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ZOT! Confessions of a former Lurker
Today | Conservator

Posted on 08/02/2004 3:01:44 PM PDT by conservator

Hello people. What I am about to say may be painful but please bear me out.

When I first came to this site I was horrified. I saw only the posts of the neo-conservative extremists (bomb the arab, kill Islam, nuke the middle-east etc.)

I was mystified how such folks could exist. I decided to post comments to "test the waters" and get a feel for this site. As I did so I was banned numerous times. I testified if this site was anti-semantic (as naturally I thought this site was so far right to be anti-sematic) by making dubiosly anti-sematic posts. I was banned.

I tested to see how concerned this site was with domestic affairs of minorities, by posting that racial attacks should be branded as terrorist attacks. I was banned. I looked over the entire site and found numerous examples of people being banned for having slightly leftist viewpoints (care for labor, smaller military etc.)

I tested the waters again by reacting to a conservative about the issue of fear of alienation by pointing to the fact that everyone here is an alien. I made my reply as vitrolic as some of the language I have seen here .I was banned again.

Now here's where I went wrong:

I decided to infiltrate what I saw as the conservative ranks by making a few far-right conservative viewpoints about several issues. Nothing happened. I decided to try and saterize and degrade the conservative image by saying wild and nasty comments to anyone that seemed even slightly to the leftof extreme conservativism. I accused Kerry of being a communist and people who drove SUVs as terrorists. Nothing happened.

I realized that I was now in a dangerous situation, as it seemed that ultra-conservative viewpoints were embraced. Some of them, such as, racial profiling, and unanounced searches, I think as profoundly un-american and a threat to our very society. I ecided to try and influence the website or at least some of it.

I decided that the only way to correct some of these viewpoints would be to infiltrate the party and change it from the inside with subtlety. Meeting with other conservatives to form a grassroots campaign of change of the conservative viewpoint, and perspective.

But then something strange happened. Although I decided I did not like some of the views I did like the people. Even the angry ones who wanted to nuke the middle east, because as I commented..they are only human. Misguidd perhaps but human nonetheless. I also noticed a lot of people were Christian. Don't be shocked, but I also am a Christian. I was baptized last November on the 30th, and obviously..as you an see from this post..I have some growing to do.

Then my conscience hit me. Although I don't feel particularly bad about not believing people who drive SUVs are terrorists or that I don't think that Kerry is a danger to the free world, I do feel about the deception. Particularly the Christians here who warmly reached to me. How could I deceive them...even in something as important as my viewpoint? I had no right and God would hold me acountable, hence this public apology.

In all honesty my head is bowed in shame for having deceived you all. I am sorry to everyone and even this website, for deeiving and lieing about what I have done. I asked forgiveness from God and I hope that you, who are reading, to will forgive me and remember that everyone makes mistakes.

Please I urge all of you do not go and clamp down now on anyone who has vaguely different viewpoints from the mainstream. Variety is not only the spice of life but it is lifebreathing and important for to avoid things like "group-think" and other aberations of thought where a group of people think exactly the same thing.

As for my actual views: I have never been a Democrat or Republican. I cannot fit in either a my views onflict with a lot of things.

I believe that abortion should be criminalized but I don't believe in taking away the right to do it. I believe that stem cell research is wrong but if people should wish to do it they should fae the consequences. I know that, that winds up in defacto law against it, and I understand that.

Choice is so vitally important in our country. A man has a right to kill another man. He also has a right to go to jail for it. A woman has a right to an abortion. She also has a right to jail. We can impose punishment, but we should never impose choice. God gave us a chance to do wrong. He did not take it away. However when we did wrong we were and are punished. That's how our society should work too.

I believe that it's okay to have the Bible in school, but I don't believe in making students pray, and I think forcing the Bible out of everywhere is wrong.

I believe this current war is wrong. I don't think Iraq had anything to do with 9/11. However I believe intervention is needed in the Sudan. In general I believe killing is wrong. I would do it to protect my family or an innocent were threatened and my nation if we were invaded, but God help me if I think it's right. It's wrong and damnable and just because I would do it or my country did it does not make it ok.

