'We Built This City' ranks as the worst record ever

USA TODAY ^ | Mon, Apr 19, 2004 | Edna Gundersen,

[presidio9]

We Built This City is the single worst single ever constructed, according to Blender's ranking of reeking tunes.

• Kevin Spacey sorry for mugging confusion • Vince Neil sued by former prostitute • Hurdle cleared for James Brown annulment • Frat brothers avoid jail in MTV-taped killing of koi • Worst song... Ever

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Search USATODAY.com

Snapshots

USA TODAY Snapshot Do teenagers want to follow in their parents footsteps? More USA TODAY Snapshots

The magazine's list of "The 50 Worst Songs Ever," which hits newsstands Tuesday in New York and Los Angeles and April 27 nationwide, distills the lamest popular rock-era records into one sonic landfill.

Starship's 1985 anthem, the runaway No. 1 stinker, "seems to inspire the most virulent feelings of outrage," editor Craig Marks says. "It purports to be anti-commercial but reeks of '80s corporate-rock commercialism. It's a real reflection of what practically killed rock music in the '80s."

Excerpt

[theDentist]

Van Halen?

[blackdog]

Did you know the original words were "In the Garden of Eden"?

[TheBigB]

Nope.

[macamadamia]

"All you need to know about this song is that it was written as a Rod McEuan translation (from french)of a Jacques Brel folk song. The scary part is that it was recorded by the Beach Boys, but they wisely chose not to release it. Leading the little known Canadian Terry Jacks into total infamy."

Wow! Always trust a gut feeling.

[Always Right]

I can't stand "Brand New Rollerskates" (Melanie, I think)

Oh my, that was a terrible song, probably worse than any song on this list. There was also that goofy song 'Poloroid'....gives me nice bright colors......and another classic, Cats and the Craddle.

[the OlLine Rebel]

I'm w/you.

I visit a nostalgia forum, where most talk revolves around music. No matter where you go on line, it seems the people are all fringe types who think they are so cool not liking what was obviously popular at the time (and often, later, too). They knee-jerk "hate" everything that is most popular.

Hey, I myself am a rather "different" person - alot of hobbies *no1* identifies w/ (I need the net to find comrades, almost invariably). But just cuz I don't fit in w/the peers didn't mean I didn't like pop music as it was. I don't feel the need to conform to anything - either the pop culture --- or those who just want to be contrary to it for contrariness' sake. I'm convinced there are too many people who are "counter-culture" just for the latter.

And why is it every generation says some popular thing or trend "killed R&R"? Or imply, for that matter, that we can only listen to R&R? What is it w/these uptite people who have such a narrow view?

[blackdog]

I had no idea what Melanie was singing about other than Rollerskates when I was thirteen........Or Joannie Mitchell's "Blender Blues" either! I was soooo naieve!

I was about thirty before it dawned on me. When I consider what the songs were really about, I'm glad I spent my time chasing thirteen year old girls and playing with my friends than listening to music.

[the OlLine Rebel]

That's Kodachrome.

And I like these songs! (Altho I hav no idea about Rollerskates....)

[Pyro7480]

LOL! That was a great scene. I loved the part at the end where they stick up the candles in the air. ;-)

[blackdog]

Can anyone explain to me Melanie's PAIR of rollerskates? I mean I get the key part, but is she supposed to have two rollerskates? Or is she saying she was open to keys in two places?

[Constitution Day]

If that were me, I would not admit that I had *ever* liked Debbie Gibson.

Your mileage may vary.

[4mycountry]

Is it bad that I've never even heard of these songs before? :]

[Always Right]

And I like these songs! (Altho I hav no idea about Rollerskates....)

Lucky you. The song went "I've got a brand new pair of Rollerskates, you got a brand new key". Anybody that does not have that song in their memory is a lucky soul.

[theDentist]

Captain and Tenielle? BB King? Paper Lace?

[4mycountry]

Ok... I'll take the bait...

What's "Shiny Happy People"? (And do I really want to know?)

[lugsoul]

Yeah, well - I think Richard Marx has an Oscar nomination. That doesn't mean he doesn't suck.

Your comment on Taupin could lead us to a whole other topic - worst songs by great songwriters.

[TheBigB]

Dude, I was fifteen. ;) And she was cute as a button! And has grown into a very lovely woman, IMHO...

[4mycountry]

I heard it on TV once. Pretty sad.

It's like "It's a small world". Once it's in your head, it's hard to get it out, despite numerous efforts.

[blackdog]

Muskrat Suzie....Muskrat Sam, do the jitterbug down in muskrat-land as the sniggle, Sam starts to giggle............

[TheBigB]

Nope, nope, and nope.