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ZOT: How to Tell a Democrat from a Republican During the Holiday Season
stanford.edu ^ | John Carlson

Posted on 12/04/2003 6:18:33 AM PST by ding a ling hear them ring

Republican say "Merry Christmas!"
Democrats say "Happy Holidays!"

Republicans help the poor during the holidays by sending $50 to the Salvation Army.
Democrats help the poor by giving $50, one buck at a time, to panhandlers on the street.

Democrats get back at Republicans on their Christmas list by giving them fruitcakes.
Republicans re-wrap them and send them to in-laws.

Democrats let their kids open all the gifts on Christmas Eve.
Republicans make their kids wait until Christmas morning

When toasting the Holidays, Republicans ask for sherry or mulled wine.
Democrats ask for egg nog.

When not in stores, Republicans use a catalog.
Democrats watch for "incredible tv offers" on late night television.

Democrats do a lot of their shopping at Cost-Co and WalMart.
So do Republicans, but they don't admit it.

Democrats give their children gifts that make a political statement.
Republicans give their children gifts that will keep them out of their hair.

Republican parents have no problem buying their kids toy guns.
Democrats refuse to do so. That is why their kids pretend to shoot each other with dolls.

Republicans spend hundreds of dollars and hour of work decorating the yard with outdoor lights and Christmas displays.
Democrats save their time and money and drive around at night to enjoy the scenery.

Democrats favorite Christmas movie is "Miracle on 34th Street."
Republicans favorite Christmas movie is "It's a Wonderful Life."
Right-Wing Republicans favorite Christmas movie is "Diehard".

Republicans always take the price tag off any expensive gifts they buy before wrapping.
Democrats also remove price tags off pricey gifts ... and reposition them them to make sure they are seen.

Republicans wear wide red ties and green sport jackets during the festive season.
Democrats do too, all year round.

Most Republicans try, at least once, enclosing indulgent, wretchedly maudlin form letters about their families in their Christmas Cards.
Public ridicule from Democrats usually discourages them from doing it again.

Democrats favorite Christmas song is "Deck the Halls".
Young Democrats favorite Christmas song is "Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer."
Republicans favorite Christmas song is " White Christmas."
Young Republicans favorite Christmas song is "White Christmas".

Cheapskate Republicans buy an artificial Christmas tree.
Tightfisted Democrats buy a real tree, but they wait until the week before Christmas when the lots lower their prices.

Democratic men like to watch football while their wives, girlfriends or mothers fix holiday meals.
On this, Republicans are in full agreement.

Republicans see nothing wrong with letting their children play "Cowboys and Indians".
Democrats don't either, as long as the Indians get to win.

Republicans first began thinking like Republicans when they stopped believing in Santa Claus...
Democrats became Democrats because they never stopped believing in Santa Claus...


TOPICS:
KEYWORDS: buttcrackdiplomacy; dailytroll; strikeupthebanned; thisaccountisbanned; zot
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To: ding a ling hear them ring
Right-Wing Republicans favorite Christmas movie is "Diehard".

Yeah!

Republicans favorite Christmas song is " White Christmas." Young Republicans favorite Christmas song is "White Christmas".

Or AC/DC's "Mistress for Christmas"

Democratic men like to watch football while their wives, girlfriends or mothers fix holiday meals.

Democrat men hate football and want to ban it since it's 'unsafe'. They prefer the ice capades......

81 posted on 12/04/2003 11:02:43 AM PST by Dan from Michigan (To SCOTUS "We're not gonna take it! Never did and never well......let's forget you, better still!")
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To: boxerblues
I don't have it yet but the new A Christmas Story DVD (2 disc) reportedly has a documentary on the Leg Lamp...
82 posted on 12/04/2003 11:02:52 AM PST by weegee
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To: smith288
"Lamps Got LEGS!!!"
83 posted on 12/04/2003 11:03:39 AM PST by weegee
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To: Admin Moderator
I'm curious as to why this thread hasn't been moved to chat seeing as how news articles on celebrity scandals and vanities about other websites are constantly being moved there.

