The Hobbit Hole VII - But not yet weary are our feet...

[RosieCotton]

Heh, what I think would be appropriate would be the guy asking you if he could ask your father to court you. It's your life, not your dad's. But asking the dad shows some respect. And that his intentions are honorable.

I admit I would find that flattering and romantic, but I'm not sure I'd absolutely expect it.

I think guys should at least feel they should discuss MARRIAGE with the father, even if the girl doesn't live at home. Yes, it's mostly just a token of respect...but it's nice just the same.

[JenB]

Good for him! That sounds like the right sort of thing.

Sigh... the major component of courtship is prayer... and patience... I know you said earlier you didn't really want to be praying for patience, but I suppose it's better than St Augustine's famous prayer. You know, "give me purity and chastity, but do not give them to me yet".

I guess I'd rather pray for patience.

[JenB]

Again, I'd rather he asked ME before my father. It would be kind of embarrassing to have my parents know before I did.

[Bear_in_RoseBear]

Heh, that's pretty cool!

Check out this site!

[RosieCotton]

Yikes...lotta misspellings and typos in there. Which is different from their. Or they're.

Dumb homeskoolers...;-)

[Fedora]

If and when I date again...I think it should be someone that I at least see as a POTENTIAL marriage partner. Otherwise...what's the point? Though...I know that's not a very popular opinion these days.

You're right on that. But a paradox there is that it may be difficult to tell if someone is a potential marriage partner unless you date them enough (or otherwise see them enough in non-dating situations) to get to know them sufficiently. Do you get a chance to meet many people who might be potential dating/marriage material?--that's one of the challenging parts for someone in your type of situation, I think.

[Bear_in_RoseBear]

Engrish.com strikes again?

Oh, yes... as you probably saw, I took it from the sign that stands2 posted!

[JenB]

Poor Rosie... such a nice girl, and no good conservative Catholic unmarried guys around. She needs to get out of Vermont. Apparently the only people who want to get married there are the gay guys.

[Bear_in_RoseBear]

Darn, meant to ping you to 2344!

[RosieCotton]

As in, he proposes, then asks Dad for his blessing? Yeah, that's probably the best way.

Again, in my friend's case, her husband asked her father if it was OK before he ever asked her. I'm not sure, but it's possible her Dad actually told her that her now-husband would like her hand...rather than a normal proposal. In any case, once again...a bit stricter than I'd care for.

[Fedora]

Hmmm... homeschool online dating service... I have this weird mental image. I went to the PA homeschool convention several times, and probably half the attendees were Amish or Mennonite. The women all wore the same pattern of dress and they had the caps - I'm imagining girls like that leaned over a keyboard typing...

A keyboard or a typewriter?--are Amish allowed to use electronic computers? :)

[TalonDJ]

Which is why I never told her my asking had been prompted by her parents 'gentle' suggestion. Getting shot down at courtship was not as painful as I expected. Probably because I asked her to pray about it for a few weeks so I can be confident in the answer.... well as confident as I can be in 'not now maybe later'.

[JenB]

Um, yeah. That's a little too 16th century for me, thanks. I'm not really into the modern dating scene, but at least we get a real say in things!

Heh, I would hope that my dad would tell the guy to ask me himself!

[msdrby]

And CRKT makes (made) a neck-knife called the "Stiff Kiss". As luck would have it, it is no longer in production, but it appears to still be out there among the dealers. It also has the extra pieces to attach the knife to various things.

This knife looks very similar to the one my brother carries in his boot. Could be the same knife.

[JenB]

I don't think they use electronics at all, which makes it even funnier. Though there is a freeper called AmishDude.

[TalonDJ]

You hit the nail on the head. And in the courtship model it is up to the guy to make the move and ask her to consider him as possible marriage material BEFORE he is sure. Yeah, kinda hard. Trust me.

[Fedora]

Don't a lot of video games have built-in "secrets" like that? I remember discovering one at the end of the "Raiders of the Lost Ark" video game once :)

[JenB]

Hmmm... interesting situation. You did good there, though.

'Not now maybe later' is kind of a wishy-washy answer but I bet I know what she's feeling. Did you ever want something but not want it, at the same time? In some ways, that's me. I'm interersted in marriage, but at the same time I feel like it's going to be a couple years before I can get married. And certainly I can't have children until I finish my schooling... not if I want to finish, anyway, and that's another decision I'm not making just yet.

[Fedora]

I guess I'd rather pray for patience.

I think that's crucial for offsetting the anxiety associated with the whole process, which is one of the biggest barriers IMO.

[TalonDJ]

In my brother-in-laws case he plotted with my parents to spring a surprise romantic proposal on my sister. It was well executed unlike my older brothers lame proposal. Whatever works I guess hehehe.