Posted on 12/23/2025 1:50:21 PM PST by DFG
President Trump announced an exciting new Trump-class battleship that will be the largest, fastest, and most powerful battleship fleet in the world.
The Babylon Bee has obtained an exclusive schematic of this formidable new war machine:
Additional features not pictured will include:
19" solid gold cannons: Way better than the Yamato's puny 18.1" cannons.
Escalator the Captain can use for big announcements: Order men to their battle stations in style.
Loudspeakers play YMCA to start every morning: The Village People promote a warrior spirit.
State-of-the-art detention center where prisoners are held in place by magnets: All the best detention centers use magnets.
Galley where McRib is served all year round: Proper nourishment is important for our warfighters.
When it's a full moon, the crew turns into skeletons: Sweet!
Novelty gift shop where you can buy Art of the Deal and other Trump merchandise: The crew is sure to love this feature.
Special spot on the prow where Trump can yell, "I'm king of the world!": To own the libs.
Absolutely remarkable. The Trump-class will make our Navy the envy of the world.
I bet it also Flies ,LOL
Nah, too gay.
I like the galley slaves idea!
Where’s the Diet Coke call button?
Pretty amusing!
Anyone else suspect that Trump may be “trolling”?
Putting this out there to see people’s reactions.
Maybe more seriously the reactions of China or Russia?
I hope!
Uh oh, Greta Thunberg’s not gonna like that. How DARE you!
Love the pure gold Trumpmaid hood ornament. Or whatever that part of the ship is called.
Fueled by Jimmy Kimmel’s tears?
it sails in a sea of kimmel’s tears
Heh, heh. Powered by the farts of the Hostettes of The View.
LOL- Gas powered!
Wimpy little guns. Probably just those five-inch ones.
It needs those big 16-inch guns loke the Iowa ships, at least.
Nothing would be wrong with 32-inch guns, like that 88 magnum handgun that some guy had in a movie.
When I first heard the announcement by POTUS on the radio, I first thought of The Bee, then AI.
Love the pure gold Trumpmaid hood ornament. Or whatever that part of the ship is called.
Oh, we sailed on the good ship Venus. By god you should have seen us.
The figurehead was a whore in bed and the mast was the captains penus ...
For all the policies he gets right, it's stuff like this that is just exhausting.
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