Posted on 10/28/2004 6:43:59 PM PDT by Sonar5
Hi all,
I need some help and I am fuming about this. Today an incident happened at my son's school that concerns me greatly.
He is in 4th Grade and is age nine. One of his friends brought a small pocket knife to school and allegedly showed it to my son and others at their lunch table. Apparently he did not open the blade, and quickly put it away. No one was threatened. They are all friends in scouts, church, or sports.
One of the other children after lunch, not mine, told a teacher about it. I get a phone call at about 1:15 stating my son was involved in an incident at school. I ask first is he ok, the administrator says yes.
She then explains that my son and others failed to tell an adult or teacher they saw someone else with a knife at school and that she questioned my son. I asked if he was threatened, and she replied no.
She stated the student who brought it would probably be expelled. I thought that was the end of it, since my son didn't bring the knife, no one was threatened, and my son, nor anyone else held it, nor was the blade even shown.
First off, these are 9 year olds. And I'm ok with the kid that told, and whatever happens to the kid that brought it happens. My son didn't feel it was serious.
My concern is the treatment of my son as having done something wrong.
My son got home about 3:40 or so, and I immediately asked him what happened, who was involved, was he threatened, did he or anyone else hold it, etc....
He then told me he was interrogated without my knowledge inside a closed room with only him and the administrator and talked to about what he did wrong by not telling an adult, asked questions, and the administrator was writing down the responses. Two other children who did not say anything were also subjected to this interrogation, seperately.
He and the two others were then pulled out of class before recess and during recess were taken to the office where they, without my knowledge were coerced into writing false statements stating they made bad choices by not telling an adult, and one other example of making a bad choice.
All three were told if they did not bring the form signed by a parent tomorrow, they would miss recess.
So, now my son is made out to have done something wrong. By the way, the administrator signed the form at the top.
My son was never advised of his rights to call us, and have us present, was never advised why he had to write the form, and we were never notified of the form until our son arrived home.
My son is in Scouting and considers a knife a tool, and knows the difference between showing something and getting threatened. He has also been trained in the proper use of a knife, a safety circle, etc... He knew what the student did was wrong, and he knew not to bring those types of items to school.
So what would you do.
We are not signing the form, and I talked to him about his rights, and the fact he did nothing wrong, the student who told did nothing wrong, the only one who did something wrong was the student who brought it, and the way he was treated.
I then went into explaining his rights to him, and about no longer answering any questions without us present.
So put yourself in my shoes, and ask what you would do. I felt the initial incident was no big deal, neither did my son at first. Now I feel my son and we as parents were violated in our rights, as well as our sons.
BTW - I tried calling the administrator who called earlier, and tried to tell her we were not returning the form, and we feel he shouldn't have to miss recess, and be punished, and she replied she didn't like my tone, and then stated the conversation is over, and hung up on me. Nice, huh?
Any help would be appreciated.
Regards, Sonar5
It happens in the Christian schools, too. There HAS to be a record, somewhere, of grades, test records (SAT, etc.), problems (biggies, not the little ones)...
Zoot alors! Je n'est parlez pas Francais!
Bad, was it really bad? Quelle horreur!
So let me get this straight. A teacher or administrator can't take a child aside and ask them questions in a disciplinary setting, and they can't assign the child to write what turns out to be a fairly good lesson about making poor choices, without a parent there. Actually, according to this parent, they were notified and knew about the incident.... But now, that they want the parent to sign indicating they've seen the note, that is also wrong?
I know kids have school records.... big deal.
Don't give up hope yet! Brad's school, public...he CAN give & receive hugs! WHOO HOOOOOO
That's right. It' oppression for there to be rules for nine year olds. Sheeesh.
Normally it's not a big deal.
I don't see this one as a big deal either.
I don't think society wants it, I think Lefties want it
Then let's agree to disagree!
BUT! Didja notice that you (probably) didn't think of sKerry for the whole thread? This is a VERY VERY GOOD THING!!!!!!! :-)
Until now ;~D
Seems our school isn't the only one then.
Last week our son was suspended half a day because he hit a girl that repeatedly tried to kick him in the groin.
She got suspended for half a day as well.
He got suspeneded for for touching her (behaving in an unsafe manner) AND for not just going to find one of the teachers. The incident took place outside at lunch.
The girl was suspended the half day for repeatedly trying to kick him in the groin. She messed up by telling the assistant principal that it was an accident. The assistant principal said you don't accidentally try to kick someone in the groin.
I told my son he did the right thing. Had he merely looked for an adult/teacher, chances are since the girl hadn't connected with her kick, and since it would have been his word against hers, chances are that nothing would have been done.
See they got half day suspensions because this was totally out of character for both of them. My son is a 4.0 student and member of the honor society.
I don't like the idea that he was suspended for defending himself but the girl got what she deserved.
See that evening was a band/choir concert at school. Because of her suspension she was not allowed on school property. She is in choir and her failure to show at the concert givers her an automatic E for her choir grade for the end of the first marking period of the school year. That's gotta hurt considering she was an A/B student.
My son isn't in band nor choir so he keeps his 4.0 status for this first marking period. I still think it sort of stinks that he has a half day suspension on his record for defending himself, but oh well.
That's a horrible thing to teach a kid on both counts. Kids should be taught to obey common-sense rules, to abhor betrayal, and to defy and rebel against rules that are wrong. A wise, if more profane, jocon307 writes:
Rules were made to be broken, especially the bullshit rules of those Commie Facists of the Teachers Unions, one rule to rule us all!
Chuck Yeager, one of America's finest and smartest heros, wrote: "Rules are for people who aren't willing to make up their own." That kind of sentiment, my friend, was the origin of this finest nation on God's earth!
You are right on that -- I stand corrected.
Worth seriously considering. Upthread I tried to make the same point. Most parents don't want to teach their child it's OK to hang out with and protect and defend kids who break the rules, even if he thinks they're cool. One of these days, the kid's going to face this situation again.
HOTD, I think here is the concern, as I see it, as a mom. She WAS contacted, and thought the thing was resolved. She gets home and finds that her son was subjected to some quasi-facist re-education and interrogation session and made to write-out his confession of wrong doing. And, no, it hasn't been established on this thread that the child had some obligation to report the knife. Then Sonar is being asked to give her parental impramateur to this, under threat of punishment to her son.
This stinks. I don't know if you've dealt with any school administrators lately, but as one who has I will say they are people who must be watched closely and beaten back often, because they are bullies. And it is true what one of the other posters alluded too, Zero Tolerence has become a system in which these overpaid (sorry, but the failure of the public schools makes just about everyone in them over paid, sorry, but ALL the rest of us would have been fired) nincompoops can go after 9 year olds with (CLOSED) pocket knives, and continue to ignore the sleeping Dylan Klebolds in their midst, but demonstrate they are DOING SOMETHING.
They are full of themselves and BS, and I am glad to be done with the lot of them. And I had a pretty good kid, but, you know, as they say "high sprited". And I will also note that I'm partly German and therefore as big an obeyer of "authority" as one is likely to find, and this is still my opinion of these school admin types. Yeah, I know they have a hard job, but I also realize that all the stuff that makes it harder comes from THEIR SIDE! They are the ones who WANT to teach children about sex, it is their spritual brethern, the trial lawyers who want to sue everyone for everything all the time.
I SAY THEY ARE THE HEART & SOUL OF THE DEMOCRAT PARTY, AND I SAY TO HELL WITH 'EM!
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