Posted on 12/17/2004 8:59:30 AM PST by TheBigB
Awright guys 'n gals 'n kats 'n kittens...time for another FRIDAY SILLINESS THREAD! Feel free to post jokes, silly stories, cartoons, beeber stunings, or even to IGNORE THIS THREAD!
To start things off...a picture of an adorable kitten!
Eh, next time maybe. : )
You ALWAYS do that! ;-)
Excuse me, but are all her parts in the proper place?
Last evening I was visiting my saintly mother to collect my mail and discussing with her the events of the day. We were talking about places we would like to go and eat as a family before dinner.
I remarked that it had been some years since I'd been to Red Lobster, and would like to go again.
I opened a Christmas card from a buddy in another state and guess what was in it? Scroll down........................
A gift certificate from Red Lobster...
"Boy, I feel safer now that she's behind bars. O.J. & Kobe are walking around but they take the one woman in America willing to cook and clean and work in the yard and haul her a** to jail."
Sweet cheeks,
If I see a set of puppies I know you are always nearby ;)
THANK YOU, THANK YOU, much appreciated!
Maude and Ethel were on their way to bingo at the senior center. Maude was driving.
They came to a red light and Maude ran it. Ethel decided not to say anything.
They came another red light and Maude ran it. Ethel looked at Maude, shrugged, and decided not to say anthing.
They cam to the third red light and Maude ran it. Ethel looked over at Maude and said "You know, that's the 3rd red light you've run?"
At which point Maude said, "Oh, am I driving?"
For anyone interested who has a line into santa, these are some of my top ten Christmas gift desires..
Arturo Fuente Opus X cigars
123 Lithium batteries for all my many surefire tactical flashlights..
Glenfiddich Gran Reserve Scotch...(it comes in the green bottle)
Stop this thread immediately! It's silly.
Bad Irish joke PING!
???
Not sure which one you mean.
Tomorrow is my birthday, I really hope he jumps out of my cake :)
Christmas Cookies
1 cup of water 1 tsp baking soda 1 cup of sugar 1 tsp salt 1 cup brown sugar 2 tsp lemon juice 4 large eggs 1 cup nuts 2 cups dried fruit 1 bottle Jose Cuervo Tequilla
Start by sampling the Cuervo to check quality.
Take a large bowl. Check the Cuervo again, to be sure it is of the highest quality. Pour one level cup; drink. Turn on the electric mixer. Beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl. Add one teaspoon of sugar. Beat again. At this point it's a good idea to make sure the Cuervo is still OK, so pour another cup; drink. Turn off the mixerer thingy. Break 2 leggs and add to the bowl and chuck in the cup of dried fruit. Pick the frigging fruit off floor. Mix on the turner. If the fried druit gets stuck in the beaterers just pry it loose with a drewscriver. Sample the Cuervo to check for tonsisticity. Next, sift two cups of salt, or something. Who giveshz a sheet? Check the Cuervo again. Now shift the lemon juice and strain your nuts. Add one table. Add a spoon of sugar, or somefink. Whatever you can find.
Greash the oven. Turn the cake tin 360 degrees and try not to fall over. Don't forget to beat off the turner. Finally, throw the bowl out the window, finish the Cose Juervo and make sure to put the stove in the dishwasher. CHERRY MISTMAS
Hilarious!
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