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Woman Rules It's Okay To Be Late
Babylon Bee ^ | 06/29/2026 | Babylon Bee

Posted on 06/29/2026 12:20:32 PM PDT by DFG

WASHINGTON, D.C. — A woman judge has ruled that being late is "totally fine."

In one of the most predictable rulings in years, a lady judge wrote in the majority opinion that it's okay to run late because women might need to powder their noses or do other woman things.

"We as a society must allow for being late because sometimes women have to change dresses or re-curl their hair," explained lady judge Amy Coney Barrett. "America cannot be governed by the rigid tyranny of calendars or clocks, but instead must follow the needs of females who are trying to decide what top looks most slimming."

Justice Barrett cited legal expert and country music artist Shania Twain in her ruling. "As Ms. Twain famously wrote, 'I can be late for a date, that's fine. But he better be on time.' We cannot stray from the powerful precedent set by Ms. Twain," wrote Barrett. "Say we are supposed to go vote, but our eyebrows don't look good, and we need to go to the lady beauty place and get our eyebrows done. In the words of the great scholar Britney Spears, 'It's my prerogative.'"

At publishing time, the release of the majority opinion had been delayed because the lady judges needed to finish doing their nails.


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: amymommybarrett; barrett; scotus

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1 posted on 06/29/2026 12:20:32 PM PDT by DFG
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To: DFG

The Bee’s inclusion of Barrett makes it almost believable! LOL


2 posted on 06/29/2026 12:23:59 PM PDT by Tell It Right (1 Thessalonians 5:21 -- Put everything to the test, hold fast to that which is true.)
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To: DFG

I’m sick of her and Roberts. They delay the greatness of America’s return. So much for her uber religious stance while she was in the process of seeking this position.

No more women on the court.


3 posted on 06/29/2026 12:26:37 PM PDT by YouGoTexasGirl ( )
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To: DFG

đŸ¤£


4 posted on 06/29/2026 12:27:56 PM PDT by FamiliarFace (I got my own way of livin' But everything gets done With a southern accent Where I come from. TPetty)
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To: DFG

What’s the minimum sentence for leaving the seat up?


5 posted on 06/29/2026 12:28:25 PM PDT by MikelTackNailer (Gunpowder, gelatine; dynamite with a laser beam)
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To: DFG

Babylon Bee is so good. And while they are funny, they really hit the nail on the head so many times.


6 posted on 06/29/2026 12:29:58 PM PDT by falcon99 ( )
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To: DFG

Just read this to my wife.

She did not find it very funny.


7 posted on 06/29/2026 12:34:37 PM PDT by Vermont Lt
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To: DFG

Had to get to the end of the second ‘graph before I saw it was a Bee.


8 posted on 06/29/2026 12:34:48 PM PDT by Fido969
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To: DFG

Early is on-time,

- on-time is late,

- - and late is unacceptable.


9 posted on 06/29/2026 12:38:53 PM PDT by Ronaldus Magnus III (Do, or do not, there is no try. )
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To: MikelTackNailer

If shes pregnant it could be a death sentence


10 posted on 06/29/2026 12:48:48 PM PDT by eyeamok
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To: DFG

ACB rules that being five days late is “fashionable.”


11 posted on 06/29/2026 12:52:25 PM PDT by Night Hides Not (Remember the Alamo! Remember Goliad! Remember Gonzales! Come and Take It!)
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To: DFG

My wife wouldn’t get it. She’s very much a woman, but she’s half-Dutch, so being early trumps everything for the Dutch.


12 posted on 06/29/2026 1:22:45 PM PDT by Dr. Sivana ("Whatsoever he shall say to you, do ye." (John 2:5))
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To: Dr. Sivana

but she’s half-Dutch, so being early trumps everything for the Dutch.


When I grew up the clock was set 10 minutes fast so we wouldn’t be late.


13 posted on 06/29/2026 1:26:33 PM PDT by PeterPrinciple ((Thinking Caps are no longer being issued, but there must be a warehouse full of them somewhere))
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To: Vermont Lt

I did and I’m a woman. Maybe you can trade her in.......


14 posted on 06/29/2026 1:31:26 PM PDT by vivenne (7Come to think of it. Fact.)
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To: DFG

Hilary had ‘Nigerian’ time.


15 posted on 06/29/2026 1:35:16 PM PDT by Track9 (Liberal tears make me smile. Thank you DJT!)
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To: Ronaldus Magnus III
There is a "Far Side" cartoon labeled "Early Man."

It shows a Neanderthal (or earlier human) male arriving for dinner when the lady of the house still has her hair in curlers.

16 posted on 06/29/2026 1:38:07 PM PDT by Verginius Rufus
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To: Track9

Along with her purse sized, government issued bottles of Hot Sauce. B/c ‘She ‘ain’t no where’s tired!’


17 posted on 06/29/2026 2:16:29 PM PDT by lee martell
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To: DFG

So....was the 19th Amendment really a good thing?


18 posted on 06/29/2026 2:22:23 PM PDT by citizen (All Bush-era RINOs have got to be primaried out.)
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To: falcon99; DFG

Back in April, I was a delegate at the GOP convention in my state, and they had the CEO of the Babylon Bee (Seth Dillon)give a speech to the crowd, and it was absolutely awesome!

He was spot on with his political commentary, and the humor he had mixed and made me laugh the whole way through! Those people have real talent… :-)


19 posted on 06/29/2026 2:25:51 PM PDT by rlmorel (Factio Communistica Sinensis Delenda Est)
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To: Verginius Rufus

The Far Side was absolutely my favorite cartoon ever. I miss it so much… I have the gigantic two volume set of all of his works, which was given to me as a gift…


20 posted on 06/29/2026 2:27:41 PM PDT by rlmorel (Factio Communistica Sinensis Delenda Est)
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