Kerry Sorry for Remark About Cheney's Lesbian Child (Satire)

Scrappleface.com ^ | October 14, 2004 | Scott Ott

[The Loan Arranger]

John Forbes Kerry, father of two heterosexual daughters, today apologized for referring to the sexual preference of Vice President Dick Cheney's daughter during last night's final presidential debate.

"There's nothing wrong with being one of God's homosexual children," said Mr. Kerry, an openly-heterosexual veteran of foreign war who is also a U.S. Senator, "And far be it from me to pry into the private life of Mr. Cheney's lesbian child, who is gay and a homosexual. People can't choose whom they will love, and so I should not have mentioned that his daughter is a lesbian person, and not a heterosexual, but in fact a gay homosexual woman who is a lesbian with the last name Cheney."

Mr. Kerry said he would send a card to the vice president's daughter to fully express his regrets.

"I'm sure Hallmark has a nice collection of cards that say things like, 'I'm sorry I talked about your sexual preferences on national TV'," said Mr. Kerry. "But I really wasn't trying to remind conservatives that the vice president has a daughter who is not heterosexual, but rather a homosexual lesbian gay woman named Cheney."

Mr. Kerry's running mate, John Edwards, will reportedly issue an apology tomorrow for similar remarks he made during his debate with Mr. Cheney.

[uncleshag]

I really enjoyed the give and take last evening and the funnies, links, jpgs, htm's, wma's, have had me rotfl most of the day.

My wife isn't so amused. Says, "I don't wanna even see or hear anything about Kerry".

I love my wife, my kids, my country.

Imagine the lovin' Laura put on CowboyW this morning!

Do you like COWBOYS?

[dancusa]

Listening to John Kerry lecturing on the Bible last night, I turned to my son Matthew and remarked, "I will retire to Bedlam."

John Kerry is the Jim Baker of the 21st century and the democrats are his PTL club. 100% pure hypocrites.

[LegalEagle61]

Sorry, but to me that apology did not seem anything more than a chance to ONCE again make sure the American people know that our VP has a gay daughter. I hope it bites him in the ass again.

[Salty Cobra]

If this lying A/H was really sorry he would have just said I apologize for my inappropriate comment last night and left it at that. His dishonesty is so transparent, why did he go into a long rhetorical explanation? I can answer my own question, he wanted to make another slam at Vice President Chaney to repeat his message to the Democrats who
may be thinking of a swing vote but have a prejudice against gays and lesbians.

[HoustonTech]

"There's nothing wrong with being one of God's homosexual children," said Mr. Kerry, an openly-heterosexual veteran of foreign war who is also a U.S. Senator, "And far be it from me to pry into the private life of Mr. Cheney's lesbian child, who is gay and a homosexual. People can't choose whom they will love, and so I should not have mentioned that his daughter is a lesbian person, and not a heterosexual, but in fact a gay homosexual woman who is a lesbian with the last name Cheney."

Somehow this doesn't sound sincere. ;-)

[killjoy]

It's Edward's wife who owes all the Cheneys an apology

Why should Teraaaazza be the only one sticking her foot in her mouth? I think Edward's wife is just jealous of the spotlight Teraaaaazza gets.

[uncleshag]

John Kerry is the Jim Baker of the 21st century and the democrats are his PTL club victims ...

[1stMarylandRegiment]

KERRY is a lesbian.