Posted on 05/28/2004 7:00:28 AM PDT by grellis
"I'm in the high-fidelity first class travelling sect
And I think I need a Lear jet."
Pink Floyd, Money
Raise your hand if you would settle for a used Suburu van, as long as it comes with built-in car seats!
As I wrote last week, today we will be discussing financial matters and how we mothers cope with them. Who handles the finances in your household? What do you do to make ends meet? Do you have college funds started for your kids? What are some of the things you have given up in order to stay afloat? What are some luxuries you simply cannot give up, regardless of their expense? Please take this opportunity to share anecdotes and, more importantly, advice. Dads, we welcome your input as well!
Me either!!! And I'm not originally from there either.......it gets worse. I was born and raised in NYC!!!
>> I'm not married, but if was, I wouldn't take such cr*p from in-laws<<
LOL!!!!
I said the same thing when I wasn't married. Once you're there and you look like the b!tch in front of your husband's family, you tend to go with the flow to keep the peace. Remember, although his family is rude and crass, you love the man and he loves them. It has taken me 8 years of pointing out individual occasions to get my hubby to see that there is anything wrong. He lived with being left out and stepped on. To him it is just normal. He is not hurt by any of it, however, being male and not understanding how little minds work, he doesn't see how this hurts his children. He is waking up. (Please understand also that his parents are 78 & 83. They will not change).
Tia, would you chime in here about your in-laws?
Well, I have no interest in getting married, so I'll never have to deal with the in-law thing. But I didn't speak to my mother for 9 years, starting about mid-way through college. She eventually figured out that she had to be civilized around me or she'd never see me (and I'm her only child). She still harbors evil thinking patterns, but has learned to keep them to herself when I'm around.
For some reason, in-laws can be terrifying. They are an inexplicable phobia of mine.
It's entirely my problem for marrying a man with apron strings. Even though he won't admit it and does his very best . . . even when they're not around, they're a powerful influence on every action he takes.
Maybe because we're both youngest children, we tend to want to please.
One year in June, our first year married, my FIL informed us that our Christmas present of a book had made my MIL cry. They use guilt very well. (The book apparently was worth less than the gift we had given the father, which was a silly thing anyway that he had returned. She had asked for the book and for nothing else . . . So from then on, we have spent a fortune on their Christmas gifts).
Sometimes it's hard not to want to be married to a thoroughly independent man.
Also, they are 75. There really is no point in making them straighten up.
You might want to check out Maggie Gallagher's book about marriage ... I don't recall the title, but it's in my public library, for what that's worth. In one chapter, they quantify the amount of additional income a married man earns, vs. an unmarried man of the same education.
The more education both husband and wife have, the greater the difference between the married man's earnings and the unmarried man's. I believe the authors also speculated on the causation of this phenomenon, but it's there whatever the cause.
My husband was offered a job in Salisbury, MD, with Perdue Chicken ... we almost took it, because we're dying for seafood after so many years in the Midwest!
I know being here is the best thing at this time (because it's what we were offered just when our savings ran out!), but as the boys get older, I really wish we had farm work for them to do. Not to mention an endless supply of free catfish!
I just called five local laundomats. The cheapest quote for laundry in Lansing is $1.25 a pound. I then weighed three bath towels (not sheets, towels) and two pairs of jeans, which would make a very small load by my standards. It weighed in at 8 lbs. That's $10 a load. I do 7 loads a week, times four weeks, $280 worth of laundry. It will probably take me the rest of the weekend to figure out a few other things...I'll allow minimum wage for the rest of the tasks (house cleaning, bookkeeping, meal preparation). I'll keep you posted on the running total.
That is incredible! I do two loads of laundry on an easy day, four on a day that includes ketchup, jelly, pizza, or horses. I'm worth ... billions! ... and that's not including my life insurance :-).
Oh, and I used to get $10 an hour for bookkeeping, longer ago than I care to mention. Should be at least $15/hr. by now. I'd figure the value of cleaning by getting a quote from a cleaning service on a full weekly job - that should only take a couple of phone calls ... just make sure their quote includes everything you do!
>>It's entirely my problem for marrying a man with apron strings<<
Every man has apron strings.
Woman! You make the money on childcare alone!
(((hugs))))
LOL!!!!
We can't fish in the creek that runs along our property, but we sure do get a lot of it in.....OTOH it's a good thing it's called fishing and not catchin......even after a day surf fishing, if I have my mind set on fresh fish I generally have to head to the seafood market up the road from me..........sigh!!!!
I'm very familiar with Perdue HQ in Salisbury......my husband works for IBM and spent nearly a year as the on-site tech there......he's also real familiar with the processing plant in Accomac!!!!
I'm semi isolated where we are, but after a year it has gotten better......I've gotten to know people and feel much more comfortable when hubby has to go away on business. I was a basket-case the first time he had to go out of town last year. We had only been here about 6 weeks, and the only people I knew was our real estate agent, attorney and the guy across the road.........
We didn't want our daughter growing up where we lived in Dover, and my husband refused to send her to that school district (he went to it), but we couldn't afford anything like what we now have in either Kent or Sussex County. WE were also both ready to get ut of Delaware altogether.
Well, he probably wouldn't have the kids, if I wasn't here :-).
Irrespective of money, I think we just have a better life, the way things are. "Where your treasure is, there will your heart be." And now I need to take all my treasures to the Bi-Lo and get onions ... I can't believe we ran out of ONIONS!
Sending you gusts of 95-degree heat ....
>>Every few years we visit the in-laws in Houston, sometimes they see us here in Michigan, we all see each other at a family reunion in Chicago every summer. That's all the meddling and rude behavior I need.<<
Dr. Laura once said that the in-laws came with your man. If they are such a pain to limit the amount of time you spend with them. You and I have both done this.
My limit is two hours very few times a year.
Part of the problem that we have is that my parents are long gone. My hubby has nothing to relate to.
>>Sending you gusts of 95-degree heat ....<<
We'll take it!!!
The girls wanted to go outside but it's 59 degrees. We are doing a Walmart run instead!
By the way, where is the estimate on my shawl? We got OUR tax check!
Sheesh........There are only 3 of us, I couldn't possibly afford that.
Back in the days before mommyhood I paid $75 every other week for house cleaning.
OMG......I actually made the mistake of running out of onions about a week ago. I guess I was traumatized by the experience, because when I was in the market with the great meat prices last Saturday I rememered I was out of onions and bought a bog.
When I got home I realized I had bought a bag 2 days before.....
Hubby roared laughing at me because I was so mad at myself.
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