The Guild 4-3-2004 Things Bob Actually Does Know About Women #27

Sour Bob ^ | Sour Bob

[Utah Girl]

Things Bob Actually Does Know About Women #27

or, The Math of Phone Numbers

• where x is the number of girls for whose phone numbers you ask...
  
• where K is the percentage of the same-age dating population left over after you weed out the emotionally disturbed, chronically chemically-addled, intellectually unsatisfying, personality-challenged, and essentially unavailable persons...
  

• where y is the percentage of people who maintain their attractiveness in the harsh light of day, away from free-flowing drinks and neon beer lights...
  
• where z represents the rate of people who will either give you a crap number, screen your call out, or never answer your message...
  
• where b represents the likelihood that, all things being equal, either of you will continue to show interest at the time of this follow-up call...
  
• where 2 is considered to be the random-weirdness-that-can-screw-anything-up-where-dating-is-concerned factor...

Given all of this, the odds of successfully attaining a date based on a phone number attained at a bar can be expressed by the following equation:

Assuming K to be .85, figuring y to be around .5 (although it may be considerably higher if you drink heavily, or slightly lower if you don't drink at all), estimating z to be around .15, and putting b at around a two out of three chance...

Going by those numbers, you need to ask for about twelve numbers for every date you expect to get.

[Endeavor]

Where did the bald spots appear? And did they appear after the event? Did she seem to know you during and right after the spinning event? RE: bald spots - does the hair appear to have just fallen out or is it just shorter in the two spots - in other words, could she have chewed the hair out? Any sensitivity over the back where she appeared to be irritated? Are the spots bilaterally symmetrical, ie, one on one side of the back and the other directly opposite on the other side?

RE: "Mild kidney inflammation" - can you give me numbers and tests - in other words, was the BUN elevated or Creatinine? Did they do a urinalysis? Did she get a good neurological exam? (Checked cranial nerves, ie - check pupillary response, checked proprioception - take paw and turn it over and see if she corrects, hang legs off end of table and then touch them lightly to table - does she respond by placing them correctly on table, etc?) Did she appear to have a "drunken" gate after the event or did she ambulate just fine? Did they check her thyroid? (blood test).

Lastly, is there any sign of swelling or bite mark at the site she seemed to be focused on during the event?

Well, almost lastly - any pain on eating? (teeth in good shape?) And, have you noticed an increase or decrease in her water intake.

[Timeout]

Rather than give you partial answers, I'll get back to you after we visit the vet next hour. Should have heartworm results by then. I'll take along your questions and get back to you. THANK YOU!

[Endeavor]

No sweat. Happy to help.

[Endeavor]

I do want to read Decter's book - it's on my list. But I was thinking something more light-hearted for the plane rides (and lighter to carry).

[PreviouslyA-Lurker]

How old is poor Bob? Or does it matter these days? And what about poor Bobbie Jo? Do you have a dating equation for her?

[PreviouslyA-Lurker]

Did you see the report on PrimeTime on the Veterans Administration and the handling of the Vet patients at their hospitals? It was appalling! Most of the report was done on a hospital in TX, which made me think it was Bush-bashing. I still think the Vet admin. needs to clean house regardless of who is president. I live in KC,MO and remember the story about the flies laying eggs in the noses of comotose patients.

[mountaineer]

The VA hospitals vary widely in levels of cleanliness, care, staff attentiveness, etc. I know when my late father was ill, there was no way my mother would take him to the one closest to their home in Pittsburgh; instead, he went to a much nicer facility in Clarksburg, WV.

[lodwick]

The VA hospitals vary widely in levels of cleanliness, care, staff attentiveness, etc.

---

Amen. My grandfather had wonderful care, way back in the day, in the Dallas facility.

Good day, everyone.

[lodwick]

[Timeout]

Cookie and I are back from the vet. Good news!

No heartworms, but most importantly, she has NOT lost 2 lbs. Her weight today showed only 1/2 lb below normal. We can only surmise their scale was off the last time. And the "new bald spot" I'd discovered...turns out to be where he shaved her the other day! LOL on me!

So now the only concern is the "episode" (siezure?). He proscribed waiting a couple of months, then doing blood tests again. In the meantime, I'm to just keep an eye on her. He gave her a shot for the allergies. No ear inflamation today. No ear mites either.

As for your questions: BUN was 1 pt above normal. As for other exams, he took her in the back for a long time during the original visit, so I'm sure he did a complete checkup. (He seemed pretty concerned at that time.) The large bald spot is more short hair than bald...he says she's licking it. Today he showed me thin hair spots on the backs of her hind legs...tiny scabs too. This was the condition for which he gave her the injection for allergies.

The siezure: There was a momentary sense that she didn't know where she was, but it only lasted about 10 seconds. She then climbed into my arms and "rested" while her heart slowed down. Then she drank some water and went to sleep...with me up watching her like a hawk until 4 a.m.! Given the little scabs he pointed out on her hind legs, maybe that had something to do with it? No recurrences.

Gums, eyes, ears all clear and healthy. I'm feeling relieved. Do you agree?

[lodwick]

Great news - thanks.

