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To Avoid Criticism For Hooking Up With His Cousin, Troy Jackson Converts To Islam
Babylon Bee ^ | 07/31/2026 | Babylon Bee

Posted on 07/31/2026 12:47:21 PM PDT by DFG

ALLAGASH, ME — Maine Senate candidate Troy Jackson reportedly converted to Islam as a way to evade criticism for hooking up with his cousin.

Jackson said Islam is "totally what he believes in" after learning it's normal for them to marry their cousins.

"Heck, we're not even married, but I guess that's not good enough for those Christian types," Jackson said. "Fortunately, them Muslims are totally cool with it."

Jackson said he got the idea after realizing Minnesota Representative Ilhan Omar had quite the saucy affair with her brother and no one batted an eye.

"Looks like I finally put this scandal to bed," Jackson said, relieved. "My cousin, too."

Jackson's numbers among conservative Christians reportedly cratered after he converted to Islam, but sources within his campaign said the support among liberals (who make up most of Maine) more than makes up for it.

Longtime Maine resident Stephen King, who famously wrote a story where a bunch of young boys essentially band together to assault a girl, said, "Jackson is the obvious choice for this election. He's not like that monster, Trump, who has never slept with his cousin."

At publishing time, Jackson had risen in the polls after receiving a public endorsement from fellow Democrat Ilhan Omar.


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: cousinmarriage; ilhanomar; maine; troyjackson

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1 posted on 07/31/2026 12:47:21 PM PDT by DFG
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To: DFG

So his dick is more important than his faith.


2 posted on 07/31/2026 12:53:26 PM PDT by Fai Mao
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To: DFG

Now do Queen Elizabeth and Prince Phillip. 3rd cousins one one side and 2nd cousins on the other. :-P


3 posted on 07/31/2026 12:54:20 PM PDT by Rightwing Conspiratr1
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To: Fai Mao

Apparently so.


4 posted on 07/31/2026 12:56:04 PM PDT by No name given ( Anonymous is who you’ll know me as )
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To: No name given

We both got stung. It’s the Bee!


5 posted on 07/31/2026 12:56:44 PM PDT by Fai Mao
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To: DFG

Just got back from a trip to ME...there were a lot of worried looks among the goats we passed...


6 posted on 07/31/2026 1:01:14 PM PDT by Adder ("A pack of jackasses led by a lion is superior to a pack of lions led by a jackass.” GW.)
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To: DFG

His campaign slogan should be “Troy Jackson - not a Nazi!”


7 posted on 07/31/2026 1:03:33 PM PDT by nickcarraway
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To: DFG

LOL! Troy jackass.


8 posted on 07/31/2026 1:05:18 PM PDT by PGalt (Past Peak Civilization? )
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To: Rightwing Conspiratr1

IT HELPS EXPLAIN KING CHARLES


9 posted on 07/31/2026 1:37:48 PM PDT by ridesthemiles (not giving up on TRUMP---EVER)
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To: DFG

I have to stop just reading the headlines and read thevsource. This sounded so real that it took a full paragraph before I checked the source.


10 posted on 07/31/2026 1:43:50 PM PDT by xkaydet65 (3)
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To: Fai Mao

Jackson is one messed up dude and will ignore basic principles of humanity to get elected. This clown is not good for America.


11 posted on 07/31/2026 2:27:36 PM PDT by chopperk (,)
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