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Posted on 06/29/2026 12:20:32 PM PDT by DFG
WASHINGTON, D.C. — A woman judge has ruled that being late is "totally fine."
In one of the most predictable rulings in years, a lady judge wrote in the majority opinion that it's okay to run late because women might need to powder their noses or do other woman things.
"We as a society must allow for being late because sometimes women have to change dresses or re-curl their hair," explained lady judge Amy Coney Barrett. "America cannot be governed by the rigid tyranny of calendars or clocks, but instead must follow the needs of females who are trying to decide what top looks most slimming."
Justice Barrett cited legal expert and country music artist Shania Twain in her ruling. "As Ms. Twain famously wrote, 'I can be late for a date, that's fine. But he better be on time.' We cannot stray from the powerful precedent set by Ms. Twain," wrote Barrett. "Say we are supposed to go vote, but our eyebrows don't look good, and we need to go to the lady beauty place and get our eyebrows done. In the words of the great scholar Britney Spears, 'It's my prerogative.'"
At publishing time, the release of the majority opinion had been delayed because the lady judges needed to finish doing their nails.
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The Bee’s inclusion of Barrett makes it almost believable! LOL
I’m sick of her and Roberts. They delay the greatness of America’s return. So much for her uber religious stance while she was in the process of seeking this position.
No more women on the court.
đŸ¤£
What’s the minimum sentence for leaving the seat up?
Babylon Bee is so good. And while they are funny, they really hit the nail on the head so many times.
Just read this to my wife.
She did not find it very funny.
Had to get to the end of the second ‘graph before I saw it was a Bee.
Early is on-time,
- on-time is late,
- - and late is unacceptable.
If shes pregnant it could be a death sentence
ACB rules that being five days late is “fashionable.”
My wife wouldn’t get it. She’s very much a woman, but she’s half-Dutch, so being early trumps everything for the Dutch.
but she’s half-Dutch, so being early trumps everything for the Dutch.
I did and I’m a woman. Maybe you can trade her in.......
Hilary had ‘Nigerian’ time.
It shows a Neanderthal (or earlier human) male arriving for dinner when the lady of the house still has her hair in curlers.
Along with her purse sized, government issued bottles of Hot Sauce. B/c ‘She ‘ain’t no where’s tired!’
So....was the 19th Amendment really a good thing?
Back in April, I was a delegate at the GOP convention in my state, and they had the CEO of the Babylon Bee (Seth Dillon)give a speech to the crowd, and it was absolutely awesome!
He was spot on with his political commentary, and the humor he had mixed and made me laugh the whole way through! Those people have real talent… :-)
The Far Side was absolutely my favorite cartoon ever. I miss it so much… I have the gigantic two volume set of all of his works, which was given to me as a gift…
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