The Koror Tribe: Caryn, Coby, Gregg, Ian, Janu, Jennifer, Katie, Tom, Willard
The Ulong Tribe: Angie, Bobby Jon, Ibrehem, James, Stephenie
The Losers: Ashlee, Jeff, Jolanda, Jonathan, Kim, Wanda
Its yet one more night with Ulong returning from Tribal Council. Bobby Jon tends to the fire. Kim is upset that her cuddly bunny, Jeff is gone. The rest try to figure out why they are losing all the time. Kim states that its because they are a “weak ass tribe.”
Next morning, at Koror, Katie and Jen fetch treemail. Katie reads it while we are left wondering if Jenn will actually say anything this episode. Jennifer has the sole distinction of being the first Survivor contestant to appear on three episodes (so far) without having one “confessional” to her name. (A “confessional”, for those in Rio Linda, is a comment made to the camera and not to other players or Probst.) When lo and behold, we are treated to Jenn’s FIRST confessional. Of course, she doesn’t say anything important, just an almost verbatim repeat of the treemail. But it does count as a confessional! You go girl!
Back at camp, Koror discusses who shall be the rep. Ian volunteers Gregg. Coby, Janu and Caryn volunteer themselves. Tom settles the dispute by anointing Ian as tribal representative while Willard grouses that nobody listens to him! Meanwhile, Coby lets slip how the alliances truly are set up at Koror. Katie, Jenn, Gregg, Tom and Ian are one clear alliance, while Willard, Janu, Caryn and himself are by default the other alliance.
Meanwhile, over at Ulong, since they decided (back on day two) that all decisions will be done by committee and not by a “leader”, it should come as no surprise that they cannot pick a representative, which infuriates Probst later in the show, but I’m getting ahead of myself.
Back at Koror, Probst arrives in a Home Depot landing craft. As the anointed Koror representative, Ian greets him and Probst explains what’s going on. For the challenge the tribes have to build a bathroom (a toilet and shower) using the materials provided to them and six tools of Ian’s choosing. Tomorrow, Jessie, the head of the Survivor construction department, will judge each tribes’ bathroom and the winning tribe will receive a shelter built by Jessie and the rest of the Survivor construction department. Since they have three extra players, Ian chooses Jenn, Coby, and Janu to sit out this challenge.
Over at Ulong, the tribe is out fishing. Probst arrives and is infuriated that they haven’t picked a representative yet. Everyone looks dumbfounded and almost as if on cue, they all point to James. Probst goes through the same explanation regarding the challenge. James decides to make the most of this limelight by explaining that (due to his background in construction) he and he alone can explain what each different tool is used for. Like we can’t figure this out for ourselves.
Back at Koror, Willard is still bellyaching about nobody paying any attention to him and how both Ian and Tom are very careful to say something positive about each member of the tribe. This is followed by Caryn complaining about how everyone listens to Tom. This gives even more credence to the alliance split at Koror.
Back at Ulong, James lets the leadership role go straight to his red-neck head. The only thing this accomplishes, is alienating the women of Ulong even more than they already are. Angie, figures that since her landlord “don’t fix nuthin,” she does, James should keep his leadership skills to himself. Everyone agrees though that Kim is pretty much useless and this is confirmed by James commenting on how Kim has “finally found something she likes to do, sitting on her ass and sewing.”
Everyone at Ulong if pretty much acting like the losers they are becoming.
The next morning, Probst and Jessie arrive and Tom leads them on a tour of their bathroom. Ian demonstrates the shower and Probst and Jessie both seem impressed. Koror thinks they have got this challenge “in the bag.”
Next scene has Probst and Jessie arriving at Ulong. James leads the tour, and the first thing you notice is a bit of graffiti on the toilet seat that says “For a good time call Jeff Probst” Here’s a hint, Ulong. It’s bad form to insult the host of the show and still expect to win the challenge. What were you thinking? As if to drive the point home, Probst informs them “if the construction crew doesn’t show up by sundown they should have a pretty good idea they’re not coming back.” Could he be any more subtle? But sure enough, Ulong spends most of the rest of the day, looking out to sea for a boat that would never arrive.
Koror, not only wins the challenge, and gets an awesome new shelter, but gets to celebrate with champagne as well. While over at Ulong, the sun is setting on the horizon, and on their hopes of winning the challenge.
After the commercial break, it’s morning and Bobby Jon retrieves the treemail calling them to Immunity Challenge. Probst explains the challenge. On a floating pedestal, two Survivors at a time, will square off in a sumo style battle. To win you have to knock your opponent off with the aid of the large padded bag you’ve been given as a weapon. Two rules, you have to keep two hands on the bag at all times and you can’t use your feet as a weapon. Since this is a man against man and woman against woman type challenge, Koror has to sit out two men and one woman. They choose Ian, Katie, and Willard. Probst tells them that the first tribe with six victories wins immunity.
So that I won’t bore you to tears, here is the short of it.