I believe in love of your countrymen and repect for your country. I don't believe in loving anything above God. Jesus is the Alpha and Omega in my mind..All the more reason I am ashamed of what I have done.

I think President Bush is a clutz. I don't think he is evil. He is just alittle out of touch.

I don't believe gays should marry. Technically I don't think they exist. Homosexuality is just another point on aline of sexual aberations. If they wish to marry let'em. They will fsce punishment for their actions later. Choice should never be restricted. If a man wants to marry for hi dog go ahead. Just don't tell me what you do is ok.

I truly believe Hip Hop is a destructive influence. I truly hate it, the movement, but not the people.

Arabs..::shrugs:: they are doomed for destruction. It is foretold in the book of Obidiah, I think. All the sons of Edom are in for it. Do I believe then it's right to kill them? No way. Is it okay to profile them. Not a chance. Would I defend one in the street if I saw one being attacked with unfair odds? You better believe it. I would do it for anybody. Do I think it is right for Palestinians to attak Israelies? Nope. Do I think it's ok for Israelites to knock down their houses and kill Arabs? No way. I respect israelites. They are the chosen people, the most favored. That don't mean I approve all of what they do.

Do I like terrorists? Nope. It is right to kill them? Nope. Is it right to lock em up for eleventy billion years. Yup.

Okay that's it for now. I have to go leave now for class.

Agin my heartfelt apologies to everyone.

Conservator over and out.


TOPICS: Chit/Chat
KEYWORDS: antisemantic; byebye; conservator; exposeyourthroat; iampathetic; iamreallytwelve; lurker; massachusetts; nutcase; wackjob; zotworthydrivel
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To: baltodog
Baltodog! How could you? Here I was, almost done with my Master's thesis in Animal Behavior about this amazingly talented dog that posted coherent, thoughtful, conservative positions and arguments.

Now I find out you're an actual human FReeper. Three years of work down the drain...bad dog! Bad!

21 posted on 08/02/2004 4:46:58 PM PDT by timpad (Peace without victory is procrastination)
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To: conservator
For your sake I hope that you Mea Cupla is a an honest attempt to reach out across the political divide.

You are correct in saying Variety is the spice of life, I would say most here believe the same and operate under those principles in our dealings in every day life. We deal with all types all day long. If you come in spouting a left view point it is libel to get beaten up and tossed around. This is a group of conservative Americans, and this is a forum to discuss these views. So if you bring in something contary to that it will get the razz or if the moderators feel that it would be too inflamatory they will do what the have in the past ban the account.

As I said before, I do hope that your Mea Cupola is in earnest or if you thought what you got early was bad, then do even both coming back if you were not sincere.

Welcome and enjoy the scenery
22 posted on 08/02/2004 4:53:32 PM PDT by Americanwolf (America! Love it, or my 550 pound lowland gorilla will be more than happy to show you the door.)
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To: conservator

I thought you were cheese in the wind from the get go and never even responded to your whiny posts. Now I see I was right and you are merely second hand food, SHF.

After your 3 or 4 days on FR as a major contributor you will be missed deeply. Tell your friends at DU how mean spirited and hateful we are.

Share this with them too.

Kerry 2004

I want to be the President,
Though all know I can’t lead.
I really want the power though,
It’s really what I need.
I’ll lie and cheat and fabricate,
I’ll flip and flop for sure.
The left’s so dumb they’ll vote for me,
For stupid, there’s no cure.
George Bush lied, I’ll chant and sing,
Though I know it’s not true.
I love America I’ll say,
Another lie for you.
I’ll back the UN’s global push,
No sovereignty for us.
The world rides free at our expense,
We’ll even buy the bus.
Let terror rain down on this land,
We really are to blame.
Oh yes, I fought in Viet Nam,
Four months, then home I came.
Three Purple Hearts for paper cuts,
Like some rite of passage.
Of course my name’s John Kerry,
And I approve this message.

Conspiracy Guy 7/30/2004


23 posted on 08/02/2004 5:03:20 PM PDT by Conspiracy Guy (They are where you least expect. Look around and you'll see them too.)
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To: Conspiracy Guy
CG... you rite sum rite perty poeitry der!
24 posted on 08/02/2004 5:26:05 PM PDT by Americanwolf (America! Love it, or my 550 pound lowland gorilla will be more than happy to show you the door.)
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To: Conspiracy Guy

Amen Bros and sis's I can understand your anger and I don't blame ya.

