Grieving family turns to faith

This family needs prayers.

"Most of the time, God's plans are not the same as our plans. We have to trust him."

So true. A sad story, but the faith will get you thru hard times. Prayers sent.

You have to register to read the article. How about summarizing what happened to this family?

Connie and Nathan Backstrom chose to home-school their five sons because they wanted their children to grow up with a sense of character and faith.

A day after their three oldest boys died in a head-on collision in which the other driver was talking on a cellular phone and suspected of consuming alcohol, the Backstroms showed character and grace in memorializing their lost sons.

Driver Matthew, 20, and brothers Jacob, 17, and Justin, 16, were returning from an errand just miles from home when the crash occurred. All three were wearing seatbelts.

"Our prayers are with the other family that [the other driver] heals, grows strong and learns from this," said Connie Backstrom standing on the front lawn of the family's Hampton Township, Minn., home. "… The Lord will get us through and show us a reason."

As family, friends and the two remaining sons Ryan, 12, and Charles, 8, watched, crying and hugging, Nathan and Connie Backstrom tenderly described their sons.

Matthew, a college student, was an artist and violinist who made his mom smile with his one-liners. Matthew finished high school in 2002 and told friends and family he wanted to build robots for NASA.

Jacob practiced drums and guitar in the basement, the music echoing through the two-story house. Jacob would have finished high school this year and planned to record a song with friends.

Justin had an ear-to-ear smile and was the family computer whiz, serving as technical support when mom had a question. Justin played saxophone and wanted to be a chef. His specialty was Swedish meatballs.

All three enjoyed playing paintball in the pasture behind the house.

"They were the love of our lives," said Connie Backstrom. Later, she added, "We've probably had more time with our boys than most people whose children are 30."

Nathan Backstrom, a self-proclaimed country boy from North Dakota, said he moved the family from Apple Valley seven years ago to their Hampton homestead, where the family raises sheep and other animals on a hobby farm. The family attends Our Savior's Evangelical Lutheran Church in Cannon Falls.

The Backstrom brothers were on their way home Sunday evening after dropping off film for developing at Wal-Mart. Matthew, a graphic arts student at Dakota County Technical College, was the photographer in the family. Younger brothers Jacob and Justin had gone along for the ride.

The trio was traveling east about 7:40 p.m. on Minnesota 50 near Farmington when 22-year-old Boe Barlage, heading west in the opposite direction, tried to pass on the two-lane road.

Barlage, of Farmington, pulled in front of the Backstroms' 1995 Saturn and realized the lane was not clear. Barlage pulled back into his own lane but lost control of his 1995 Ford Taurus and careened into the Saturn. The Saturn appears to have slid over the top of the Taurus and landed, crumpled, in the ditch.

"He looked like he was pulling out to pass, pulled back in, corrected and then overcorrected," said Dakota County Sheriff Don Gudmundson. "One of the contributing factors in this accident is the use of the cell phone. He was talking on his cell phone. We know that. Whoever he was talking to said they heard, 'Oh, my God,' and they heard the sound of a collision."

Matthew and Justin died at the scene. Jacob was airlifted to Regions Hospital in St. Paul in critical condition and died later that night. Barlage remained in serious condition Monday at Regions Hospital. Barlage was not wearing a seatbelt and was ejected from the car. His family did not return a call Monday.

Minnesota State Patrol investigators are awaiting toxicology tests as experts reconstruct the crash.

"We do believe alcohol was a contributing factor," said Capt. Jay Swanson. "The troopers at the scene discovered evidence that led them to believe alcohol was involved."

Nathan Backstrom, a pilot for Northwest Airlines, was working the night of the crash. His wife called him in the cockpit and told him to come home immediately. Halfway there, Nathan Backstrom said he called his wife and begged her to tell him the news. He struggled to drive the rest of the way home.

Monday afternoon, Connie Backstrom said two of her sons — Matthew and Justin -— had survived close calls with illness as children. She said she was grateful for the time she had with them.

"Many have asked how we are doing. My answer is God is faithful. Justin, Jacob and Matthew each had a personal relationship with Jesus Christ. They are now in the presence of their Lord and Savior. Our prayer is that because of that, lives will be changed and God will be glorified," said Nathan Backstrom. "Most of the time, God's plans are not the same as our plans. We have to trust him."

TO HELP

The family has set up a memorial fund for the boys at White Rock Bank, P.O. Box 548, Cannon Falls, MN, 55009. The fund will be donated to the Franklin Graham's Christmas Child Fund in their memory.

Prayers sent.

"They were the love of our lives," said Connie Backstrom. Later, she added, "We've probably had more time with our boys than most people whose children are 30."

She's right. Having homeschooled them, she spent most of her time with them and got to know them so very well. My heart grieves for her as I think about our two older sons who are away from home in grad school and law school. I pray for their protection all the time, but know that I can't control the choices of other folks, like the driver that killed these boys.

I pray that God continues to give this family strength.

Prayers being offered! What a very, very sad tragedy. Every parents nightmare - to have a child go before you. God bless them with courage and faith to get them through them. Their hearts must be crushed.