[Common Tator]

Could some of the females on FR explain? My analytical skills fail me.

As some of you know I spent most of Christmas week with my oldest daughter, 3 grand daughters and son-in-law. It was almost a perfect week; except for one long (ughh) conversation with my daughter.

She started out with what seemed to resemble an annual job performance review. Along the way she stated that it was not "Good for me to be alone.". She suggested a "Social Life" was what I needed. My impression is that seeing me single and happy are two states she could not in good conscience allow me to enjoy.

I managed to bite my tongue even when she said I was aging quickly. I have aged a lot in the last year or so, but that in my view has to do with the loss of her Mom, not with the state of being single. In any event I escaped without being subjected to introductions to assorted females she undoubtedly has in mind.

I got home Saturday evening to a ringing phone call from the youngest Daughter. She proposed to come over Sunday evening for a meal and a gift exchange including brother Tom. She came over to cook Sunday evening dinner. This morning I discovered that everything in the kitchen had been moved from where I wanted it, back to where her mother kept it. Her mother had a very complex kitchen organizing plan... He mom's kitchen organization plan, it seems to me, was to put everything where I could not possibly find it. The phrase... "Like mother.. Like daughter" comes to mind.

During the gift exchange I discovered the obvious collusion between the sisters. They young one started on the same subject her older one had broached. She did the, "You don't eat right, sleep right, or do much of anything properly". She was into the "what I need is a female keeper" (she did not phrase it quite that way).. when Son Tom interrupted her to say he had taken care of my poor diet problem. He asked me to open one of his presents.... It was 100 bucks worth of Mickey D's coupons.

His idea that a double quarter pounder, fries and a coke constitutes a well balanced diet, got her off my back and on to his. I need to find a way to pay that young man back. No greater love exists than a son taking heat from a female for his pop.

I wonder if any male has ever achieved the combined states of married and happy... To me it resembles the pursuit of the Holy Grail. My experience is every time a male thinks he has achieved a good situation with a mate, he finds she thinks he has done something terrible like breathing too often or being whatever she doesn't want him to be at the moment but did want him to be yesterday.

Oh... the young daughter did ask me if it ever occurred to me to mop the kitchen floor. I told her those floor stains were really a modern art representation of the Rosetta Stone ..... She has that eye roll down to a T.

Perhaps I should get to be closer to my sons-in-law.. They might help me escape these dastardly female plans to ruin my miserable future. I only fear that misery likes company.

[Neets]

Find seven different women to date, each on a different night of the week.

Let the daughters know each afternoon that you will be going: out to dinner; to a movie; drinks and dancing; long walks on the beach; cruising in the car at night; etc, etc.

I bet before long they won't bring the subject up again.

[Iowa Granny]

1) Your daughters are worried about you.

Most likely, they have talked to enough people since the death of their Mother, to understand it is typical for the remaining spouse to experience a 'very difficult time' over the Holidays with memories of Holidays Past.

Since I don't know them or you it's difficult to decipher their intentions, but it's my guess they were trying to keep you occupied this week so as not to give you time alone to think about Holidays past.

2) Your kitchen was reorganized because clearly you are not capable to keeping things where they belong. (So, take a day and put them back where you want them,, it's a small price to pay for having loving daughters who care about you.... Get over it ;>) It could be worse. They could move back in with you.)

3) You have the right idea regarding getting your Son in Law on your side. It probably won't be difficult to do if she moves his shaving cream and razor around behind his back.

In short, these girls intend to take their Mother's place in your life as far as taking care of you (and I'm really disappointed in you that you didn't ask the girl who complained about your kitchen floor to give you a demonstration on how it's done).

One girl came right out and told you that you need female influence in your life, so it's pretty clear to me what she thinks it's time for you to do. I will side with you on this one. I happen to believe a lone spouse will seek out companionship from the other sex when they're darned good and ready and no one should be hurried.

I think you could remedy part of these complaints from your daughters by hiring someone to come in and hit the 'high spots' in your home (having someone come in to vacuum the floors, scrub the kitchen & bathroom and do a bit of dusting). Of course this will necessitate YOU going thru the house and removing the clutter from beside the chair in front of the TV and tending to the pile on the kitchen table or beside the phone or whereever it is you keep that little pile of stuff which everyone seems to have BEFORE the housekeeper arrives. Most housekeepers don't do clutter.

Your daughters love you and are concerned about you. Fussing at you is their way of showing it. You haven't mentioned a need to bail them out of jail recently, so count your blessings and redo your cupboards to suit yourself!

[Jemian]

a gift exchange including brother Tom.

What I would like to know is... who ended up with Tom?

[Jemian]

She was into the "what I need is a female keeper

Perhaps you should mention, um, Dolly to her.

[gulfcoast6]

You hit it on the head for sure and me? I have my set ways, places to put things, how I clean my room (which is never right), the way I was my dishes (same story, second verse) but bless her heart, she means well, but now I have TWO on me, daughter and grand daughter. When I have my down days over my wife I can truthfully say, both are there to lean on.

[Neets]

Sorry, guess my humor went over flat.

Didn't mean to offend.

[prairiebreeze]

Sorry to read of your loss Common Tator. I think Iowa Granny hit a lot of good points in her post. Sounds like they are concerned that you aren't taking care of yourself...in various ways. This may not be true, but they compare how you are today to how you were back then. And since there are differences now, they try to make things seem more like they are used to (in a way). It's a difficult perception for them to adjust.

Sounds to me you are blessed with caring family. That's a good thing ;^).

Prairie

[Holding Our Breath]

Tator,

My Dad once remarked that my mother isn't gone; I'm still here! Seems I get on him just like she did. This Christmas the best present I received was a card just for me exclaiming he doesn't tell me enough how much he loves me and values me as a "friend". The fact that he thinks of me as a friend is the best present ever!

Your daughters are just showing you they are still there for you and love you very much!