Posted on 01/25/2004 2:20:46 AM PST by clee1
The cause of irrational liberalism has at last been discovered! For decades, political and cultural conservatives have wondered what causes a liberal person to be.... liberal.
Questions like, "Are they just idealistic?" "Are they just ignorant?" "Is it genetic?" are often posed during discussions among the rational, thoughtful members of the population.
Research has determined the answer: It is not idealism, ignorance, or a genetic flaw; it's viral.
Scientists at the CDC have just announced that they have discovered that liberals are infected with the Communisticalis Irrationalis virus.
Communisticalis Irrationalis is an extremely prolific pathogen, often propogated by close interpersonal contact with govenment education facilities, exposure to the mainstream news media, and an overindulgence on Rap music and violent video games/movies. The primary carriers of this virus seem to be members of the NEA, the network news anchors, the Screen Actors Guild, and the commentators on National Public Radio.
Its effects are severe and cumulative, and persons knowledgeable in the research state that victims of this virus are subject to unworkable flights of fancy, supporting preposterous government programs. They also tend to become unstable when challenged by facts that undermine their positions. "Just look at what happened to Howard Dean during and after the Iowa Caucases." states a CDC researcher, under a grant of anonimity.
"The dangers of infection from these carriers is drastically understated," says Libby Basher, spokesperson for the CDC, headquartered in Atlanta, GA. "We now now that even casual contact with viral hosts can result in acute illness, so correct identification of carriers is critical to reducing the incidence of irrational liberalism."
The search for a vaccine is ongoing, Basher went on to state, but she also reports that non-government education, a foundation of morality, and a good dose of conservative talk radio can provide a substantial prophylactic effect.
Michael miserable failureMoore
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.