocktail.
115 posted on 03/15/2005 4:49:28 PM PST by RedBloodedAmerican
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To: pissant

Okay, this was kind of fun!
"Drink: Wine - (does not include white zinfandel, see below) Personality: Conservative and classy, sophisticated. Your Approach: Tell her you wish Reagan had had four more years . . . Alzheimer's and term limits be damned."

I found a Missouri wine (don't laugh) that I really enjoy. Adam Puchta's Vignoles. Delicious!

The drink really depends on my mood, though. Beer on a hot summer evening, wine at the house with friends, Makers and Coke when out playing.

I'm going to pass this on to the girlfriends!


116 posted on 03/15/2005 4:49:34 PM PST by samiam1972 (Live simply so that others may simply live!)
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To: samiam1972

Makers and coke is very tasty, if you leave out the coke. ;0)


117 posted on 03/15/2005 4:52:22 PM PST by pissant (good steak!)
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To: RedBloodedAmerican
The larger vineyards (Sutter, Gallo, Mondavi, Fetzer, etc.) tend to blend from several vineyards both company and non-company owned and are therefore not "estate" bottled. The more high quality (and expensive!) wines in California are still estate grown. Most Oregon Pinot is estate grown, while Washington reds are, like California, more mixed.

Also keep in mind that much of the wine being sold in stores is either owned by Gallo (see Rancho Zabasco and Ecco Domani) or Constellation Brands (Mondavi and Clois Du Bois, I believe), although you will not see the parent company's name on the bottle.

118 posted on 03/15/2005 4:55:24 PM PST by Clemenza (Alcohol Tobacco & Firearms: The Other Holy Trinity)
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To: pissant

I REALLY don't want any hair on my chest!!! ;-) I'll keep the Coke.


119 posted on 03/15/2005 4:56:01 PM PST by samiam1972 (Live simply so that others may simply live!)
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To: samiam1972

Hairy chested chicks. Hmmmmm.


120 posted on 03/15/2005 4:58:27 PM PST by pissant (good steak!)
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