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Posted on 04/11/2004 4:02:33 PM PDT by yonif
Bowing to intense pressure from Mel Gibson's father, Jews announced today that they would no longer control the world.
In a press release, Jews stated, "Although we have thoroughly enjoyed the challenges of world domination for the last 3000 years, we feel it's time for gentiles to take control of their own affairs. We plan to spend more time with our families and pursue other interests."
Hutton Gibson stated he was pleased with the announcement, but expressed concern he was losing a scapegoat for all of his problems.
He said he would be launching a search for a new minority group to demonize.
Many Jews expressed relief that they could give up burdensome responsibilities. Retired accountant Jerry Friedman, who controls all media in Montana, said, "I would just as well let the citizens of Montana manage their own TV and newspapers. Don't get me wrong, Montana is a fine state. But it gets awfully cold, and there's nowhere to get a good bagel."
Attorney Allen Franks said he's glad he no longer has to manage Bulgarian monetary policy. "It was getting to be quite a hassle," he said. "I already have a full time job and can't even balance my own checkbook, let alone control the finances of an entire nation."
Homemaker Judith Levine said she would "...miss the hustle and bustle of setting the international price for magnesium every day. But my son is about to become Bar Mitzvah, and oy! Such a party we're gonna have, you wouldn't believe!"
Hollywood producer Sidney Greenbaum was pessimistic about the announcement. "Do you really think goyim know how to make movies?" he asked. "They'll all end up being high budget, technicolor snuff flicks if you leave things up to Mel and his kind."
Comedy experts expressed concern that the business would suffer if Jews suddenly withdrew. According to one insider, "Take away all the Jewish comics and writers, and all you have left is Carrot Top. That's not a world I want to live in."
Plaut is normally a good guy, a Jew who really goes after leftist Jews, so hopefully he's not after Mel here.
OTOH, I think that sword swings both ways. Mel's father should not be above the criticism that he apparently deserves just because it may reflect on Mel.
The secular left has used Mel's father as a blunt instrument against The Passion. Those weilding the instrument have been an odd mixture of Christian haters; I revel in their agony over the films success.
What is there to respect? That guy is dilusional.
Hmm...they gave us Walter Mondale.
Norwegians selected Jimmy Carter for the Nobel Peace Prize.
I give up...I don't know enough about Norwegians. I just keep thinking of Hagar the Horrible and of the Norwegian parrot in the Monty Python skit...
That's true, but that in itself should in no way excuse Mr. Gibson, is what I am saying.
Professor Plaut is not part of the secular Left.
I generally consider the movie's success to be a good sign, a sign that perhaps the country may not have moved as far leftwards as many suppose. Not to mention that it demonstrates that Judaeo Christian values are still held dear by many, which is great.
While Mel has understandably not criticised publicly his father, has he refuted any of his father's views, to your knowledge?
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Since I don't follow the slanders against Mel's father that closely, I'll have to leave that question to others on this forum who regularly distort Christian views and attitudes.
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