Dimensional Door - Freeople Thread 16

[null and void]

I'm sure she saves the company lots of money on extended "futile" care...

[null and void]

When she was doing occupational therapy her biggest goal, the thing she felt best about, was convincing her patients that they would never recover use of their affected body parts. Because then she could get them to work on ways to compensate...

[null and void]

Marty wakes up at home with a huge hangover.

He forces himself to open his eyes, and the first thing he sees is a couple of aspirins and a glass of water on the side table. He sits down and sees his clothing in front of him, all clean and pressed. Marty looks around the room and sees that it is in perfect order, spotless, clean. So is the rest of the house.

He takes the aspirins and notices a note on the table "Honey, breakfast is on the stove, I left early to go shopping. Love you."

So he goes to the kitchen and sure enough there is a hot breakfast and the morning newspaper. His son is also at the table, eating.

Marty asks, "Son, what happened last night?"

His son says, "Well, you came home after 3 A.M., drunk and delirious. Broke some furniture, puked in the hallway, and gave yourself a black eye when you stumbled into the door."

Confused, Marty asks, "So, why is everything in order and so clean, and breakfast is on the table waiting for me?"

His son replies, "Oh that! Mom dragged you to the bedroom, and when she tried to take your pants off, you said, "Lady, leave me alone, I'm married!"

A self-induced hangover - $100.00

Broken furniture - $200.00

Breakfast - $10.00

Saying the right thing - priceless

[lodwick]

Yep - it won't be all that long before Dallas is in Oklahoma.

Good Sunday morning, everyone.

[lodwick]

Priceless = outstanding. Thanks for he grin.

[Conservababe]

A high of 83 and sunny here. It is time for the inside plants to go outside for the summer. And the fishpond needs to be cleaned and the fountain turned on.

What am I doing sitting here?

[lodwick]

Same as I - just delaying the inevitable.

Cheers, CB.

[lodwick]

Judge: "Well, Sir, I have reviewed this case and I've decided to give your wife $775 a week."
Husband: "That's fair, your honor. I'll try to send her a few bucks myself."
______________________________________________

Q: What is your date of birth?
A: July fifteenth.
Q: What year?
A: Every year
_____________________________________________

Q: What gear were you in at moment of the impact?
A: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.
_____________________________________________

Q: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
A: Yes.
Q: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
A: I forget.
Q: You forget. Can you give us an example of something you've forgotten?
______________________________________________

Q: How old is your son, the one living with you.
A: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember which.
Q: How long has he lived with you?
A: Forty-five years.
______________________________________________

Q: What was the first thing your husband said to you when he woke up that morning?
A: He said, "Where am I, Cathy?"
Q: And why did that upset you?
A: My name is Susan.
_________________________________________

Q: And where was the location of the accident?
A: Approximately milepost 499.
Q: And where is milepost 499?
A: Probably between milepost 498 and 500.
_______________________________________

Q: Sir, what is your IQ?
A: Well, I can see pretty well, I think.
________________________________________

Q: Did you blow your horn or anything?
A: After the accident?
Q: Before the accident.
A: Sure, I played for 10 years. I even went to school for it.
________________________________________

Q: Trooper, when you stopped the defendant, were your red and blue lights flashing?
A: Yes.
Q: Did the defendant say anything when she got out of her car?
A: Yes, sir.
Q: What did she say?
A: What disco am I at?
________________________________________

Q: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?
________________________________________

Q: The youngest son, the 20-year old, how old is he?
_________________________________________

Q: Were you present when your picture was taken?
_________________________________________

Q: So the date of conception of (the baby) was August 8th?
A: Yes.
Q: And what were you doing at that time?
_________________________________________

Q: She had three children, right?
A: Yes.
Q: How many were boys?
A: None.
Q: Were there any girls?
__________________________________________

Q: You say the stairs went down to the basement?
A: Yes.
Q: And these stairs, did they go up also?
__________________________________________

Q: How was your first marriage terminated?
A: By death.

Q: And by whose death was it terminated?
_________________________________________

Q: Can you describe the individual?
A: He was about medium height and had a beard.
Q: Was this a male or a female?
_________________________________________

Q: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition that I sent to your attorney?
A: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.
________________________________________

Q: Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead people?
A: All my autopsies are performed on dead people.
________________________________________

Q: All your responses must be oral, OK?
A: OK.
Q: What school did you go to?
A: Oral.
_________________________________________

Q: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
A: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.
Q: And Mr. Dennington was dead at the time?
A: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy.
___________________________________________

Q: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?
___________________________________________

Q: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for pulse?
A: No.
Q: Did you check for blood pressure?
A: No.
Q: Did you check for breathing?
A: No.
Q: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
A: No.
Q: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
A: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
Q: But could the patient have still been alive nevertheless?
A: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law somewhere.

[Servant of the 9]

Yep - it won't be all that long before Dallas is in Oklahoma.

I think we offered Oklahoma Dallas and a panhandle county to be chosen later during the early 70s and they turned it down.

So9

[Conservababe]

Baja Oklahoma?

[Mo1]

Great photos Val

We are having GREAT weather here and I'm in Heaven!!!

[Mo1]

. Oh boy, this is gonna be an adventure!

Yes it will .. but it will be one filled with lots of joy and smiles

[Lakeshark]

What is a Lightning?

Normally you see it before you hear the thunder.......

But in this case it's the Tampa Bay hockey team, so in the singular it must mean one of their players. I saw them play the Redwings earlier this year. They're the top seed in the Eastern draw of the Stanley Cup games, and they're really good and exciting to watch.

But there is something disconcerting and unsettling about the idea of hockey in Floriduh..............Could it be the temperature? Naaaaah!

[lodwick]

It can't be any more whacked than hockey in Texas, can it?

Or soccer in America?

[ValerieUSA]

[lodwick]

Absolutely gorgeous - what the heck is it?

I would love some of those in our back yard.

[catpuppy]

Hockey ... is that like a sport or something?

[Professional Engineer]

We have been painting the nursery. Today we've finally gotten to the end point on most of the flowers!

[lodwick]

Very fresh - good job with it, PE...may all go very well with everything in this new adventure.

[ValerieUSA]

How cheerful! I just hope the little one isn't allergic. :)