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Posted on 07/31/2026 12:47:21 PM PDT by DFG
ALLAGASH, ME — Maine Senate candidate Troy Jackson reportedly converted to Islam as a way to evade criticism for hooking up with his cousin.
Jackson said Islam is "totally what he believes in" after learning it's normal for them to marry their cousins.
"Heck, we're not even married, but I guess that's not good enough for those Christian types," Jackson said. "Fortunately, them Muslims are totally cool with it."
Jackson said he got the idea after realizing Minnesota Representative Ilhan Omar had quite the saucy affair with her brother and no one batted an eye.
"Looks like I finally put this scandal to bed," Jackson said, relieved. "My cousin, too."
Jackson's numbers among conservative Christians reportedly cratered after he converted to Islam, but sources within his campaign said the support among liberals (who make up most of Maine) more than makes up for it.
Longtime Maine resident Stephen King, who famously wrote a story where a bunch of young boys essentially band together to assault a girl, said, "Jackson is the obvious choice for this election. He's not like that monster, Trump, who has never slept with his cousin."
At publishing time, Jackson had risen in the polls after receiving a public endorsement from fellow Democrat Ilhan Omar.
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So his dick is more important than his faith.
Now do Queen Elizabeth and Prince Phillip. 3rd cousins one one side and 2nd cousins on the other. :-P
Apparently so.
We both got stung. It’s the Bee!
Just got back from a trip to ME...there were a lot of worried looks among the goats we passed...
His campaign slogan should be “Troy Jackson - not a Nazi!”
LOL! Troy jackass.
IT HELPS EXPLAIN KING CHARLES
I have to stop just reading the headlines and read thevsource. This sounded so real that it took a full paragraph before I checked the source.
Jackson is one messed up dude and will ignore basic principles of humanity to get elected. This clown is not good for America.
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