The Guild 4-26-2004 Right-wing laugh riot

Washington Times ^ | 11-6-2003 | Laura Vanderkam

[BigWaveBetty]

One night last summer, radio host Larry Elder beckoned his listeners to the Ha Ha Cafe in North Hollywood to film a documentary lampooning liberal film maker Michael Moore.

Intrigued, producer Eric Peterkofsky showed up for the night's comedy. He listened as comic Jeff Wayne headlined the event with right-wing jokes rarely heard in comedy shows.

[Hillary's Lovely Legs]

Pointer Sister 'on drugs charge'
The youngest member of the original Pointer Sisters trio has been charged with cocaine possession, reports say.

June Pointer Whitmore, 50, was arrested in Los Angeles on Thursday, according to the Reuters news agency.

Ms Whitmore was arrested with two other people outside the Hollywood apartment of her sister, Bonnie, who was not charged in connection with the case.

She was charged with one count of cocaine possession, as well as possessing an "illegal smoking device".

Prison sentence

Whitmore, who has not performed with the Pointer Sisters in more than three years was released on bail.

She could face a maximum penalty of three years in prison, if found guilty.

The original Pointer Sisters trio produced a string of hits in the late 1970s and early 1980s, including Slow Hand and Jump (For My Love).

The two remaining members of the original line-up, Anita and Ruth Pointer now perform as a trio with Ruth's daughter, Issa.

[Iowa Granny]

Good Morning!

[mountaineer]

an impromtu stop at the Brighton Hot Dog Shoppe in Beaver, Pennsylvania

Kerry had scheduled an "impromptu" stop at a sporting goods store in Wheeling (owned by a Dem bigwig), but because he was running so far behind, they had to skip it and try to get to the next stop near Canonsburg, Pa., the All-Clad factory where they make those great pots and pans (site of a recent labor dispute). These so-called impromptus are more like contingency plan stops, just in case he has time for them.

[BigWaveBetty]

How is it that a person can earn 6 million dollars for a book (cough, cough) but only have three pantsuits? Old bluey is back in less than a week from it's last appearance.

Sen. Hillary Rodham Clinton , D-N.Y., addresses the NAACP 49th Annual Fight for Freedom Fund Dinner speaking on the theme of 'Brown vs. The Board of Education 50 Years Later: Where do we go from here?' in Detroit, Sunday, April 25, 2004.

Hillary really should get her jewelery from a store instead of a Fruity Pebbles cereal box.

[mountaineer]

It ain't easy not being green with envy when you're Hillary Clinton's pal. That's what Mary Steenburgen told those gathered yesterday at the Four Seasons, where Sen. Clinton was honored by More magazine with its "Alpha Woman" award.

"Only someone not totally ruled by their insecurities could be friends with Hillary Clinton," the actress told the gathering, which included Barbara Walters, Katie Couric, Star Jones and More editor Peggy Northrop. source

[BigWaveBetty]

Oh puhleeze, could Steenburgen's nose get any browner?

I've been searching for a story I heard a snippet of on c-span this morning. Didn't catch the name of the publication but the story was about algore leaving an earth day speech, as he was leaving the parking lot he (or the driver) hit several objects before he finally made it out of the lot. Please me help find this story!

[lodwick]

Here's a pic to tide you over...

[Hillary's Lovely Legs]

Just a little something floating around in my brain, but Whoopi Goldberg is waving around a coat hanger screaming that this is what woman had to use before Roe V Wade.

Question: Since when is a coat hanger considered part of 'health care'?

[Hillary's Lovely Legs]

The Hormone Hostage knows that there are days in the month when all a man has to do is open his mouth and he takes his very life into his own hands! This is a handy guide that should be as common as a driver's license in the wallet of every husband or boyfriend.



DANGEROUS: What's for dinner?

SAFER: Can I help you with dinner?

SAFEST: Where would you like to go for dinner?

ULTRASAFE: Here, have some chocolate.




DANGEROUS: Are you wearing that?

SAFER: Gee, you look good in brown.

SAFEST: WOW! Look at you!

ULTRASAFE: Here, have some chocolate.



DANGEROUS: What are you so worked up about?

SAFER: Could we be overreacting?

SAFEST: Here's fifty dollars.

ULTRASAFE: Here, have some chocolate.



DANGEROUS: Should you be eating that?

