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That business out of the way, let's have at it!
Awesome. I've sent that one all over.
Two Irishmen were sitting at a pub having beer and watching the brothel across the street.
>
>They saw a Baptist minister walk into the brothel, and one of them said, "Aye, 'tis a shame to see a man of the cloth goin' bad."
>
>Then they saw a rabbi enter the brothel, and the other Irishman said, "Aye, 'tis a shame to see that the Jews are fallin' victim to temptation as well."
>
>Then they see a Catholic priest enter the brothel, and one of the Irishmen said, "What a terrible pity...one of the girls must be dying."
Out of the blue, a beautiful long-legged woman in a wetsuit with scuba gear walks up to him. Startled, a bit, Seamus says, "Hello Lady"
She replies, "How long has it been since you had a smoke?"
"A good while," says Seamus. The woman pulls a pack of smokes from her pocket, lights on for him and hands it to Seamus.
"How long has it been since you had a drink?" she asks.
"Been a good while," says Seamus. The woman reaches in her pocket and pulls out some Irish Whiskey and hands it to Seamus.
The woman looks ol Seamus in the eye and says, "How long has it been since you played around?"
Seamus' eyes got all big, "Good Lord M'lady....how'd you get a set of golf clubs in yer pocket?!"
That's a good one
"That's for Pearl Harbor," is the reply.
"But I'm Korean!" the oriental man protests. "Pearl Harbor was bombed by the Japanese!"
"Korean, Japanese, it's all the same to me," says the Jewish American and returns to his seat.
A little while later he feels a whack on the back of his head. He looks up and sees the Korean standing over him. "What was that for?" he asks.
"That was for the Titanic!"
"The Titanic?!! That was sunk by an iceburg."
"Iceburg, Goldberg, it's all the same to me."
Shalom.
I went to college with Bullwinkle...at Wassamatta U.
Studied astrophysics...now qualified to take up space.
What do you call two gay guys named "Bob"?
Oral Roberts.
What's the difference between being whelmed and overwhelmed?
But thanks. It's better than not knowing.
I think.
Shalom.
lol
"Just a sec," he replies.
The woman has heard this one far too many times. She shouts back, "Secs, secs, secs, I'm sick and tired of your secs."
Just before she discovers the neighbors have dropped by for a visit.
Shalom.
played around...played a round...
good one.
We get each other either cokes or tea.
Congratulations to your hubby.
Three Irishmen, Paddy, Sean and Seamus, were stumbling home from the pub late one night and found themselves on the road which led past the old graveyard.
>
>"Come have a look over here," says Paddy, "It's Michael O'Grady's grave, God bless his soul. He lived to the ripe old age of 87."
>
>"That's nothing," says Sean, "here's one named Patrick O'Toole, it says here that he was 95 when he died!"
>
>Just then, Seamus yells out, "Good God, here's a fella that got to be 145 -
>!"
>
>"What was his name?" asks Paddy.
>
>Seamus stumbles around a bit, awkwardly lights a match to see what else is written on the stone marker, and exclaims, "Miles, from Dublin."
Bob
What do you call a man with no arms or legs hanging on the wall?
Art
What do you call a man with no arms or legs lying on the floor?
Matt
Joe, you know Billy has no arms or legs?
I know, but we need a third base.
Neil, stand up. Stand up, Neil! Neil! Stand up!
You can only count to 21 on him.
If you're lucky.
Shalom.
His face in the computer screen (as normal), she comes up behind him and whispers, "Super Sex?!"
He doesn't reply. So she says a bit more loudly, but with feeling, "SUPER SEX?!". Again, he does not reply.
Feeling hurt that he is ignoring her, she shouts, "SUPER SEX?!"
"Alright! Alright! I'll take the soup. Now leave me to Freep, damnit!"
thanks for the congrats on the hubby's sobriety. 33 years is a long time....yes, there is life after marriage.
Innocence? Hah! I scoff at innocence!
count to 21 on him.....
ArGee, it doesnt' matter. he's got a very nice saddle.
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