If you insist!
If you insist!
Good morning, ladies!
Good morning, gentlemen!
Here's the link to the article you referenced:
http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/1291437/posts
Interesting topic - when we get back from all our errands today, I'll be curious to see how it went!
I missed that thread! I think because of our anonaminity online we say things we know we shouldn't. I was bottle-fed, my mom worked outside the home, we lived in a crappy neighborhood, and I went to public school, but my parents were great. We always had what we needed, most of all love and guidance, which are what REALLY make a great parent. THERE IS NO SET RULES FOR HOW TO BE A GREAT PARENT. You don't have to breastfeed, you don't have to stay at home, you don't have to homeschool.
Something similar was on Montel yesterday. We can say "just move", but who, in all honesty, could do that? Maybe that person can't afford to move. Maybe that family needs two incomes to survive.
We *love* to be judgemental, and only know our own lives and experiences. Unfortunatly, I think sometimes we lack empathy. Now that is a great thing to teach your children...
Oh. My. Gosh.
The hottest opprobrium is too cool for that attitude.
Changing topics to your larger theme: my own stance is to be judgmental, and charitable at the same time.
I think some choices are superior to others (HSing, SAHMing, for instance). But I also am too painfully aware that circumstances beyond our control often necessitate choices other than what we would make in different circumstances.
My central concerns would be twofold, I suppose:
1. Are the parents' values in the right place?
2. If they feel forced to make less-than-ideal choices, is it really unavoidable? Or is it because they have (falsely) adopted peripheral values (i.e. a certain material standard of living) as if they were central?
Dan
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Really, how can we possibly know the reaction of others to our comments before we post them ? We know next to nothing about them, or the variety of personal experiences each may have gone through, which would lead to their reactions.
And one comment from me can lead to a variety of reactions in others; some people will be happy to hear what I've said; some will be hurt, some will be indifferent. I've really no way of foretelling which reaction will come up beforehand.
I think a better tactic would be to just accept the emotional reactions that occur to us and to others, and not to take them personally in any way.
I had a run in with a very, very rude person earlier this week. Mind you, this was a topic about the National Christmas Tree.
This woman picked bits of my statements to use against me and said I knew nothing and I was hostile for using all caps to spell Christmas and Christ. I used CHRIST and CHRISTMAS in joy and celebration!
I became so upset that I straight out told her I thought she was rude and bossy. And although quite a few people expressed the same sentiments to her, I regret doing that. I may have hurt her feelings.
But, I really do not appreciate people using 3 words out of an entire paragraph to beat me over the head.
I need to learn the walk away method someone mentioned earlier.
I've been both - a stayathome homeschooling mom, and a working-send-the-kids-to-public-school-and-daycare mom. I home schooled long enough to get my son over hating school (as he did by the end of second grade); and my daughter a good start. A business failure made it necessary for me to go back to work, and my effectiveness as their teacher was diminishing. (Long story, suffice it to say, both my children were and still are way smarter than their mother!)
At a mother/daughter banquet when my daughter was about 13, the speaker went on and on about the failures of working moms to "be there" for their kids. My daughter leaned over and said, "You're always there for us, Mom. Don't pay any attention to her." We have to try to do the right thing for OUR family, not what others tell us is right. (I didn't go to another mother/daughter banquet for several years.)
TC, thanks for the link to the other thread.
I hope no one takes offense, because I certainly don't mean it that way. I have found the biggest bigots on FR are the holier-than-thou religious types. The rad-trad (thanks for that term, C!) are the absolute worse. I have seen them totally demolish some female posters with their my-way-or-the-highway attitude. I truly pity their families and their wives in particular.
Early Merry Christmas, all!
I'm a SAHM and have homeschooled our oldest, and we are very happy this way. But I am a homebody and it suits me.
Our school-age children go to our parish school, basically by choice, neither of them had any interest in homeschooling AT ALL. For the oldest, homeschooling was almost a necessity, her personality being what it is.
There are so many variables among children and families, and I would be the first to tell people, homeschooling is not for everyone.
I don't know why certain types of threads get so heated...the aforementioned thread wound up way off track and having very little to do with the original discussion!
I have concluded that the Free Republic Answers are:
Is there some way that we can be more supportive of the choices of other parents?
NO.
If that is not possible, could we at least try to be a little more constructive in our criticism?
HELL, no.
It's so easy to tear down, ain't it?
I prefer the method of finding out the "WHY" behind a person's situation. Someone might have a holy horror of asking doctors for help - what reason is there for it? You learn by asking (the Army uses the euphemism, "Interrogation"...)
Some people like to be insulting and classless. Just ignore them. Life's too short.
Some Freepers seriously lack in couth.