Mamdani's Misplaced Mourning

Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 30 August 2026 | John Semmens

[John Semmens]

While every decent person in America was saddened by the death of Dolly Parton, New York City Mayor Zohran Mamdani (D) announced that he was "deeply saddened by the death of 41-year-old Clarence Woodward who was languishing in our NYC jail for more than two years. He tragically was denied his day in court and had no chance to prove his innocence. My thoughts are with his family and loved ones as they grieve this loss."

Newly appointed City Department of Correction Commissioner Stanley Richards called Woodward's death "a tragedy that we will be thoroughly investigating. Our department mourns the loss of Clarence Woodward and we share our deepest condolences with his family and loved ones. I was in prison for robbery in the 1980s, but unlike Mr. Woodward, I was lucky enough to have survived incarceration."

Woodward died in the Riker's Island jail where he was awaiting trial for murder. A 2024 video from a Bronx laundromat showed him stabbing Jose Miranda from behind and killing him. He also unsuccessfully attempted to murder a homeless man who was sleeping at a laundromat. Woodward previously spent five years in prison for robbery and had more than two dozen previous arrests including four felony robbery arrests, five assaults and several weapons, drug possession and larceny charges.

Bronx residents were surprised by Mamdani's remarks. Neighborhood barber Alfredo Avila said "Woodward was kind of crazy. He was always on drugs. A lot of people would talk bad about him. The guy he killed was a nice guy who didn't look for trouble with nobody."

Angel Miranda--Jose's brother--explained that "Jose had an arrangement with the laundromat owners that he would look after the place in exchange for being allowed to sleep there. He would sweep up and mop it, make it look nice."

Herman Gonzalez, manager of a local supermarket, said "Miranda was well liked on the block. The Mayor shouldn't be shedding a tear for the assassin. He should realize why Woodward was in jail."

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TOPICS: Government; Politics
KEYWORDS: criminals; murder; nyc; satire

[bobbo666]

The sympathy for a felon is typical commie trash rhetoric. Once dead you can be sympathetic as it is a good bet he willnot hurt anyone else.

[Resolute Conservative]

“Newly appointed City Department of Correction Commissioner Stanley Richards called Woodward’s death “a tragedy that we will be thoroughly investigating. Our department mourns the loss of Clarence Woodward and we share our deepest condolences with his family and loved ones. I was in prison for robbery in the 1980s”

So, the commissioner was in jail for a felony. Way to go NY.

[chopperk]

Mami maybe a citizen but he doesn’t think like an American. He is strictly a muslim.

[Verginius Rufus]

Will Mamdani issue a statement next week lamenting the deaths of the 19 heroic pilots on 9/11?