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Posted on 11/11/2026 3:55:24 AM PST by DFG
WASHINGTON, D.C. — Contrary to popular belief, Republican lawmakers are reportedly glad that they lost the election because now they will have an excuse for not getting anything done.
When the new Congress begins on January 3, Republicans will no longer be in charge, which means they can sit back and relax instead of pretending to work. Now, when the country plunges into an economic recession due to poor economic policies, and prices spiral further out of control, Republicans can just sort of shrug.
"It's a huge relief," said Senate Majority Leader John Thune. "So glad I don't have to keep pretending I don't have the votes for the Save Act. Gives me more time to plan the next dog parade. This year the theme is Dune!"
"It's been really hard being in charge," Mike Johnson, the outgoing Speaker of the House, said. "All those eyes looking at you for guidance. Man, I just want to go bowling. Can't people see that?"
Democrats admitted they have big shoes to fill. "I don't credit the Republicans for much, but we've been very impressed by how little they accomplished," said Sen. Chuck Schumer, who may be in line to be majority leader in the Senate. "But I'm not sure I can care so little."
At publishing time, conservative commentators also said they were thankful for the election outcome, noting that they could now complain about do-nothing Democrats instead of do-nothing Republicans.
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Not satire,it IS the real news@
100% True
1% Funny
The House actually did a lot of good. It was the Senate where the bills went to die... And the scumbags just made Thune the majority leader AGAIN!
I was shocked that it was from the bee. This is not satire at all. This is 100% accurate. Republicans always felt comfortable being in the minority. now all they can do is complain. they do that very well. Don’t forget Mike Johnson keeps his pay as speaker even though he’s not speaker anymore because they do not ever decrease their congressional pay. That’s just one of many laws that I find atrocious. Nancy Pelosi also got paid her highest earnings for the rest of her time in Congress. only in January will she get a decrease with her pension?
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