This isn't directed to whoever sits at the admin desk in particular, I just recall that in the past week or so a lot of threads got moved to moose and cheese land. Some of those news articles were later reposted by people who did not know of the chat threads.

I have not tested the retooled FR to see if News and General interest matches will now appear in a Search. Time was that a search in News would not find a "moose and cheese" General thread. Some well intentioned people would see this as a clear shot to posting a "non-duplicate" thread.

84 posted on 12/04/2003 11:09:09 AM PST by weegee
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To: weegee
This is our daily troll. I moved it to chat.
85 posted on 12/04/2003 11:19:22 AM PST by Admin Moderator
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To: Admin Moderator
Thanks. I knew who it was (and I think he played this same game last year using Christmas sounding user names). I understand the reason for moving some threads (Jim and the moderators have been good about re-emphasizing the main area of news for FR).

This clearly was chat (and not even locally posted since it was a troll).

I'd like to make one request for the next time changes are implemented in FR. When a thread is moved from News to General, the keywords field clears out.

I'd also like to see a way to search by keyword. Right now this can be accomplished by clicking on a keyword and then editing the URL line at the top of a webbrowser. Maybe there is already a way to do this and I just don't know about it.

Thanks again.

86 posted on 12/04/2003 11:37:30 AM PST by weegee
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To: weegee
John has a software thread going right now
87 posted on 12/04/2003 11:48:14 AM PST by Admin Moderator
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To: msdrby
ping
88 posted on 12/04/2003 11:52:41 AM PST by Prof Engineer (Labrador Retriever~from The Latin, meaning~ Affection Sponge)
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To: weegee
a documentary on the Leg Lamp...lol this should be good!
89 posted on 12/04/2003 12:43:28 PM PST by boxerblues (If you can read this.. Thank a Teacher..If you can read this in English ..Thank a US Soldier)
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To: ding a ling hear them ring
You really must be one sorry SOB that you enjoy being banned like this.
If your life is in this desperate a need for validation, I suggest therapy for your pathetic existence.
But for therapy to work, you must first acknowledge that you have a problem to begin with.
With your obviously limited mental faculties, this is impossible.
So I'm afraid you are doomed to imbecility for the rest of your life.
90 posted on 12/04/2003 2:21:45 PM PST by Darksheare (Ignore the wombats, they're a diversion! My 3 million psychotic chinchilla army is the real threat!)
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To: Darksheare
He's been doing this every year (and every day) during Christmas. What a waste...
91 posted on 12/05/2003 1:54:25 AM PST by weegee
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To: weegee
Kinda figured it was the same guy.
It just was way too dejavu like to be anyone else.
92 posted on 12/05/2003 3:44:25 AM PST by Darksheare (Ignore the wombats, they're a diversion! My 3 million psychotic chinchilla army is the real threat!)
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To: ding a ling hear them ring
"Republicans first began thinking like Republicans when they stopped believing in Santa Claus...

"Democrats became Democrats because they never stopped believing in Santa Claus..."


Now hold on a frozen minute! A former Democrat myself, as well as a believer in the Right Jolly Old Elf, it is in part because God blessed me with sufficient imagination and the ability to dream that I instead chose the Republican Party as the best overall representative of my political philosophies.

Democrats are more likely the ones to pull Santa's beard and take your toys to give to others on Santa's naughty list, and then call you heartless and cruel.
93 posted on 12/05/2003 11:36:41 AM PST by Chummy (Billary in Baghdad was for Political Purposes)
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To: Arrowhead1952
"One key is hidden in her purse and one is for one of her friends."

If she's a blonde, how will she ever find her key? : )
94 posted on 12/05/2003 11:40:19 AM PST by Chummy (Billary in Baghdad was for Political Purposes)
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