**** OFFICIAL FRIDAY SILLINESS THREAD!!!! ****

Action figures sold separately. Add toner. All models over 18 years of age. All rights reserved. Allow four to six weeks for delivery. An equal opportunity employer. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, is unintentional and purely coincidental. Apply only to affected area. Approved for veterans. As seen on TV. At participating locations only. Do not put head over tube. Avoid contact with mucous membranes. Avoid contact with skin. Avoid extreme temperatures and store in a cool dry place. Batteries not included. Be sure each item is properly endorsed. Beware of dog. Booths for two or more. Breaking seal constitutes acceptance of agreement. This film has been formatted from it's orginal version to fit your screen. (How did they know the size of my screen?) Call toll free number before digging. Caveat emptor. Contents under pressure. Do not walk. No parking 4-6PM. Check here if tax deductible. If your parents had no children, you probably will not have any either. 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Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and may or may not be the opinion of Free Republic or its operators. Do not write below this line. Documents are provided "as is" without any warranties expressed or implied. Don't quote me on anything. Don't quote me on that. We collect no personal information about you, other than the entire contents of your hard drive. Driver does not carry cash. By posting messages, uploading files, inputting data, sending content and artwork to the Company or engaging in any other form of communication (individually or collectively "Communications") to the Company Web Site, you hereby grant to Company a perpetual, worldwide, irrevocable, unrestricted, non-exclusive, royalty free license to use, copy, license, sublicense, adapt, distribute, display, publicly perform, reproduce, transmit, modify, edit and otherwise exploit such Communications, in all media now known or hereafter developed. Drop in any mailbox. 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We may enter the information you send into an electronic database, to share with our attorneys and investigators involved in law enforcement or policy-making and with our advertisers. For off-road use only. For office use only. For recreational use only. Do not disturb. Freshest if eaten before date on carton. Hand wash only, tumble dry on low heat. If a rash, redness, irritation, or swelling develops, discontinue use. If condition persists, consult your physician. If defects are discovered, do not attempt to fix them yourself, but return to an authorized service center. Translations of any materials into language other than English is intended solely as a convenience to the non-English-reading public. If ingested, do not induce vomiting, if symptoms persist, consult a doctor. Keep away from open flames and avoid inhaling fumes. Keep away from sunlight, pets, and small children. Keep cool; process promptly. Limit one-per-family, please. Limited time offer, call now to ensure prompt delivery. List at least two alternate dates. List each check separately by bank number. List was current at time of printing. Lost ticket pays maximum rate. May be too intense for some viewers. Must be 18 to enter. No Canadian coins. No alcohol, dogs or horses. Do not sit on changing table. No anchovies unless otherwise specified. No animals were harmed in the production of these documents. No money down. No other warranty expressed or implied. No passes accepted for this engagement. No postage necessary if mailed in the United States. No preservatives added. No purchase necessary. No salt, MSG, artificial color or flavor added. No shoes, no shirt, no service, no kidding. No solicitors. No substitutions allowed. No transfers issued until the bus comes to a complete stop. No user-serviceable parts inside. Not affiliated with the American Red Cross or other such scams. Not liable for damages due to use or misuse. Not recommended for children. Not responsible for direct, indirect, incidental or consequential damages resulting from any defect, error or failure to perform. Not the Beatles. Objects in mirror may be closer than they appear. A "toy Yoda" is not to be confused with a Toyota. Privacy not assured. Do not allow children to play in dryers. Fines double in work zones. One size fits all. Many suitcases look alike. No ticket, no laundry. Other copyright laws for specific entries apply wherever noted. Other restrictions may apply. Package sold by weight, not volume. Parental advisory - explicit lyrics. Penalty for private use. Place stamp here. Please remain seated until the ride has come to a complete stop. Possible penalties for early withdrawal. Post office will not deliver without postage. Beverages labeled "Hot" may be hot. Postage will be paid by addressee. Prerecorded for this time zone. Please remain seated until we stop at the gate. Price does not include taxes. 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For site security purposes and to ensure that this service remains available to all users, we employ software programs to monitor traffic to identify unauthorized attempts to upload or change information, or otherwise cause damage. In the event of authorized law enforcement investigations, and pursuant to any required legal process, information from these sources may be used to help identify an individual. Slightly enlarged to show detail. Slightly higher west of the Rockies. Slippery when wet. Smoking these may be hazardous to your health. Reference here to any specific commercial products, process, service, manufacturer, or company does not constitute its endorsement or recommendation by the US Government or HHS. Some assembly required. Do not send cash. Some equipment shown is optional. Some of the trademarks mentioned in this product appear for identification purposes only. Remove foil before insertion. Subject to FCC approval. You must be present to win. Subject to change without notice. Substantial penalty for early withdrawal, possible loss of consortium. Text may contain material some readers may find objectionable, parental guidance is advised. The information provided using this web site is only intended to be general summary information to the public. It is not intended to take the place of either the written law or regulations. Text used in these documents is made from 100% recycled electrons and magnetic particles. This is not an offer to sell securities. Not valid in Texas nor the United States. This offer is void where prohibited, taxed, or otherwise restricted. This product is meant for educational purposes only. Times approximate. Unix is a registered trademark of AT&T. Use only as directed. Use only in a well-ventilated area. User assumes full liabilities. Void where prohibited. We have sent the forms which seem right for you. You need not be present to win. Your canceled check is your receipt. Opinions expressed here (and perhaps elsewhere) are not necessarily those of the company nor the crew of the Mobius Triangle, nor of ship’s cat Thud, and may be, in fact, not valid otherwise, and to protect the innocence of said crew are thus not expressed here. Your mileage may vary. The refund check is in the mail.

