Posted on 09/14/2004 12:43:27 PM PDT by Henry Yang
RARIFIED SPAM
By Henry Yang
THE LARGEST DICT EVER CAN NOW BE YOURS!!!
With this time-limited offer, the latest iteration of the unabridged Oxford English Dictionary is now available in hard back. Shipping of the 2,000 volume, 14 ton edition requires reserving of an Army C-47 cargo plane and installation of special shock absorbers on your bookshelves. Don't risk embarrassing your teenager daughter by confusing nescience with prescience, enormousness with enormity, or testament with testimony.
The First Edition began publication in 1884 under the editorship of James Murray, and was completed in 1928, before the widespread embracement of DSL. Psychiatrists estimate that the endeavor would have been concluded in 1885 had Paxil existed.
STAR WANTS A HOT MATE, CAN YOU ACCOMMODATE???
Applications are now being accepted for post-doctoral fellowships at the U. of Pennsylvania, where researchers in the biologic sciences have initiated a reproductive cloning project with the acronym STAR, or the STem cell Academy of Research. These primitive life forms are derived from amoebic dysentery. The fine blond filament strands feature dark roots and seem to spontaneously pulsate to a 1974 Donna Summer rendition of Lady of the Night.
In a parallel project, MISTY (Monozygotic Institute Stem cell Transplantation using Yttrium lasers) is also taking applications via the National Institute of Health.
YOUR DIET IS READY FOR SHIPMENT. YOU OWE $O.
1890-1947 Prior to World War II, the Imperial Diet of Japan was comprised of the House of Peers (not to be confused with the current day U.S. House of Pears), the House of Representatives, as stipulated under the 1889 Constitution of the Empire of Japan, fresh fish, rice, and unprocessed seaweed.
After W.W. II and the imposition of Martial and McDonalds Law by General McArthur, the Japanese Diet has consisted of the House of Councillors, the House of Representatives, McFish, McFat, and Burger Emperor.
GET RID OF POUNDS!!!
Join the conservative wing of the House of Lords in resisting the House of Commons political move to change the United Kingdom currency from the English pound to the European Union Euro. Would you accede to the loony left proposal to trade in the visage of the inestimable mother Queen on our currency for an Amsterdam harlot smoking pot while ordering a French primer on morality via a Finnish cell phone?
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