Free Republic
Browse · Search
General/Chat
Topics · Post Article

Skip to comments.

Yard Sign
10-05-04 | Unknown

Posted on 10/05/2004 11:16:07 AM PDT by kkalman

GOOD ONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Last Thursday I put out one of my Bush/Cheney signs in my front yard. Between midnight and 3:00 a.m. someone stole it. On Friday night I put out sign No. 2. Since I didn't have to get up early, I thought my dog and I would "stake out" our sign. This time I put the sign a little closer to the gate leading to my backyard. With my dog on an extra long leash, I planted myself on a lawn chair and read "Unfit for Command" by flashlight until about 1:00 a.m. Here comes the fun part . . . I noticed that the car coming down the street was slowing down and pulling over to the curb right next to my yard. Sure enough, he gets out of his car and heads right for my sign. Just as he was about to uproot and desecrate it, I opened my gate and let my dog make the initial introduction! As he ran to hide behind the rear end of his car, I promptly moved to the driver-side door, which was still open. It was a fairly nice car with power everything and still running. While my dog continued to "introduce" herself, I rolled up the window and hit the power door lock button. With that, I slammed the door, grabbed my Bush sign and headed into the back yard.

And now for the "rest of the story." About 40 minutes later, I heard a knock at the door. I opened the door to one of our city's finest . . . the Vancouver Police Department. The officer asked me what was going on and when I told him, he could not stop laughing! I followed him out to the perp's car and stood there while he asked the guy a few more questions. Upon learning that the guy lived a couple of streets down, I -- knowing what was about to happen -- asked him, "Why do you have Oregon plates on your car if you live just down the street (here in Vancouver, Wash.)?" Oregon has no sales tax, so often Washington residents will buy and register cars in Oregon to avoid paying sales tax . . . it's a crime and the fine is pretty stiff. Here comes the best part. . . . The look on this guy's face told me he knew he was about to get busted. When the officer asked for his license and registration, the "Democrat" mumbled that (his license) was suspended. Just for kicks and giggles I asked the officer if he smelled any alcohol coming from the guy! The officer looked at me, smiled and promptly gave him a field breathalyzer test. Guess what? You got it, he blew a .10, legally drunk in the state of Washington.

DUI, illegal registration and the brand of "MORON," all 'cause he hates Bush!

Sincerely,

Bob

Cost of Bush signs: $5.95 each Cost of Flashlight batteries: $3.95/Pack Seeing a Leftwing Numbskull carted off to the hoosegow: Priceless.


TOPICS:
KEYWORDS: fiction
Navigation: use the links below to view more comments.
first previous 1-2021-4041-6061-8081-82 next last
To: kkalman
Your newbie status makes me suspicious.

Since crimes are reported in the local papers "police beat" section, how bout posting the write up from the paper.

21 posted on 10/05/2004 11:21:29 AM PDT by Phantom Lord (Advantages are taken, not handed out)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: kkalman

I LOVE YOU BOB!!


22 posted on 10/05/2004 11:21:38 AM PDT by dormee
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: kkalman

Poifect! :)


23 posted on 10/05/2004 11:21:41 AM PDT by saveliberty (Liberal= in need of therapy, but would rather ruin lives of those less fortunate to feel good)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Constitution Day

Awesome!


24 posted on 10/05/2004 11:21:48 AM PDT by mabelkitty (Do not indulge the Negative Nervous Nellies with reassurances.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 15 | View Replies]

To: kkalman
I no longer have dogs.

I guess I will have to rely on "snubby" or his big cousin "Colt Python".

25 posted on 10/05/2004 11:21:54 AM PDT by lormand (Dead People Vote DemocRAT)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: upier

ping


26 posted on 10/05/2004 11:22:04 AM PDT by ml/nj
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Constitution Day

I knew I had read that before. I loved it.


27 posted on 10/05/2004 11:22:06 AM PDT by tioga
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 15 | View Replies]

To: dirtboy

This has been circulating in some e-mails


28 posted on 10/05/2004 11:22:21 AM PDT by fritzz
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 2 | View Replies]

To: MineralMan

I don't know. Gotta get something done before I leave work, anyway.


29 posted on 10/05/2004 11:22:30 AM PDT by Constitution Day
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 20 | View Replies]

To: kkalman
LOL. That is soooo funny!!!

BTTT

30 posted on 10/05/2004 11:22:38 AM PDT by concerned about politics (Vote Republican - Vote morally correct!)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: kkalman
Is this true and did it happen to you?

It just seems too damn good to be true, more like an e-mail chain letter (with a similar one going around about a Kerry sign stealer). Just asking.

31 posted on 10/05/2004 11:22:45 AM PDT by DTogo (U.S. out of the U.N. & U.N out of the U.S.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: kkalman

I have had six signs stolen here in MD. I must get a dog, lol

Great work!


32 posted on 10/05/2004 11:22:46 AM PDT by man from mars
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: kkalman

you.... are my hero


33 posted on 10/05/2004 11:23:10 AM PDT by Revelation 911
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: kkalman

Fantastic story! You need to send it to Rush!

Mine's not so funny, but a rural household I drive by every day had a Kerry sign, along with other Democratic candidates. When I noticed the Kerry sign had vanished, I dropped in Kerry's headquarters here in town and got a replacement. I went to the guy's door, handed him the sign and told him I'm a major Bush supporter, but we Republicans are great believers in free speech and people who steal yard signs suck. His jaw was still on the ground as I drove off.


34 posted on 10/05/2004 11:23:31 AM PDT by Spok
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: DTogo

See Message 15. This is a bogus post, even if it is funny as heck. The poster should have referenced the source.


35 posted on 10/05/2004 11:23:40 AM PDT by MineralMan (godless atheist)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 31 | View Replies]

To: Piranha

You're right -- It's fiction. Snopes doesn't list it, but Truthorfiction does.


36 posted on 10/05/2004 11:23:47 AM PDT by ZGuy
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 5 | View Replies]

To: mlbford2

I have my reasons in this instance - namely, it was posted days ago, and the poster didn't source it or say whether it was him or he got it via email.


37 posted on 10/05/2004 11:24:17 AM PDT by dirtboy (Kerry could have left 'Nam within a week if Purple Hearts were awarded for shots to the foot.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 17 | View Replies]

To: Piranha

I'm sure it is, but still funny as h**l. It made me laugh. I'm a sucker for a good story.


38 posted on 10/05/2004 11:24:24 AM PDT by tdadams ('Unfit for Command' is full of lies... it quotes John Kerry)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 5 | View Replies]

To: Phantom Lord

Sounds like a made up story.


39 posted on 10/05/2004 11:24:30 AM PDT by 1Old Pro
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 21 | View Replies]

To: kkalman

BRAVO! I hope this is for real and not made up!


40 posted on 10/05/2004 11:24:32 AM PDT by wayne_shrugged
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]


Navigation: use the links below to view more comments.
first previous 1-2021-4041-6061-8081-82 next last

Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.

Free Republic
Browse · Search
General/Chat
Topics · Post Article

FreeRepublic, LLC, PO BOX 9771, FRESNO, CA 93794
FreeRepublic.com is powered by software copyright 2000-2008 John Robinson