Is that a whizinator in your pocket or are you happy to see me?
A college student received his draft notice and wanted to get himself classified as 4F, so he asked a friend in pre-med to get him a urine sample of a diabetic. At the draft board, he managed to pass the sample off as his own. Shortly thereafter, he was called by one of the administrators. "Well, I've got good news and bad news for you," said the corpsman. "The bad news is, you've got diabetes. The good news is, you're pregnant."