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Posted on 03/22/2026 8:17:02 AM PDT by Rummyfan
IF YOU HAD HBO IN THE LATE 1980s and early 1990s, odds are good you were never more than a few hours away from a certain type of film. They were straightforward, pleasing pictures: a laconic, sandy-haired American dispensed justice with a minimum of wit and a maximum of roundhouse kicks. Rarely much longer than 105 minutes, you didn’t need to watch them from start to finish; they were almost designed to be watched in bits and pieces. You could pick up the plot as you went: Odds are there were some bad guys in black pajamas and a soldier (or a girl) who needed to be rescued, and only one man capable of doing the job.
Chuck Norris was an early king of home video. A pioneer of VHS classics with escalating numeral modifiers—Delta Force 2: The Colombian Connection, Braddock: Missing in Action III—and a mainstay on pay TV, his films were the sort of silly fun that rarely could withstand the scrutiny of a major theatrical release but were right at home on the small screen. And then, even smaller screens, as Chuck Norris found an odd second life as one of the early internet memes, a sort of Bunyan-esque character on the American scene whose very name became a watchword for comical toughness.
Part of that legend springs from the fact that Norris was the real deal. Unlike so many of the names that eclipsed him in terms of pure international stardom—Schwarzenegger, Stallone, Willis, etc.—Norris was, in fact, a skilled fighter. This is why he was chosen to partake in a showdown against Bruce Lee in The Way of the Dragon. He was the perfect foil for Lee: a burly, hirsute American who was a legit fighter and a renowned martial artist...
(Excerpt) Read more at thebulwark.com ...
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Invasion USA is one such absurdity: One of the most expensive films in the Cannon canon, the film is borderline incoherent, with Norris frequently appearing out of nowhere to deliver nearly spectral justice on a band of Soviet-Cuban guerrillas attempting to destabilize the United States by , for some reason, invading America through Miami. But he shows up, kicks ass, and the film has, oddly, had an outsized impact in the world.
“Invasion USA became an underground sensation in Romania, with bootleg videos of the film passed around and helping to fuel the 1989 uprising” against Nicolae Ceauşescu, de Semlyen notes in his book. According to James Bruner, who worked on the film with Norris and director Joseph Zito, “They use the poster, to this day, in Romania when they protest against the government. . . . Ultimately, action movies are about freedom. Overcoming evil, in whatever form it may be.”
Chuck Norris Can Tie His Shoes With His Feet.
In the Beginning There Was Nothing… Then Chuck Norris Roundhouse Kicked Nothing and Told It to Get a Job.
There Has Never Been a Hurricane Named Chuck Because It Would Have Destroyed Everything.
Champions Are the Breakfast of Chuck Norris.
The Quickest Way to a Man’s Heart Is With Chuck Norris’s Fist.
Chuck Norris Can Build a Snowman Out of Rain.
Chuck Norris Has Never Blinked in His Entire Life. Never.
There Is No Chin Behind Chuck Norris’ Beard. There Is Only Another Fist.
If You Want a List of Chuck Norris’ Enemies, Just Check the Extinct Species List.
The Dinosaurs Looked at Chuck Norris the Wrong Way Once. You Know What Happened to Them.
Chuck Norris Does Not Own a Stove, Oven or Microwave, Because Revenge Is a Dish Best Served Cold.
Chuck Norris Can Slam Revolving Doors.
Time Waits for No Man. Unless That Man Is Chuck Norris.
If You Spell Chuck Norris in Scrabble, You Win. Forever.
Chuck Norris Stands Faster Than Anyone Can Run.
When Chuck Norris Enters a Room, He Doesn’t Turn the Lights On, He Turns the Dark Off.
Chuck Norris Makes Onions Cry.
Chuck Norris Can Divide by Zero.
Chuck Norris Does Not Sleep. He Waits.
When Chuck Norris Does a Pushup, He’s Pushing the Earth Down.
Chuck Norris went to a feminist rally and came away with a perfectly ironed shirt and a sandwich.
I loved Invasion USA. 😆
When I saw that this was in the Bulwark, I kept waiting for the big “but” that lead into trashing Norris in some way. I was pleasantly surprised to see that it didn’t come. The obituary is a good take on Norris. His career went in a unique direction. He started off in a prestigious niche in karate movies as the title holder who showed off his skills. Then, as the article described, his movies were hit or miss from the late 70s through the early 90s. Some were really good but some were B-rate. But by the 90s, he had Walker Texas Ranger and was taking better more established movies. At that point, he was established.
Chuck Norris turns lemons into orange juice.
Chuck Norris teaches parrots how to write.
Aliens don’t visit the Earth unless Chuck Norris invites them over.
Chuck Norris doesn’t cry. Conan cries for him.
Chuck Norris can catch The Road Runner.
My favorite...
Chuck Norris went to a feminist rally and came back with his laundry folded, ironed and a sandwich
My contribution to the memedom:
In the cosmic battle between good and evil, Heaven and Hell, Michael the archangel and the Devil, Heaven called Chuck Norris home because reinforcements were needed.
I guess the Democrats can now count on his vote in November.
The Grim Reaper immediately went into hiding.
Chuck actually died four years ago — the Grim Reaper has just been working up his nerve.
Chuck Norris and Marshall Teague traveled together to Iraq to visit troops and boost morale during Gulf War II. Traveling ‘in country’ was one of the most difficult and dangerous things you could do there, so there weren’t many who’d take the risk and endure the discomfort.
Chuck’s brother Wieland was KIA in vietnam so he might have a soft spot for the servicemen on that account.
Robin Williams also did a USO tour in Iraq with QB John Elway and hottie Leeann Tweeden. It boosted my respect for Williams that he would put aside politics and support the men and women in uniform anyway.
Williams is bewildered when the audience snaps to attention and ‘about faces’ as as Retreat sounds during his act in Kuwait:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QD9QAAEfQEA
There were a few others; Gary Sinise, Toby Keith, Charlie Daniels, Kurt Angle, Kid Rock, at al. Some you’d expect but others, like Williams, not so much.
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Chuck Norris TP
Won’t take cr*p off anyone.
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