Posted on 11/12/2004 10:27:34 AM PST by crushelits
The following is supposedly an actual question given on a University of Washington chemistry mid-term. The answer by one student was so "profound" that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well.
Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?
Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant.
One student, however, wrote the following:
First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving.
As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different Religions that exist in the world today. Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell.
With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.
This gives two possibilities:
1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.
2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.
So which is it?
If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that, "it will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you", and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number 2 must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over. The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct...leaving only Heaven thereby proving the existence of a Divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting "Oh my God."
Ancient joke, though still funny.
bookmarked, its damn funny
I'd say both.
ROTHLMAO!! Thanks I needed that laugh!!
An oldie but a goodie for tech types.
"First we need to know whether Hell has mass, whether souls have mass, and whether the mass of Hell, if it has mass, necessarily increases with the addition of souls, if they have mass."
There's Mass in Hell.
Presided over by pedophile priests.
Would that make it "omnithermic"?
No.
May be an old joke, but I hadn't seen this variation. Funny no end..."Oh my God!!!"
Lol, I still remember this gag from my high school days. Thanks for the memories.
Hell exists outside the current scientific understanding of the universe. However, considering the souls that enter it invariably feel heat, if one were able to apply the laws of thermodynamics to it, it would be considered exothermic.
Nice diversion from the news of the day ping.
It's a scream, I agree. I sent it to my brainy Priest friend some three or four years ago. I still chuckle at it.
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It's only funny if you don't believe in the existence of Hell.
Needless to say, he received the only "A" in the class. :)
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