Kitty Caption XXXI – Cats Plan World Domination – (Humor/Meow Alerts)

1 December 2003 | PetroniDE

[PetroniDE]

OK, back to work today for most of us. I hope everyone had a happy Thanksgiving holiday, ate lots of turkey (giving a little to the cats on the side), and finished all your holiday shopping.

I hear a new Bond movie is coming out with the familiar "world domination" theme. One significant difference: the evil-doers are not Russian, Chinese, or some scientist gone-mad. It is our beloved friend, the cat.

Some of you have seen this e-mail but since it hasn’t been posted in over a year, think it is time for a refresher.

TOP SIXTEEN SIGNS YOUR CAT MAY BE PLOTTING WORLD DOMINATION
16. Sits on your newspaper in the morning and carefully reads the coded message that Garfield sends out every day
15. Used to sleep on top of TV, now monitors CNN 24 hours a day
14. Notably absent from home during surprise feline invasion of Poland
13. When you enter room, Snowball and other members of the Tri-Cateral Commission stop talking and begin playing with yarn
12. Behind the couch you find a forged passport, plane tickets and nine suicide bombs
11. What you thought was "heat"; is actually a four-legged goose step
10. Well "somebody" subscribed to alt.cats.world.domination
9. Autopsy of the last mouse left on your doormat reveals "tattoo" to be blueprint of the UN building
8. Constantly petting that bald man he keeps on his lap
7. Kitty Chow spilled on the floow spells out "Drop the car keys and leave the door open or the dog gets it in the head"
6. Then -- dead mice in the kitchen. Now -- dead third world dictators in the basement
5. Judging from the kitchen, he seems to be working on some kind of "land mine" technology
4. Fluffy is now sleeping only 21 hours a day, down from 23
3. Has recently been acting somewhat...aloof
2. What your cat lacks in charisma and good looks, he makes up for with his ruthless handling of rival software companies
1. Somehow, you're now subscribed to "Felines of Fortune" magazine

We slipped into this secret meeting

I thought we slipped in/out without being spotted, but suddenly not so certain

This is their ring-leader, looks like the evil cousin to the white Viking Kitty

We sent special agent to thwart plot; until his/her successful return

I will not be posting again until tomorrow. Have a little trip of my own planned today. I hope THIS doesn’t happen to me

[PetroniDE]

Kitty Humor is weekly thread on FR in the “General Interest” section. Among all the serious news, a little humor (especially early in the work-week is a welcome diversion). More often than not, our little furry friends uh, uh, masters serve as willing subjects uh, uh, graciously allow us to use their images in that regard. If you want on/off the kitty humor list (109 members) or you have a picture/animation you want featured, please send me freep-mail.

[PetroniDE]

Good Morning --- Feed the Cat (or else) PING.

[dixie sass]

Good morning Petroni and Feline Friends!!

I will be putting a new crop of Catnip in the spring and hope that it will turn out as good as the crop I grew several years ago. If I can get enough dried and put up I'm thinking about going into business as a purveyor of quality catnip! Maybe. If the neighborhoods don't get it first. Hmmmmmmmmmm, guess I'll have to put armed guards out. Oh dear, do you think the Viking Kitties could be trusted to guard to the Catnip?

[sweetliberty]

"do you think the Viking Kitties could be trusted to guard to the Catnip?"

As a former grower of primo catnip and owner pet human of a cat who fancies himself the Supreme Guardian of the world's catnip supply, I would have to say, NO, not even viking kitties should be trusted with the crops!

.

.

[dixie sass]

I just read what I wrote earlier today! Geeze! Anyway, I guess that I could hire a few "dawgs" to guard the crop!

[abner]

Here is our new kitty...

Trouble

[Lady Jag]

They set traps and then dare you to pass.

[Lady Jag]

That is the cutest Trouble I've ever seen. Viking kitten in training, I assume.

[Lady Jag]

You open the closet door and get the wits scared out of you

[abner]

That is the cutest Trouble I've ever seen. Viking kitten in training, I assume.

Yes, he is adorable trouble. . . Definitely Viking Kitten material. Lord Viking material..

[Prof Engineer]

ping

[StrictTime]

Can you believe that the first thought I had when I saw the pictures of your sweet kitty was: If I get a divorce, I can have a kitten!

My husband is allergic, but I love cats with a passion. I hope you enjoy every moment with Trouble. You are very fortunate!

ST

[Lady Jag]

[Lady Jag]

That's it. I want more cats. And your black one? He/she looks like my dearly departed Merlin; what a guy.

[abner]

We have 3 at home now and 3 at the office.
The black one is totally deaf. His name is DC. He is about 8 months old. He is a tabby if you can imagine a black on black stripe!

[rface]

.you can listen to this song by clicking here and then clicking the appropriate link: (it takes a while to load even broadband)
"When Cats Take Over The World"

The world’s in bad shape indeed, there’s too much anger and greed
But I can see through the gloom, change is coming soon
When folks will be very nice and tuna will plummet in price

When cats take over the world everyone will be kind
You could jump on the counter and eat whatever you find
You could cough up a hair ball and no one would mind
Maybe we’d all purr when cats take over the world

Doors will be against the law, everyone will keep their claws
Dogs will be shown no mercy, they’ll be shipped to New Jersey
There will be no more cars, cat haters will be sent to Mars

When cats take over the world, all trouble will cease
You could jump on the bookcase and knock over whatever you please
You could clean your butthole in front of company
In public we could hurl, when cats take over the world

We’ll stare into thin air and pretend there’s something there
We’ll learn meditation and perfect manipulation
No one will ever get wet or have to go to the vet

When cats take over the world
When cats take over the world

[Lady Jag]

Do you have a photo that shows his stripes? I went back at looked at the several photos with DC and now you have my curiosity up (meow).

[abner]

I'll take a look when I get home. I don't know how well his stripes photograph.

[Lady Jag]

Do the stripes appear more prominent in the tail like some otherwise solid color cats? I'm wondering if he's part Siamese. Also, it's odd for a cat to be deaf unless it's white with blue eyes...

[rface]

I have also noted that younger cats will have more pronounced stripes - but they kind of mute as the puss gets older. I have pictures of our tabby as a kitten and then as a one year old. The tabby stripes kind-a wore off as he got older