OFST Ping.
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Potato Prostitute
Two little potatoes are standing
on the street corner. One is a
prostitute.
How can you tell which one is the prostitute?
It's the one with the little sticker that says...
I - DA - HO
I took the item away from her and I asked her not to do that.
"Why?" my daughter asked.
"Because it's been laying outside, you don't know where it's been, it's dirty and probably has germs" I replied.
At this point, my daughter looked at me with total admiration and asked, "Wow! How do you know all this stuff?"
"Uh," ...I was thinking quickly,"All moms know this stuff. It's on the Mommy Test. You have to know it, or they don't let you be a Mommy."
We walked along in silence for 2 or 3 minutes, but she was evidently pondering this new information.
"OH...I get it!" she beamed, "So if you don't pass the test you have To be the daddy."
"Exactly" I replied back with a big smile on my face.
A guy was in a Dublin bar, having a Guinness. Sitting next to him are two guys, in a loud and excited discussion. He listens in...
"So where you from?", asks one.
Dublin!, says the other.
Dublin? Imagine that? Me too. St. Mary's parish, in fact!"
"St. Mary's? My God! What a coincidence! I'm a St Mary's boy myself. I don't suppose you know where Church Street is then?
Do I know it? I was raised on Church Street!!!!!!!
By Jesus. Imagine that!!! I was raised on Church Street me self!!
About this time, the guy at the end of the bar asks the bar tender, "What's the kerfuffle with them two?"
"Them?, says the bartender? "Oh that's the O'Reilly twins, drunk again!"
An 8-year-old girl went to her grandfather, who was working in the yard and asked him, "Grampa, what is sex?" The grandfather was surprised that she would ask such a question, but decided that if she's old enough to know to ask the question, then she's old enough to get a straight answer.
Steeling himself to leave nothing out, he proceeded to tell her all about human reproduction and the joys and responsibilities of intercourse.
When he finished explaining, the little girl was looking at him with her mouth hanging open, eyes wide in amazement. Seeing the look on her face, the grandfather asked her, "Why did you ask this question, honey?"
The little girl replied, "Grandma says that dinner will be ready in just a couple of secs."