That fineprint is waaaaay too easy to read.

Standard Disclaimer Action figures sold separately. Add toner. All models over 18 years of age. All rights reserved. Allow four to six weeks for delivery. An equal opportunity employer. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, is unintentional and purely coincidental. Apply only to affected area. Approved for veterans. As seen on TV. At participating locations only. Do not put head over tube. Avoid contact with mucous membranes. Avoid contact with skin. Avoid extreme temperatures and store in a cool dry place. Batteries not included. Be sure each item is properly endorsed. Beware of dog. Booths for two or more. Breaking seal constitutes acceptance of agreement. This film has been formatted from it's orginal version to fit your screen. (How did they know the size of my screen?) Call toll free number before digging. Caveat emptor. Contents under pressure. Do not walk. No parking 4-6PM. Check here if tax deductible. If your parents had no children, you probably will not have any either. Close cover before striking. Colors may fade. Do not try this at home. Contains a substantial amount of non-tobacco ingredients. Contents may settle during shipment. Contestants have been briefed on some questions before the show. You will remain logged in even if you close your browser. Logging off clears all cookies. You will remain logged in even if you close your browser. When you use Log Off to log out, you will log out of all computers you are currently logged into. Helpful if you've forgotten to log off in an untrusted environment. Disclaimer does not cover hurricane, lightning, tornado, tsunami, volcanic eruption, earthquake, flood, and other Acts of God, misuse, neglect, unauthorized repair, damage from improper installation, broken antenna or marred cabinet, incorrect line voltage, missing or altered serial nmbers, sonic boom vibrations, electromagnetic radiation from nuclear blasts, customer adjustments that are not covered in this disclaimer, and incidents owing to airplane crash, ship sinking, motor vehicle accidents, leaky roof, broken glass, falling rocks, Democrats, mud slides, forest fire, flying projectiles, or dropping the item. Do not bend, fold, mutilate, or spindle. Do not place near flammable or magnetic source. Do not puncture, incinerate, or store above 120 degrees Fahrenheit. Do not stamp. Use other side for additional listings. Do not use while operating a motor vehicle or heavy equipment. Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and may or may not be the opinion of Free Republic or its operators. Do not write below this line. Documents are provided "as is" without any warranties expressed or implied. Don't quote me on anything. Don't quote me on that. We collect no personal information about you, other than the entire contents of your hard drive. Driver does not carry cash. By posting messages, uploading files, inputting data, sending content and artwork to the Company or engaging in any other form of communication (individually or collectively "Communications") to the Company Web Site, you hereby grant to Company a perpetual, worldwide, irrevocable, unrestricted, non-exclusive, royalty free license to use, copy, license, sublicense, adapt, distribute, display, publicly perform, reproduce, transmit, modify, edit and otherwise exploit such Communications, in all media now known or hereafter developed. Drop in any mailbox. Edited for television. Employees and their families are not eligible. Falling rock. Unauthorized attempts to upload or change information; to defeat or circumvent security measures; or to utilize this system for other than its intended purposes are prohibited. First pull up, then pull down. You are responsible for obtaining access to the Service and that access may involve third party fees (such as Internet service provider or airtime charges). You are responsible for those fees, including those fees associated with the display or delivery of advertisements. In addition, you must provide and are responsible for all equipment necessary to access the Service. Closed Captioning is now available for both daytime and primetime shows. Flames redirected to /dev/null. For a limited time only. For external use only. We may enter the information you send into an electronic database, to share with our attorneys and investigators involved in law enforcement or policy-making and with our advertisers. For off-road use only. For office use only. For recreational use only. Do not disturb. Freshest if eaten before date on carton. Hand wash only, tumble dry on low heat. If a rash, redness, irritation, or swelling develops, discontinue use. If condition persists, consult your physician. If defects are discovered, do not attempt to fix them yourself, but return to an authorized service center. Translations of any materials into language other than English is intended solely as a convenience to the non-English-reading public. If ingested, do not induce vomiting, if symptoms persist, consult a doctor. Keep away from open flames and avoid inhaling fumes. Keep away from sunlight, pets, and small children. Keep cool; process