ZOT: How to Tell a Democrat from a Republican During the Holiday Season

stanford.edu ^ | John Carlson

[ding a ling hear them ring]

Republican say "Merry Christmas!"
Democrats say "Happy Holidays!"

Republicans help the poor during the holidays by sending $50 to the Salvation Army.
Democrats help the poor by giving $50, one buck at a time, to panhandlers on the street.

Democrats get back at Republicans on their Christmas list by giving them fruitcakes.
Republicans re-wrap them and send them to in-laws.

Democrats let their kids open all the gifts on Christmas Eve.
Republicans make their kids wait until Christmas morning

When toasting the Holidays, Republicans ask for sherry or mulled wine.
Democrats ask for egg nog.

When not in stores, Republicans use a catalog.
Democrats watch for "incredible tv offers" on late night television.

Democrats do a lot of their shopping at Cost-Co and WalMart.
So do Republicans, but they don't admit it.

Democrats give their children gifts that make a political statement.
Republicans give their children gifts that will keep them out of their hair.

Republican parents have no problem buying their kids toy guns.
Democrats refuse to do so. That is why their kids pretend to shoot each other with dolls.

Republicans spend hundreds of dollars and hour of work decorating the yard with outdoor lights and Christmas displays.
Democrats save their time and money and drive around at night to enjoy the scenery.

Democrats favorite Christmas movie is "Miracle on 34th Street."
Republicans favorite Christmas movie is "It's a Wonderful Life."
Right-Wing Republicans favorite Christmas movie is "Diehard".

Republicans always take the price tag off any expensive gifts they buy before wrapping.
Democrats also remove price tags off pricey gifts ... and reposition them them to make sure they are seen.

Republicans wear wide red ties and green sport jackets during the festive season.
Democrats do too, all year round.

Most Republicans try, at least once, enclosing indulgent, wretchedly maudlin form letters about their families in their Christmas Cards.
Public ridicule from Democrats usually discourages them from doing it again.

Democrats favorite Christmas song is "Deck the Halls".
Young Democrats favorite Christmas song is "Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer."
Republicans favorite Christmas song is " White Christmas."
Young Republicans favorite Christmas song is "White Christmas".

Cheapskate Republicans buy an artificial Christmas tree.
Tightfisted Democrats buy a real tree, but they wait until the week before Christmas when the lots lower their prices.

Democratic men like to watch football while their wives, girlfriends or mothers fix holiday meals.
On this, Republicans are in full agreement.

Republicans see nothing wrong with letting their children play "Cowboys and Indians".
Democrats don't either, as long as the Indians get to win.

Republicans first began thinking like Republicans when they stopped believing in Santa Claus...
Democrats became Democrats because they never stopped believing in Santa Claus...

[freeangel]

I love it!

[Blueflag]

Amen, because their father/dad was there to discipline the couple's child.

My kids have never been permitted to show disrespect to their mother without correction and retribution. They know the rules.

"wait til your father gets home" still happens in our house. It's not a threat - it's a promise. They know the rules and the principles underpinning them.

[Chi-townChief]

How's the Tribe lookin' for next year? I have high hopes but, of course, I had them for the Browns this season.

[Polybius]

Republican say "Merry Christmas!" Democrats say "Happy Holidays!" AFTER ALL, ONLY A CHRISTIAN CAN BE A REPUBLICAN..... RIGHT?

Not at all.

Republicans say "Happy Chaunaka!"

Democrats say "Happy Holidays!"

[gcruse]

And, Democrats think of the U.S. Government as their ultimate Santa Claus, and the federal budget symbolizes Santa's Gift List for all good boys and girls (Democrats).

Close.

Democrats think of the US Government as Santa Claus.
Republicans make it so.

[Arrowhead1952]

"wait til your father gets home" still happens in our house. It's not a threat - it's a promise. They know the rules and the principles underpinning them.

How funny you posted this reply. My 18 yr old daughter (yes, blond) locked her keys in her car two times in two days. That is exactly what her mother told her.

She can't use her car for one week, except for school. She also got an additional assignment from me. She has to get three estimates (two locksmiths and one towing company) for coming out to unlock the car.

The combined cost of the three is what she has to give up as part of her punishment. She also has to get three additional keys made and buy a "Hide-a-key" for her car. One key is hidden in her purse and one is for one of her friends.

[hellinahandcart]

Oh, I know, this one's here every day. But it is starting to sound like it got a visit from the Ghost of Christmas Future.

"Come into the light, ding-a-ling! You know you want to!"

[boxerblues]

Republicans use the "F-Word" in front of their mother only once in their entire life.