SAFER: You know, there are a lot of apples left.

SAFEST: Can I get you a glass of wine with that?

ULTRASAFE: Here, have some chocolate.



DANGEROUS: What did you do all day?

SAFER: I hope you didn't overdo it today.

SAFEST: I've always loved you in that robe!

ULTRASAFE: Here, have some more chocolate.



My husband, not happy with my mood swings, bought me a mood ring the other day so he would be able to monitor my moods. When I'm in a good mood, it turns green. When I'm in a bad mood, it leaves a big red mark on his forehead. Maybe next time he'll buy me diamonds...

[mountaineer]

Hillary really should get her jewelery from a store instead of a Fruity Pebbles cereal box.

I would have said Cracker Jack, but the fact remains - the woman has no fashion sense whatsoever (anyone who knows me would say, "pot, meet kettle," but even I am not as tacky as she).

I haven't yet found the Al Gore Earth Day story, but will keep looking.

[mountaineer]

Whoopi Goldberg is waving around a coat hanger screaming that this is what woman had to use before Roe V Wade

I thought they went horseback riding, but what do I know?

[Iowa Granny]

The US Postal Service created a stamp with a picture of Senator Hillary Clinton to be released in New York State in honor her achievements as the First Lady of our nation.

In daily use, however, it was shown that the stamp was not sticking to envelopes. This enraged Senator Clinton, who demanded a full investigation.



After a month of testing, a special presidential commission made the following findings:
* The stamp was in perfect order.
* There was nothing wrong with the applied adhesive.
* New Yorkers were spitting on the wrong side.

[BigWaveBetty]

Cracker Jacks don't have good surprizes any longer, just a crummy sticker or fake tattoo. :-(

Shoot, now I'm starting to wonder if I even heard it. Don't knock yourself out with looking, I suppose it'll come along.

HLL, did you hear this algore story this morning?

[BigWaveBetty]

HAR!

[lodwick]

heheh...bless her heart.

Stunningly gorgeous weather today and tomorrow: Th & Fr, who knows?

[Timeout]

Kerry:
Tinfoil hats, you say? Hmmm. Maybe that explains why we haven't been able to convert those Yahoos over at Free Republic.

[mountaineer]

Kerry is looking at the raw pots and pans at the All-Clad factory south of Pittsburgh. His visit there may taint it for me forever, but I love their cookware. It's terribly expensive, but twice a year they have a "seconds" sale where you can get the products at a fraction of the price. My mother and I have made a tradition of it for the past several years.

Having said that, on another thread I commented that perhaps he was looking for "pots to piss in," considering when Teresa throws an outdoor party at her Nantucket estate, she doesn't let her guests use the indoor facilities.

[lodwick]

...she doesn't let her guests use the indoor facilities.

This may be the most unbelievable item posted on the internet today...

You SHOULD go back to Africa, Teresa.

[Timeout]

I swear, we're entering "Deja Vu" territory here.

Drudge's latest

$1000 HAIRCUT? KERRY FLIES IN HAIRDRESSER FOR TOUCH-UP BEFORE 'MEET THE PRESS'

On the Friday before his MEET THE PRESS appearance, Dem presidential hopeful John Kerry flew his Washington, DC hairdresser to Pittsburgh for a touch-up, the DRUDGE REPORT has learned.

Cristophe stylist Isabelle Goetz, who handles Kerry's hair issues, made the trek to Pittsburgh, campaign sources reveal.

"Her entire schedule had to be rearranged," a top source explains.

A Kerry campaign spokesman refuses to clarify if Goetz flew by private jet on April 16 or on the official Kerry For President campaign plane.

The total expense for the hair touch-up is estimated to be more than $1000, insiders tell DRUDGE.

One source suggests the hairdresser was flown to Pittburgh on Teresa Heinz Kerry's 'Flying Squirrel', a Gulfstream V private jet.

[The 'Flying Squirrel' is worth about $35 million. A deluxe model; plasma TV, two bathrooms, fancy mahogany and burlwood paneling, gold-plated fixtures.]

"Senator Kerry thinks Isabelle does a superb job," a campaign source said.

Goetz grew up in a small town in eastern France. She also does Hillary Clinton's hair.

Developing...

Did they learn nothing from Clinton?

[mountaineer]

She also does Hillary Clinton's hair.

That's not something I would brag about.