promptly. Limit one-per-family, please. Limited time offer, call now to ensure prompt delivery. List at least two alternate dates. List each check separately by bank number. List was current at time of printing. Lost ticket pays maximum rate. May be too intense for some viewers. Must be 18 to enter. No Canadian coins. No alcohol, dogs or horses. Do not sit on changing table. No anchovies unless otherwise specified. No animals were harmed in the production of these documents. No money down. No other warranty expressed or implied. No passes accepted for this engagement. No postage necessary if mailed in the United States. No preservatives added. No purchase necessary. No salt, MSG, artificial color or flavor added. No shoes, no shirt, no service, no kidding. No solicitors. No substitutions allowed. No transfers issued until the bus comes to a complete stop. No user-serviceable parts inside. Not affiliated with the American Red Cross or other such scams. Not liable for damages due to use or misuse. Not recommended for children. Not responsible for direct, indirect, incidental or consequential damages resulting from any defect, error or failure to perform. Not the Beatles. Objects in mirror may be closer than they appear. A "toy Yoda" is not to be confused with a Toyota. Privacy not assured. Do not allow children to play in dryers. Fines double in work zones. One size fits all. Many suitcases look alike. No ticket, no laundry. Other copyright laws for specific entries apply wherever noted. Other restrictions may apply. Package sold by weight, not volume. Parental advisory - explicit lyrics. Penalty for private use. Place stamp here. Please remain seated until the ride has come to a complete stop. Possible penalties for early withdrawal. Post office will not deliver without postage. Beverages labeled "Hot" may be hot. Postage will be paid by addressee. Prerecorded for this time zone. Please remain seated until we stop at the gate. Price does not include taxes. Processed at location stamped in code at top of carton. You have the right to remain silent. This is a “No Smoking” flight. Quantities are limited while supplies last. Read at your own risk. Record additional transactions on back of previous stub. Replace with same type. Reproduction strictly prohibited. Restaurant package, not for resale. Return to sender, no forwarding order on file, unable to forward. Ribbed for your pleasure. Please pick up after your pet. This site is protected by various provisions of Title 18, U.S. Code. Safety goggles may be required during use. Sanitized for your protection. Sealed for your protection, do not use if the safety seal is broken. If a copyright is indicated on a photo, graphic, or any other material, permission to copy these materials must be obtained from the original source. See label for sequence. Shading within a garment may occur. Sign here without admitting guilt. Simulated picture. For site security purposes and to ensure that this service remains available to all users, we employ software programs to monitor traffic to identify unauthorized attempts to upload or change information, or otherwise cause damage. In the event of authorized law enforcement investigations, and pursuant to any required legal process, information from these sources may be used to help identify an individual. Slightly enlarged to show detail. Slightly higher west of the Rockies. Slippery when wet. Smoking these may be hazardous to your health. Reference here to any specific commercial products, process, service, manufacturer, or company does not constitute its endorsement or recommendation by the US Government or HHS. Some assembly required. Do not send cash. Some equipment shown is optional. Some of the trademarks mentioned in this product appear for identification purposes only. Remove foil before insertion. Subject to FCC approval. You must be present to win. Subject to change without notice. Substantial penalty for early withdrawal, possible loss of consortium. Text may contain material some readers may find objectionable, parental guidance is advised. The information provided using this web site is only intended to be general summary information to the public. It is not intended to take the place of either the written law or regulations. Text used in these documents is made from 100% recycled electrons and magnetic particles. This is not an offer to sell securities. Not valid in Texas nor the United States. This offer is void where prohibited, taxed, or otherwise restricted. This product is meant for educational purposes only. Times approximate. Unix is a registered trademark of AT&T. Use only as directed. Use only in a well-ventilated area. User assumes full liabilities. Void where prohibited. We have sent the forms which seem right for you. You need not be present to win. Your canceled check is your receipt. Opinions expressed here (and perhaps elsewhere) are not necessarily those of the company nor the crew of the Mobius Triangle, nor of ship’s cat Thud, and may be, in fact, not valid otherwise, and to protect the innocence of said crew are thus not expressed here. Your mileage may vary. The refund check is in the mail.

