Why are coffeehouses over-run with DemocRATS?!?!? (Mod sets bongo aside, zots troll)

[CarolinaGOPer]

I live in a college town in North Carolina, and recently I went into a coffee shop to innocently purchase a cup of coffee. What I instead found was a veritable den of sin, filled with Marxists and DemocRATS. To wit:

-The entire place stunk of patchoulli -Patrons were reading 'Tropic of Cancer', 'The Communist Manifesto', and 'Stupid White Men' -- titles that I would never want my good G*d-fearing children getting a hippie's length away from (of course, not a Bible to be found) -Two women were kissing (of course, I could only tell they were women upon further inspection, if you catch my drift; they seemed to be wearing very comfortable shoes) -Someone was actually playing *bongos* in the corner -The combined annual income of the patrons was less than what I paid for my car

Why is it, dear Freepers, that coffeehouses are controlled by these liberals? Why can't family-loving, G*d-fearing, red-blooded Americans simply get a cup of coffee without having our values completely desecrated?!? Are there any conservative coffeehouses, where this ridicuolousness is not tolerated?

[Rebelbase]

You said at #80 "I am a long-time Free Republic poster".

Yet you can't recall your previous screenname? And we don't call ourselves "Free Republic posters", either.

[small voice in the wilderness]

WHERE you buy the Cuisinart Coffeemaker is the crucial part. If you buy at most stores, the manufacturer's warranty applies. However, if you buy at Williams-Sonoma, they have a lifetime warranty on your purchases. If it breaks, take it back, they will replace it. That is their policy. I know they are expensive stores, but one coffeemaker purchase lasting the rest of your life cannot be beat.

[The_Victor]

If I owned the coffee shop, that would not be allowed -- same with the bongos.

That sounds sounds like a business plan. Do you have your suppliers line up yet?

[Tijeras_Slim]

If you were a FReeper in good standing, and not banned, your previous name should be here. Do be so kind as to enlighten us.

http://www.freerepublic.com/perl/profiles2?m=member-list;location=81

[Tijeras_Slim]

Thanks for the info, but I've basically worn the thing out. I don't think a warranty, no matter how good, applies to stuff that just plain gets old.

[TheBigB]

Cute comments, but not in any way related to my question. How, exactly, are people reading in a coffeehouse and playing bongos a huge affront to your Christian values?

[Clioman]

Maybe you should buy your coffee at McDonalds?

[Tijeras_Slim]

Scared me - big time.....

At the cost of several wine glasses, I've learned to keep the cat off the counter when I fire the thing off.

[AlexW]

"They were reading most of the same books when the beatniks started the whole coffeehouse thing back in the late Fifties."

When I went off to the Univ. of Tennessee, back in 1963, there were no hippies at that time, but a few throwbacks to the beatnik days were some girls dressed in long black dresses, inhabiting the Presbyterian center's student club coffee house. They were reading anything heavy that they could find, along with ban the bomb books.
Needless to say, they were not very attractive ladies.

[Tijeras_Slim]

How, exactly, are people reading in a coffeehouse and playing bongos a huge affront to your Christian values?

Surely you remember Kerouac's Letter to the Bohemians Chapter 5 Verse 12?

[Darksheare]

"Guys, I don't remember my former handle, or I would have used it..."

It wouldn't happen to have been "Burkeman1", "JohnGalt", "OWK", "Asmodeus", or any other banned handle nwo, would it?

[MamaB]

Nope. I drink bottled water since our water tastes and smells like bleach. I add a little lemon to it and it is great.

[highlandbreeze]

Coffee-addict here too. I'm consevative and I LOVE Starbucks. Sorry

[TheBigB]

I'm guessing it's orange11

http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-religion/1135631/posts

[dansangel]

Coffee house blend has a special chemical in it that turns people into raving dimwits.

[timpad]

Concept shamelessly stolen from aMorePerfectUnion

Rate-a-Troll for CarolinaGOPer

Criterion	Your Score (1-10)	Comments
Creative use of imagery	10	Excellent, I can nearly smell the patchoulli from here!
Ability to divine income from appearance	10	Wow! And a whole room at a time!
Amount of work on a post we'll just ridicule	10	And still going, and going, and going...
Pretending to be conservative or a long-time FReeper	10	Tricky Troll!
Class warfare	8	Good, but likely too subtle for most of us family-loving, G*d-fearing, red-blooded Americans to detect.
Waiting long enough after sign-up to post	0	Same day. No good!
Naderite corporation-bashing	0	Not one rant against corporate coffee. Not one!
Bizarre facts	10	How long is a hippie?
Exclamation points	5	Only one, but four asterisks gets you a bonus!
Misspelled words	1	Try harder. To do otherwise would be ridicuolousness
Condescension while educating the ignorant evangelicals	10	Man, this one's on fire!

                                                                                             Total:  74   

WOO HOO! We've got one qualified for the Metal Round, where the RKBA comes in and hits 'em with manhole covers!

[Liberty Valance]

"Patrons were reading 'Tropic of Cancer', 'The Communist Manifesto', and 'Stupid White Men'"

Those weren't patrons...they were poltroons. This stage of childhood only lasts until they start paying taxes.

[Publius6961]

Simple: the lemming mentality...

[OSHA]

At the cost of several wine glasses, I've learned to keep the cat off the counter when I fire the thing off.

Thanks! The mental picture from that has made my day!

[dansangel]

I'm in a good mood today.

I'll say! :-)