The Shocking Real Reason Hillary Collapsed!

Weekly World News ^ | Feb 14, 2005 | Lacey Mason

[batenkaitos]

Sen. Hillary Clinton blamed her collapse at a New York fundraiser on a stomach virus but Weekly World News has learned the shocking real reason she swooned and hit the deck -- the sexy thong panties Bill gave her for Christmas were WAY too tight and cut off the blood supply to her head!

That's the word from highly-placed sources in the Clinton camp who say the former first lady "was just asking for trouble" when she didn't exchange the teeny-tiny red silk undies for a pair of he billowing white "granny panties" she normally wears.

[batenkaitos]

Actually, this article raises an interesting point: Why DO so many politicians have saggy rear ends? Get to the gym, people.

[NEBUCHADNEZZAR1961]

Actually, I'd rather not even have the image of her wearing a thong brought to my mind, thank you very much!!!

[verity]

Something like an elephant wearing a slingshot?

[batenkaitos]

That doesn't make sense, given the whole Republican/Elephant - Democrat/Donkey thing...

[BenLurkin]

"billowing" mind you.

[verity]

I did not say it was a pleasant image. ;~)

[areafiftyone]

It's all true - it's been confirmed by Bat Boy:

[EagleUSA]

Actually one of her assitance broke the word to her that Billy had been having an affair.....major shock!!!!

[Reaganesque]

Visual: Think rubber band + marshmallow.

[uvular]

'She hit the floor, the thong popped, and she regained consciousness'-haha!

On a somewhat related note, I saw an episode of Globetrekker where a shopkeeper of an exclusive bikini shop was bragging about their celebrity clientele. She said Bill Clinton had bought 2. Now ya know they weren't for Hillary...

[mozarky2]

That image just caused ME to collapse!

[Yo-Yo]

Saw this on another thread but thought it was aprropriate here.

[Argh]

hardeeharhar ping

[xsmommy]

one of the other tabloids in the supermarket had her looking especially ghastly around the time of her collapse and had the headline saying WAS HILLARY POISONED? trying to make it seem like the poor Ukrainian dude looking bad due to dioxin. my kids pointed it out to me and we roared and said, no, no poison, unfortunately she really does look that hideous ALL the time...

[xsmommy]

"The only reason she wore that skimpy little thing was to give Bill a rise," continues the pal. "I told her if he she really wants to turn him on, all she has to do is pop on a beret, smear red lipstick all over her face -- and hand him a cigar."

Oh lordy....

[martin_fierro]

Gotta love WWN.

[TheGrimReaper]

I'm not buying this story...

What likely really happened, IMO:
Hildebeast's last victim was anemic, and the 3 pints of blood she sucked out of 'em just wasn't adequately nourishing for the Queen of Darkness.

Think about it... have you ever actually seen her reflection in a mirror??

[TheGrimReaper]

[areafiftyone]

The shocker is he was having an affair with Bat Boy.

[The Sons of Liberty]

My theory is that she was drunk.