Round One: Bobby Jon vs. Tom. Tom wins. Koror 1, Ulong 0
Round Two: Stephenie vs. Jennifer. Stephenie wins, Koror 1, Ulong 1
Round Three: Ibrehem vs. Gregg. Gregg wins, Koror 2, Ulong 1
Round Four: Angie vs. Caryn. Angie wins, Koror 2, Ulong 2
Round Five: James vs. Coby, Coby wins (shocking everybody even Probst!) Koror 2, Ulong 2
Round Six: Kim vs. Janu, Janu wins, Koror 4, Ulong 2
Round Seven: Bobby Jon vs. Tom again. Again Tom wins, Koror 5, Ulong 2.
Round Eight: Stephenie vs. Jenn again. Again Steph wins, Koror 5, Ulong 3
Round Nine: Ibrehem vs. Gregg again. This time Ibrehem wins. Koror 5, Ulong 4
Round 10: Angie vs. Caryn again. Again Angie wipes the platform with Caryn. Koror 5, Ulong 5
Round 11: James vs. Coby again. This is it. The steel worker against the hair stylist. The redneck against the poofter. The winner of this match decides who wins the ugly idol. Probst says go and after a couple of test shoves, Coby again trimphs over James. Koror again wins Immunity, and Ulong goes down in the record books as being the worst tribe in Survivor history.
Needless to say, Ulong is very upset they lost immunity yet again. James tries to explain away his dismal failure by saying “how it hurts that he was whooped by a homosexual and all but a lot of gay folks are strong because they work out at the gym and all.” It’s plain to see his humiliation is a vast weight to carry, so I’m not gonna pile on.
Back at camp, Steph and Angie gloat about how the girls “dominated” and how the guys “got their butts kicked.” And how the women should stick together and boot one of the guys so the gals can maintain the number advantage. But after all is said and done, complete with Probst’s sarcastic comment about keeping Ulong’s seats warm at Tribal Council, the vote comes down to 5 to 1 for Kim joining her cuddly bunny Jeff at Loser Lodge.
Now, for those of you who cannot or will not view the videos from the SeeBS website, here is a transcript of what each player said (at least as much is can be determined) while voting and Kim’s final words.
Ibrehem (Votes Kim): (he says nothing)
Stephenie (Votes Kim): Kim, you know I love you but I am just doing what's best for the team, I don't ever want to have to come back here again. So, we got to keep the strongest and I can't wait to see you in the real world, bye!
Bobby Jon (Votes Kim): I think that you have proved a lot and I am proud of ya for staying strong I just think right now this is the best thing.
Angie (Votes Kim): I don't really think there is anything to say about this, it's pretty obvious.
James (Votes Kim): Kim, you're a good girl, you just don't put much effort into the tribe lately, sorry.
Kim (Votes James): My vote is for James, James just be wary of dictating a little too much.
Kim's Final Words
I had a lot of fun playing Survivor, I wished it had lasted quite a bit longer but unfortunately, I guess tonight was my night to go. I am a little concerned with the tribe, it seems to be imploding from the inside and it's not external factors that are tearing us apart.
And it kind of puzzles me to why nobody has been alarmed by James lately and tonight if anything, he has proven himself to be not necessarily the most trustworthy of people and a little bit of cocky to say so easily that he is going to be here for the next several weeks.
He was the first to call out Jolanda and say that she was trying to be the dictator and the leader, and telling everybody what to do, we're waking up in the morning, we're going to go fishing, and what not. And James has so easily taken over this position, and he covers it and smothers it with his Southern boy charm, his cute little accent, and his funny little jokes but nobody seems to see it. And he is going to be out there to stab every single person in the back, everybody knows the only thing he cares about is getting to the merge and being there for himself. He's not really a team player.
Everybody else on the team, they're wonderful. Bobby Jon is a little nutty at times and I think he needs to slow down but in some ways, it's almost that's what is imploding the team, we're so gung ho on working all the time, never sitting down, and taking a break, and then we get to these challenges and everybody is thoroughly exhausted and we're getting our asses whipped by a bunch of people who shouldn't be whooping our asses. And there is nothing more you can say along those lines.
I hope the girls, I hope Steph and Angie really stick up for themselves, and not let them be overpowered by the guys because lord knows the guys have proven they are nothing special on our tribe and I really hope that in the end, somebody from Ulong wins and not somebody from Koror.
I've taken away one of the greatest experiences ever. I never could have imagined in a million years that my body can handle this, without food, without shelter, without, I mean even without a heater or AC, I mean relying on nature in itself. And it's definitely been an experience of a lifetime that you can't get anywhere else in the world.
I think I learned how, I've always underestimated my intelligence and my ability to see things with a clear focus, and I think that being in this game it has allowed me to finally embrace who I am, and the mental abilities that I have to see people for who they are, and not for their glamorous or funny exteriors but what's deep inside of them.
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Again, as a reminder, due to the NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament (a.k.a March Madness), the 5th and 6th episodes of Survivor; Palau will be broadcast on Wednesday instead of Thursday. That’s the 16th and 23rd. Episode 7 will resume regular Thursday night broadcasts on March 31st. Set your VCRs and TIVOs accordingly.
Take care,
"Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body,
but rather to skid in broadside,
thoroughly used up,
totally worn out,
and loudly proclaiming....
Wow, what a ride!"
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