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Bill Clinton Tells Epstein Committee It Depends On What The Definition Of ‘Child Trafficking’ Is
Babylon Bee ^ | 02/27/2026 | Babylon Bee

Posted on 02/27/2026 11:03:27 AM PST by DFG

WASHINGTON, D.C. — Former president and saxophone player Bill Clinton testified to members of Congress today that his answer to their questions depended on what the definition of "child trafficking" is.

"What is…'is?' And furthermore, what really IS 'child trafficking?'" Clinton reportedly told members of the committee. "I would like to ask you all, what does this term mean, and how can I get out of any culpability related to these accusations, rhetorically speaking?"

Clinton was grilled on his associations with the infamous deceased billionaire Jeffrey Epstein and what his relationship with the women who worked for Epstein entailed. During the questioning, Clinton repeatedly stated that his actions depend on what the working definitions of terms actually are.

"What is ‘sexual predator?' What is ‘a depraved pervert?' What is ‘massive scumbag?'" Clinton asked. "I'm afraid it depends on your definitions of these words. I cannot give an answer if we don't agree on any solid definitions. Also, is it lunch time? Who else could go for a Big Mac?"

Democrats called the accusations against Clinton ridiculous and asked how a man with his character and spotless track record of upstanding behavior could be dragged into something so unseemly. Clinton responded by saying that it would depend on what any given person's definition of "unseemly" was.

At publishing time, President Clinton was last seen trying to hit on Nancy Mace.


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: babylonbee; clinton; epstein; humantrafficking; presidentdepends; satire
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1 posted on 02/27/2026 11:03:28 AM PST by DFG
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To: DFG

Correction:

Clinton asked who else wanted to get a Der wienerschnitzel hot dog hot lunch.


2 posted on 02/27/2026 11:10:49 AM PST by faithhopecharity ("Politicians aren't born, they're excreted." Marcus Tullius Cicero (106 to 43 BCE))
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To: DFG

“That depends on what the meaning of “jizz” is.”

L


3 posted on 02/27/2026 11:11:49 AM PST by Lurker ( Peaceful coexistence with the Left is not possible. Stop pretending that it is.)
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To: DFG

The Bee does it again.


4 posted on 02/27/2026 11:14:19 AM PST by gibsonguy
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To: DFG

Oh come on! Too obvious!


5 posted on 02/27/2026 11:26:37 AM PST by Attention Surplus Disorder
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To: DFG

Got me. 😂


6 posted on 02/27/2026 11:36:42 AM PST by cowboyusa (The XO)
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To: DFG

Really, he, like always, claimed ignorance.
He is probably the Rhodes scholar with worst memory of them all!


7 posted on 02/27/2026 11:36:46 AM PST by AZJeep (sane )
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To: DFG

It depends on what was was.


8 posted on 02/27/2026 11:41:59 AM PST by Daveinyork ( )
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To: Daveinyork

It depends on what was was.


What is, is. What was, will be. What will be, was, but will be again.


9 posted on 02/27/2026 11:45:17 AM PST by dfwgator ("I am Charlie Kirk!")
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To: AdmSmith; AnonymousConservative; Arthur Wildfire! March; Berosus; Bockscar; BraveMan; cardinal4; ...

10 posted on 02/27/2026 11:54:20 AM PST by SunkenCiv (TDS -- it's not just for DNC shills anymore -- oh, wait, yeah it is.)
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