Actor Tom Sizemore fails drug test with fake penis

Actor Tom Sizemore has been jailed for violating his probation by failing a drug test after he was caught trying to use a prosthetic penis to fake the results, a Los Angeles County prosecutor says.

Sizemore, 43, who played a battle-hardened sergeant in the war movie "Saving Private Ryan," was placed in custody on Thursday. He was ordered to remain behind bars until a hearing on February 24, unless he posts $25,000 (13,500 pound) bond, Deputy District Attorney Sean Carney said on Friday.

Last month, Judge Antonio Baretto had agreed to allow Sizemore to travel to Cambodia to shoot a new film on condition that he pass a drug test every day prior to his departure.

Carney said the actor's failed attempt to fake his drug test results came on the first day of the new requirement.

The actor is required to undergo random drug tests as a condition of probation for his convictions on separate charges of methamphetamine possession and beating his ex-girlfriend, former Hollywood madam Heidi Fleiss.

During Thursday's proceedings, prosecutors told Judge Baretto that Sizemore failed three drug tests in three days, the first after he was caught using a fake penis sewn into his boxer shorts and filled with a clean urine sample kept warm by a heating pack.

Carney said the ruse was revealed when the temperature of the sample proved too cool to have come from Sizemore's body, and he was asked to remove his pants.

According to prosecutors, Sizemore had been caught once before trying to use a similar device, sold over the Internet under the brand name the Whizzinator, and had failed drug tests on at least five occasions.

Carney said two drug tests on the days following the fake penis incident showed Sizemore had methamphetamine in his system.

During the hearing, Sizemore's lawyer told the court that his client was destitute, living in a garage in Whittier, California, and that he was an expectant father, Carney told Reuters.

But Baretto told Sizemore that his drug use was "out of control," adding, "I had hoped and wanted to see a positive performance."

Hey man if there's a market there's a product that'll find it.

I hope Tom has a good publicist, it's goin' to take some work to live this one down.

It's too bad, I like Sizemore. He's a good actor. I hope there's a come back. Unfortunately this is pretty high on the Geek O Meter.

That's pretty funny!

I once had a boss who would only accept things the male paramedics told him about whether we needed a repair on one of our ambulances.

I (being the only female paramedic) called Mike and told him that Medic One needed to go to the shop. I gave him a whole list of things that I found wrong with it. Instead of believing me, he asked me to go get one of the guys to look at it.

He told Mike the EXACT same thing I did, and Mike said, "Oh, well, we need to take it in".

I was furious, but good natured about it and I asked him why he didn't believe me. He just said guys are better at this stuff. So I told him I was sorry that I didn't have a penis so I could be a more useful employee.

The next day, I showed up with a little bitty tiny penis (an eraser actually) on a string around my neck.

I told him it apparently didn't matter how big of one you had as long as you have one. He just about wet himself laughing.

Then at lunch I deliberately looked right at him, pulled the "necklace" out of my shirt and popped it in my mouth, telling him that it was great that I could put mine in my mouth and he couldn't!

He NEVER made me go get one of the guys to check out a mechanical problem again!

Luckily, this was 23 years ago. One of us would have been in big trouble nowadays.

It was all in good fun at the time.

Heavens I hope I don't get in trouble for that story. I was much wilder then.

Reminds me of a joke from the days of the draft...

A college student received his draft notice and wanted to get himself classified as 4F, so he asked a friend in pre-med to get him a urine sample of a diabetic. At the draft board, he managed to pass the sample off as his own. Shortly thereafter, he was called by one of the administrators. "Well, I've got good news and bad news for you," said the corpsman. "The bad news is, you've got diabetes. The good news is, you're pregnant."

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