[PreviouslyA-Lurker]

The report was not just on the hospitals, but on appointments of those in charge. I was busy doing other things and did not catch all the names or listen attentively, but they gave the name of the guy in charge of wasting VA money in TX. Which was the political part of the story.

[PreviouslyA-Lurker]

Nice...

[PreviouslyA-Lurker]

One of my 50+ friends told me (from a woman's point) the fellas learn better how to hide their bad side as they get older, which makes it difficult for women to find a good fella.

[Endeavor]

Good on the weight issue. Good on the BUN - one point above normal range doesn't bother me, particularly if the creatinine was not elevated. Good news on the one spot. OK with the allergy treatment.

The event itself is a bit perplexing. Could have been a seizure, could have been extreme irritation from skin allergy, could have been localized neuritis or spasm, could have been central nervous system oriented other than seizure. What to do now? Wait and see if it happens again. If it does, then more diagnostics. Glad she feels better. Also glad you have the baseline bloodwork as a rule out. Hugs to kitty.

[Timeout]

Listening to Rush and just heard a commercial for:

HISTORY CHANNEL
SUNDAY, 9 pm Eastern
"BAND OF BROTHERS"

I've heard this previously- HBO-exclusive movie was very very good.

[mountaineer]

Just had a nice visit to the brand new equestrian center being built in our town (there will be a tie-in to the college, with equine studies and pre-vet. curricula, as well as shows, boarding, trails, etc.), as I am writing a newspaper story about it, and thought of you and your veterinary expertise! There was a 2-day old horsie (or is that foal?), just as cute as he could be. Awwww...

[Endeavor]

You guys are making me wish I was still in practice. Of course, then I remember all those 3 AM emergencies wrestling cows and bulls and horses and then reality sets in and makes me happy to be home and warm at those hours now. Not to mention, with fewer broken bones. It's tougher to dodge hooves once one sees the backside of 40! But, those were the days and I wouldn't trade them for anything.

[mountaineer]

Here's one Iraqi the Times, Post, ABC/CBS/NBC/CNN won't be interviewing any time soon:

It’s the day that brought me back to life. It’s the 9th of April and I’m free, and they will not steel my joy again and they will not silence me. A year ago at the same date, the thieves and criminals prevented me from celebrating my freedom in the open air, and today thieves, criminals and fanatics are doing the same, but they will not steal my happiness that is making my soul fly and dance with joy and they can’t stop this.

A year ago, words failed me as I met the 1st American soldier, and I still remember his name, “corporal, Adam” and all I could utter was “thank you!” how could I ever put my whole life in few words? How could I have thanked that soldier enough? How could I have told him what it meant to me to see him and his comrades-who brought me back to life- at last? Thank you Adam, Lieutenant Antonio, Captain Brian Curtis and all the coalition soldiers who I can’t remember their names, and those I never met.

It’s the 9th of April and I feel safe! And I don’t care what those ‘political experts’ on the newspapers and TV channels, say about the ‘occupation’, deteriorated security and ‘unemployment’. You can’t understand this, because you never experienced real fear this long. Let me tell you about it, as I’m one of those who passed Saddam’s filthy test of life.

The statue fell and with it, horror fell. You don’t know what it means to be scared to death most of your life, brothers and sisters. I knew that and I faced it during the reign of evil and darkness. I was afraid to talk, I wasn't allowed to think and I wasn't allowed to feel…I wasn't allowed to love.

How dare anyone imply to me how should I feel? And who they think they are, those who try to put words in my mouth? I’m alive and I’m free, and I have the right to say whatever I feel and chose the words I like. No one will tell me again what to say and what to feel.

Yes, it’s the 9th of April. I lit the 1st candle today to celebrate my 1st year, as a free man and no one will prevent me from celebrating. I, who the earth is no longer enough to contain my feelings, I who have wings now, and I don’t have to carry an ID…I’m Iraqi. I have the right to wander through my country southwards and northwards, without being stopped by someone to ask me who I am and where I’m going. I’m the son of the 9th of April.

Years ago, when I was a fugitive, a Ba’athist who’s a friend of my father and a relative said to me mockingly “how long are you going to live like this!? Get out of this ‘hole’ and turn yourself in to the authorities and do your military service.” I looked at him and I couldn’t say anything, but my soul screamed inside me, “The day when your tyrant becomes a defeated fugitive will come. He will search for a hole to hide in, and I will own Iraq then”. And here comes the dream true!

I’m the son of the 9th of April, tyrant’s clowns, and you have to fear me, you who betrayed me every minute and every day, and you want to chain me again???

You know why it’s impossible now? I was a slave and I never knew who I am…. and now I’m free! Thanks to all who dared to tell the truth and didn’t fear the consequences. And as for you, who saved me and my people, I can’t thank you enough. My voice goes feeble and my eyes swell with tears as I think of the Iraqis, Americans and all the coalition soldiers who gave their lives to free Iraq and make this world a better place. God bless their souls and all those who decided to fight to the end and never been discouraged, even in the toughest moments. I hope you can call me brother, because I’ll never fail you, as you never failed me.

This time, the 9th of April has come again and in what way! The powers of darkness and evil are trying to stifle my candle with their foul breaths but this time I'm alive and free and I will face them, and I will lit it again and again …and again.

By Mohammed. http://iraqthemodel.blogspot.com/

[mountaineer]