Posted on 02/20/2005 8:16:41 PM PST by lightman
before or after you found your penis?
I wonder at what point he thought, "What have I gotten myself into....?"
I woke up this morning with a bad hangover
And my penis was missing again.
This happens all the time.
It's detachable.
This comes in handy a lot of the time.
I can leave it home, when I think it's gonna get me in trouble,
or I can rent it out, when I don't need it.
But now and then I go to a party, get drunk,
and the next morning I can't for the life of me
remember what I did with it.
First I looked around my apartment, and I couldn't find it.
So I called up the place where the party was,
they hadn't seen it either.
I asked them to check the medicine cabinet
'cause for some reason I leave it there sometimes
But not this time.
So I told them if it pops up to let me know.
I called a few people who were at the party,
but they were no help either.
I was starting to get desperate.
I really don't like being without my penis for too long.
It makes me feel like less of a man,
and I really hate having to sit down every time I take a leak.
After a few hours of searching the house,
and calling everyone I could think of,
I was starting to get very depressed,
so I went to the Kiev, and ate breakfast.
Then, as I walked down Second Avenue towards St. Mark's Place,
where all those people sell used books and other junk on the street,
I saw my penis lying on a blanket
next to a broken toaster oven.
Some guy was selling it.
I had to buy it off him.
He wanted twenty-two bucks, but I talked him down to seventeen.
I took it home, washed it off,
and put it back on. I was happy again. Complete.
People sometimes tell me I should get it permanently attached,
but I don't know.
Even though sometimes it's a pain in the ass,
I like having a detachable penis.
Bob it?
Boy, no kidding!
Interesting that they never print the guy's name. Ah, the shame, the shame....
After removing the toilet from the floor and carrying it to the front yard where I turned it upside down and found the source of her distress, I didn't have the heart to punish her even though I had to cut the hard shaft in two to remove it and free the now worthless thing; I gave a bit of thought to re-gluing it but I knew it would just re-attract her once again so I went across the street to the hardware store and bought a flimsy soft plastic thing that was as harmless as it was prophylactic.
I threw what was left of the rigid rod in the trashcan by the bin where the screws were stored.
Again?
Sick! I wouldn't be surprised if Gloria Allred defends this b***h!
It won't be long now.
WOW........That gotta hurt
I can imagine the initial response from the water dept!
"You want Us to do What"?
U-M study: Why men are attracted to subordinate women
University of Michigan News Service ^ | Dec. 8, 2004 | U Mich
Posted on 12/21/2004 3:59:39 PM PST by beavus
http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/1306188/posts
Why White Men Prefer Asian Women
Toogood Reports ^ | Wednesday, October 24, 2001; 12:01 a.m. EST | Fred Reed
Posted on 10/24/2001 7:49:08 AM PDT by LiveFree2000
http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-chat/555526/posts
I had a girl try to run over me with her car after a breakup once (well not really, she just burned off back and forth in front of my house, then veered at me when I came out), but what's with all these guys lately stupid enough to have their valuables out when breaking up with a psycho-babe?
Let me know how that works out. Back in our younger days, that was the only way I could get Ms. Fox to shut-up and go to sleep.
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