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SNL Transcript of Dean Endorsement by Gore
Saturday Night Live (NBC) ^
| December 2003
| Saturday Night Live
Posted on 12/31/2003 6:13:48 AM PST by Paladin2b
Dean For President 2004
Al Gore.....Darrell Hammond
Howard Dean.....Jeff Richards
Announcer: The following is paid for by Dean For President 2004.
[ dissolve to Al Gore and Howard Dean sitting side by side ]
Al Gore: Hello. I'm Al Gore.
Howard Dean: And I'm howard Dean!
Al Gore: As I'm sure you're all aware.. we are, to-day, a na-tion.. in cri-sis.. poised on the edge.. of ca-tas-tro-phe.. and without a change in leadership.. we are quite literally.. doomed. It is essential.. that we have a new.. president.. in 2004. A leader with the judgment.. courage.. and vision.. to change our nation's course and save it.. from disaster. A leader.. like Vermont governor - and my friend - Howard Dean.
Howard Dean: Thank you!
Al Gore: That's why I'm pleased - and proud - to give him my support for President of the United States.
Howard Dean: I'm honored, Mr. Vice-President!
Al Gore: Like you.. Howard Dean knows.. that, under our current asministration, life in america has been good mainly for the wealthy! For everyone else.. it's a living, breathing nightmare. As Paul Krugman has pointed out in the New York Times.. George W. Bush is not only.. the worst president in american history.. he is the worst leader of any nation on Earth.. going back more than 500 years!
Howard Dean: Really? I mean.. I'm no fan of President Bush, but uh.. but what about Hitler?
Al Gore: Number Three.
Howard Dean: Pol Pot?
Al Gore: Number Six.
Howard Dean: [ scoffs ] I'm not sure I'd buy that.
Al Gore: Oh no, that's accurate. It's from Tuesday's column. [ back to his sales pitch ] Like you, Howard Dean knows.. the wreckless.. foreign policy of the current administration has alienated our allies.. and left us in a hopeless quagmire in Iraq, where, quite frankly, our military's looking like a bunch of incompetent.. cowardly.. losers!
Howard Dean: Let me just say that I, uh.. I have nothing but.. respect for our troops.
Al Gore: As President, only a Howard Dean.. could end this insanity. Only a Howard Dean.. could go to Saddam Hussein and say, "Look! Why are we fighting each other? Our real enemy.. is George.. W. Bush."
Howard Dean: For the record, that is, uh.. not actually my position on Iraq, I.. don't know where you got that..
Al Gore: In domestic policy, Howard Dean will show the same kind of leadership.. by calling for massive across-the-board tax increases.
Howard Dean: No.. [ chuckles nervously ]
Al Gore: Tax increases may not be popular.. but Howard Dean knows.. they're essential. Essential! If we're to fund the huge new government programs our nation needs!
Howard Dean: I never said that!
Al Gore: Now.. in this election.. you're gonig to hear a lot from the right wing about gay marriage.
Howard Dean: Ix-nay, please. Ix-nay.
Al Gore: That's because, under Governor Howard Dean, Vermont became the first state in the nation.. to recognize gay marriage.
Howard Dean: Civil unions, not gay marriage.
Al Gore: Basically the same thing.
Howard Dean: You're not help-ing.
Al Gore: As President, only a howard Dean could have - or would have - the vision to make gay marriage a national policy.
Howard Dean: This isn't helping.
Al Gore: Now, some people don't approve of gay marriage, but I'm with Howard Dean. Why shouldn't gays marry? They let people like George W. Bush get married!
Howard Dean: That doesn't even make sense.
Al Gore: As our nation continues its downward spiral.. and Americans desperately cry out for leadership.. our current president can only tell us, "Don't worry, we'll be alright, God has blessed America." Like you, Howard Dean.. knows.. that's a crock!
Howard Dean: Actually, I'm a very religious person..
Al Gore: This November, let's all put our faith.. in Howard Dean.
[ dissolve to ad card ]
Announcer: Paid for by Dean For President 2004. Opinions expressed by supporters of Dean For President 2004 do not necessarily reflect those of the candidate.
TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: 2004; snl
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1
posted on
12/31/2003 6:13:48 AM PST
by
Paladin2b
To: Paladin2b; Coop; ArneFufkin; austinTparty; Dane; Jorge; Chancellor Palpatine; Poohbah; hchutch; ...
we are quite literally.. doomed.Sweet.
2
posted on
12/31/2003 6:16:36 AM PST
by
Texas_Dawg
(Waging war against the American "worker".)
To: Paladin2b
Context, please. Has this run? If not, when? Is it even real or is it a skit that "should have been?"
3
posted on
12/31/2003 6:18:15 AM PST
by
Lee'sGhost
(Crom!)
To: Texas_Dawg
Heheheh.
4
posted on
12/31/2003 6:19:38 AM PST
by
patton
(I wish we could all look at the evil of abortion with the pure, honest heart of a child.)
To: Paladin2b; StriperSniper; Mo1
Hilarious!!
5
posted on
12/31/2003 6:20:19 AM PST
by
OXENinFLA
(Ask yourself what has killed more people in the US; Mad cow or Ted Kennedy?)
To: Lee'sGhost
It ran on the air recently.
6
posted on
12/31/2003 6:20:39 AM PST
by
Paladin2b
To: Lee'sGhost
It's there at the link...
