A TCS Christmas Carol

TCS ^ | 12/23/04 | Douglas Kern

[macbee]

It's Christmas time, and that means it's time to enjoy A Christmas Carol, Charles Dickens' melancholy tale of a productive businessman who gets worked over by three meddling supernatural social workers one Christmas Eve, transforming him into a simpering socialist.

It's almost as sad as Star Wars, really.

A Christmas Carol had someone other than that crypto-commie Dickens written it. So, for your holiday enjoyment, I submit these re-imaginings of A Christmas Carol, as other authors might have depicted it:

[macbee]

Literally laugh-out-loud funny summaries "from" such luminaries as John Kerry, Ayn Rand, Jessica Simpson, and CBS News. Enjoy!

[pgkdan]

Jacques Chirac: Scrooge can't understand anything that happens when the Ghost of Christmas Future haunts him. It's all in Arabic.

Touche.

[dr_pat]

I liked:

Richard Dawkins: Ghosts don't exist. Scrooge does whatever he wants. Tiny Tim dies. Later, Scrooge dies. No one cares. The Christmas Carol meme lives on indefinitely.

Peter Singer: Same as Richard Dawkins, except that, seeing no reason to do otherwise, Scrooge eats Tiny Tim for Christmas dinner.

[x]

Some of these fall flat, but some are really inspired. The Kerry one isn't bad at all. I laughed out loud at the Shyamalan, Rand, and Libertarian Party versions.

[nopardons]

bttt