But as I said before I am sorry and I hope you all forgive.


25 posted on 08/02/2004 5:34:02 PM PDT by conservator
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To: conservator

Sorry for the late servicing of this target

26 posted on 08/02/2004 5:37:06 PM PDT by big'ol_freeper ("Freedom consists not in doing what we like, but in having the right to do what we ought."-Pope JPII)
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To: conservator

Forgiveness, when one has been decieved, comes with a high price.
And here on FR, deception on this scale isn't viewed kindly.
A certain poster claimed to have had his wife and daughter die in a car accident, this after the daughter was sick, etc etc etc.
Turned out he was a fraud.

We were rather angry about it.
If Jim says it's time to forgive, there will be grumbles, but generally we will listen.
But that depends on if he feels you are truly penetant.


27 posted on 08/02/2004 5:45:37 PM PDT by Darksheare (<=== Has been thrown into a grain sack and hauled away by Amazons. All posts are now by an imposter.)
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To: conservator

You are either very confused, or a very poor writer, or both. But not to worry -- spend enough time on FR practicing your thinking and writing, and you'll get much better at both.


28 posted on 08/02/2004 5:56:34 PM PDT by GovernmentShrinker
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To: conservator
Last (so far) but not Least (I hope)...

Bad Grammer!

and Bad Spelling!

29 posted on 08/02/2004 5:59:41 PM PDT by ExGeeEye (John Kerry: The Franchurian Candidate)
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To: conservator

Howdy partner.
Welcome to FR.
We like to get to know our friends and neighbors.
Could you mosey on over to your profile page (you know where it is), and give us a word or two about yourself?
Thanks.


30 posted on 08/02/2004 6:05:31 PM PDT by Diddley (To Liberals: If you have a good story, why lie?)
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To: AQGeiger; 4mycountry; TheBigB; VRWCmember; Zavien Doombringer; jriemer; harpseal; mhking; ...
VK bump!

31 posted on 08/02/2004 6:06:51 PM PDT by MeekOneGOP (There is only one GOOD 'RAT: one that has been voted OUT of POWER !! Straight ticket GOP!)
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To: conservator

"anti-semantic?"

Do you mean against sentences?


32 posted on 08/02/2004 6:07:32 PM PDT by Diddley (To Liberals: If you have a good story, why lie?)
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To: MeekOneGOP

Can't the trolls give it a rest? I'm trying to cook dinner here!


33 posted on 08/02/2004 6:12:05 PM PDT by Not A Snowbird (Official RKBA Landscaper and Arborist, Duchess of Green Leafy Things)
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To: AQGeiger

"anti-semantic"

I think he means " All your base are belong to us",

Or am I confusing semantics with grammer?


34 posted on 08/02/2004 6:12:57 PM PDT by BenLurkin ("A republic, if we can revive it")
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To: conservator

There are about 100,000 FReepers. There are all kinds of conservatives coming here to escape people like you who are stupid but think you're smart.


35 posted on 08/02/2004 6:13:22 PM PDT by Lady Jag (Used to be sciencediet (aka Tad Rad) but found the solution)
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To: conservator

36 posted on 08/02/2004 6:15:03 PM PDT by Lady Jag (Used to be sciencediet (aka Tad Rad) but found the solution)
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To: conservator
It is right to kill them? Nope.

Wrong answer.

37 posted on 08/02/2004 6:15:06 PM PDT by Professional Engineer (Platoon leader, TreadHead aerial demonstration team. Ever do an Immelman in a tank?)
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To: Darksheare

38 posted on 08/02/2004 6:15:56 PM PDT by BenLurkin ("A republic, if we can revive it")
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To: Diddley

OMG! Anti-semantic? The horror!!!!


39 posted on 08/02/2004 6:16:40 PM PDT by Lady Jag (Used to be sciencediet (aka Tad Rad) but found the solution)
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To: SandyInSeattle

Watcha cookin'?


40 posted on 08/02/2004 6:16:50 PM PDT by kenth
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