You got to say it once???? If we even looked like our mouths were going to form that word or any other "dirty" word, we got wacked up side the head

[Eaker]

info@leglamps.com

[Polybius]

You got to say it once???? If we even looked like our mouths were going to form that word or any other "dirty" word, we got wacked up side the head

Well it happened like this......

The family was out for a drive. We had a flat tire....It just slipped out....Mom was going nuts....She asked me where I had ever heard such a word but I didn't want to blame Dad....So I blurted out the name of a friend....And my Mom called his Mom....And his Mom beat the cr#p out of him......I could hear the beating and his screams over the phone when Mom pulled the phone away from her ear......And I had to sit with a bar of soap in my mouth for....

Well....I gotta go now. That soap taste is returning just by thinking about it and I need to go rinse my mouth out.

[Grampa Dave]

Actually: Democrats call it Evil White Imperalists working for evil Corporations versus poor Native Americans for evil profits.

[Polybius]

Hey, what happened to the lunch box pictures in my Post 53?

[Grampa Dave]

Why was the poster zotted on this.

We have pseudo conservatives on Free Republic who hate our President and Republicans 24/7. Their posts and replies are constantly hate GW and Republicans, yet they seldom get zotted or banned.

[boxerblues]

[Gritty]

Republicans want to put CHRIST in Christmas.
Democrats want to put Christ in jail.

[tioga]

-but, they make a smaller desk version???

[kevao]

The leg lamp in the movie came from Italy, I think.

[kevao]

An oldie, but a goodie...

"The Difference Between Republicans & Democrats"

It took me years to figure out the real differences between Democrats
and Republicans and this little story says it all.

A Republican and a Democrat were walking down the street when they came
to a homeless person. The Republican gave the homeless person his
business card and told him come to his business for a job. He then took
twenty dollars out of his pocket and gave it to the homeless person.

The Democrat was very impressed, and when they came to another homeless
person, he decided to help. He walked over to the homeless person and
gave him directions to the welfare office. He then reached into the
Republican's pocket, took fifty dollars, and gave it to the homeless
person.

[WhiteGuy]

I couple of additions

Republicans help the poor during the holidays by sending $50 to the Salvation Army.
Democrats help the poor by giving $50, one buck at a time, to panhandlers on the street.
Libertarians have helped the "poor" enough already by having their taxes confiscated from their checks.


When toasting the Holidays, Republicans ask for sherry or mulled wine.
Democrats ask for egg nog.
Libertarians go for Single Malt

When not in stores, Republicans use a catalog.
Democrats watch for "incredible tv offers" on late night television.
Libertarians just give cash, so the recipient can take advantage of the sales.

Democrats do a lot of their shopping at Cost-Co and WalMart.
So do Republicans, but they don't admit it.
Libertarians.........see above

Democrats give their children gifts that make a political statement.
Republicans give their children gifts that will keep them out of their hair.
Libertarians give their children toys they want.

Republican parents have no problem buying their kids toy guns.
Democrats refuse to do so. That is why their kids pretend to shoot each other with dolls.
Libertarians buy their kids REAL guns, and teach them accordingly,


Republicans always take the price tag off any expensive gifts they buy before wrapping.
Democrats also remove price tags off pricey gifts ... and reposition them them to make sure they are seen.
Libertarians........Cash again

Republicans wear wide red ties and green sport jackets during the festive season.
Democrats do too, all year round.

Most Republicans try, at least once, enclosing indulgent, wretchedly maudlin form letters about their families in their Christmas Cards.
Public ridicule from Democrats usually discourages them from doing it again.
Libertarians e-mail

Democrats favorite Christmas song is "Deck the Halls".
Young Democrats favorite Christmas song is "Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer."
Republicans favorite Christmas song is " White Christmas."
Young Republicans favorite Christmas song is "White Christmas".
Libertarians favorite is "Santa Claus is Coming to Town" by Bruce Springsteen and the E-Street Band

Cheapskate Republicans buy an artificial Christmas tree.
Tightfisted Democrats buy a real tree, but they wait until the week before Christmas when the lots lower their prices.
Libertarians try to plan a Christmas trip to a relative's house.

Democratic men like to watch football while their wives, girlfriends or mothers fix holiday meals.
On this, Republicans are in full agreement.
Libertarians go to Ponderosa or Waffle House.

[weegee]

Democrats help the poor by giving $50, one buck at a time, to panhandlers on the street.

BS. There was a documentary where candidate co-president Hillary Clinton's entourage refused to give a pan handler a dollar (and it was snowing I believe). They kept offering him campaign buttons instead.

Democrats will reach into someone else's pocket to give that $50.