A couple had been married for over 60 years. They were sitting at the breakfast table one morning when the wife says, "Just think, fifty years ago we were sitting here at this breakfast table together."

"I know," the old man said. "We were probably sitting here naked as jaybirds fifty years ago."

"Well," Granny snickered. "Let's relive some old times."

Whereupon the two stripped to the buff and sat down at the table. "You know, honey," the little old lady breathlessly replied, "My nipples are as hot for you today as they were sixty years ago."

"I wouldn't be surprised," replied Gramps. "One's in your coffee and the other is in your oatmeal."

Get Out Of My Classroom!

A young female teacher was giving an assignment to her 6th grade class one day. It was a large assignment so she started writing high up on the chalkboard. Suddenly there was a giggle from one of the boys in the class. She quickly turned and asked, "What's so funny, Pat?"

"I just saw one of your garters!"

"Leave my classroom immediately," she yells, "I don't want to see you for three days!" The teacher turns back to the chalkboard. Realizing she had forgotten to title the assignment, she reaches to the very top of the chalkboard. Suddenly there
is an even louder giggle from another male student. She quickly turns and asks, "What's so funny, Billy?"

"I just saw both of your garters!"

Again, she says, "Leave my classroom immediately! This time the punishment is more severe, I don't want to see you for three weeks!" Embarrassed and frustrated, she drops the eraser when she turns around again. So she bends over to pick it up. This time there is an burst of laughter from another male student. She quickly turns to see Johnny leaving the classroom. "Where do you think you're going?" she asks.

"From what I just saw, my school days are over!"

Two Arabs are sitting in a Gaza Strip bar chatting over a pint of fermented goat's milk.

One pulls his wallet out and starts flipping through pictures and they start reminiscing.

"This is my oldest son, he's a martyr." "You must be so proud" says the other.

"This is my second son. He is a martyr also." "A fine looking young man", replies his friend.

After a pause and a deep sigh, the second Arab says wistfully, "They blow up so fast, don't they?"

Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.