7
posted on
12/31/2003 6:23:58 AM PST
by
Dutchgirl
To: Paladin2b
I have not watched SNL recently but I've got this skit perfectly pictured in my mind. Classic! Great satire must always have a germ of truth in order to work. In this case, there are several germs of truth and that's what makes this satire of Gore endorsing Dean particularly funny!
8
posted on
12/31/2003 6:26:23 AM PST
by
SamAdams76
(Happy New Year!)
To: Paladin2b
Thanks! I was trying to explain this to my DH the day after it ran since he went to bed early that night. I couldn't do it justice. I was LMAO!
9
posted on
12/31/2003 6:28:22 AM PST
by
meowmeow
To: meowmeow
Thanks! I was trying to explain this to my DH the day after it ran since he went to bed early that night. I couldn't do it justice. I was LMAO! I would love to see a clip of this. SNL has been awful whenever I've seen it recently, but this bit sounds like it was hilarious.
10
posted on
12/31/2003 6:29:59 AM PST
by
Texas_Dawg
(Waging war against the American "worker".)
To: OXENinFLA
Howard Dean: Really? I mean.. I'm no fan of President Bush, but uh.. but what about Hitler?
Al Gore: Number Three.
Howard Dean: Pol Pot?
Al Gore: Number Six. Ecellent! Thanks!
I don't know what kind of Dean, Jeff Richards does, but it took forever to read this since I know Hammond does Gore. ;-)
11
posted on
12/31/2003 6:35:06 AM PST
by
StriperSniper
(Sending the Ba'thist to the showers! ;-)
To: Texas_Dawg
Anytime they do a Gore parody it's hysterical.
12
posted on
12/31/2003 6:35:14 AM PST
by
visualops
(I don't need no steenking tagline!)
To: Texas_Dawg; patton; deport; Pubbie; xsmommy; Corin Stormhands; Mudboy Slim; ...
ROTFL!! Thanks for the ping.
13
posted on
12/31/2003 6:37:11 AM PST
by
Coop
(God bless our troops!)
To: visualops
Anytime they do a Gore parody it's hysterical. Darrell Hammond has to be one of the best impersonators I've ever seen.
14
posted on
12/31/2003 6:40:56 AM PST
by
Texas_Dawg
(Waging war against the American "worker".)
To: Paladin2b
Howie
Your comments really crack me up,
Id have to say youre funny.
As funny as a hemorrhoid,
Or as a nose thats runny.
Saddams capture no big deal,
Your stance is still the same.
Youre really sucking big on this,
Id say your brain is lame.
But tell me Howie, I must know,
These speeches, just who writes them?
Katie Couric comes to mind,
Or Michael Moore, is it him?
Well Doctor Dean you make me sick,
Malpractice, I will sue you.
Please get a clue, Ill sell you one,
John Kerry needs a few too.
Conspiracy Guy 12/16/03
Squeaky
Sometimes you sound conservative,
Then your whine starts running.
Youre fourth or worse among the nine,
So for you, no ones gunning.
Take comfort that you have a job,
The dems arent picking you.
Your buddy Als endorsing Dean,
Count that a blessing too.
You couldnt win as running mates,
Just tell big Al to stuff it.
Go Loserman should be your name,
From now on you must rough it.
Conspiracy Guy 12/22/03
15
posted on
12/31/2003 6:41:25 AM PST
by
Conspiracy Guy
(Clues for sale, 20 % off through Jan 1, 2004. Don't be clueless, buy yours today.)
To: visualops
I loved Hammond's Gore in the SNL right after the 2000 election.... "Clearly, the only practical solution, as any fair-minded person would agree, is to have a revote among the African-American and elderly Jewish residents of Palm Beach county with simple, clearly-readable ballots printed in English, Hebrew and Ebonics. Let the people vote, and let the chips fall where they may."
16
posted on
12/31/2003 6:44:03 AM PST
by
Sloth
("I feel like I'm taking crazy pills!" -- Jacobim Mugatu, 'Zoolander')
To: Sloth
The Gore/Bush debate skit, where Gore says "lock box" innumerable times, and Bush sums up his campaign with the word "strategery", is an all-time classic. I don't think many people realize that's where "strategery" originated.
After the golden days of Ackroyd and Belushi, SNL really hadn't been particularly funny of late. The political parodies have been SNL's only recent high point. Another great skit: President Gore, trying to give a speech. Camera pans back, you see empty pizza boxes strewn about, and ex-pres Clinton comes on camera, in t-shirt and bathrobe, complaining they are out of beer. LOL
17
posted on
12/31/2003 6:55:24 AM PST
by
visualops
(I don't need no steenking tagline!)
To: visualops
Bump!
18
posted on
12/31/2003 6:58:15 AM PST
by
Coop
(God bless our troops!)
To: visualops
The Gore/Bush debate skit, where Gore says "lock box" innumerable times, and Bush sums up his campaign with the word "strategery", is an all-time classic. I don't think many people realize that's where "strategery" originated. Those SNL skits clearly came off making Gore look worse than Bush. They were a huge boost to Bush in that campaign and Gore was reportedly rattled by them. I hope SNL continues to feature Hammond's Gore impersonation as the next election gets closer.
19
posted on
12/31/2003 7:07:44 AM PST
by
Texas_Dawg
(Waging war against the American "worker".)
To: Paladin2b
Al Gore: Now, some people don't approve of gay marriage, but I'm with Howard Dean. Why shouldn't gays marry? They let people like George W. Bush get married! Very funny stuff. I wish I could have seen it. Thanks for posting the transcript.
20
posted on
12/31/2003 8:20:42 AM PST
by
alnick
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