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Navy Airdrops Public Defender Onto Drug Boat To Give Cartel Members Due Process
Babylon Bee ^ | 09/08/2025 | Babylon Bee

Posted on 09/08/2025 11:48:55 AM PDT by DFG

GULF OF MEXICO — In a compromise intended to silence critics of the Trump Administration's aggressive stance against drug traffickers, the U.S. Navy airdropped a public defender onto a drug boat to give cartel members due process.

After a previous strike on a boat of Venezuelan drug runners ignited a furious debate over the legality of such an action without a fair trial, orders were given for the Navy to go the extra mile and allow a defense attorney to parachute onto a suspected cartel vessel to provide legal representation.

"We've heard the outrage and we're taking steps to do what's right," said Admiral Joseph Sternberger in a statement from the Navy. "To alleviate all of these arguments about foreign narcoterrorists being executed without ‘due process,' we've adopted a policy of airdropping a public defender onto their drug trafficking boats to make sure we comply with whatever rights they are supposed to have. Or something like that. Whatever."

One public defender who was pressed into service expressed mixed emotions about the job. "I understand the need for people to have their voices heard from a legal standpoint," said attorney Richard Lantz. "But, I don't know… what are the chances of a drone strike happening while I'm on the boat? That's not likely, right?"

At publishing time, sources tied to the drug cartel said that the drug runners hoped that the legal representation would at least buy them enough time to make it to their destination so they could unload their cargo.


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: babylonbee; satire

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1 posted on 09/08/2025 11:48:55 AM PDT by DFG
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To: DFG

That should read “Gulf of America”….


2 posted on 09/08/2025 11:49:47 AM PDT by military cop (I carry a .45....cause they don't make a .46....)
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To: DFG

3 posted on 09/08/2025 11:52:05 AM PDT by z3n (Kakistocracy)
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To: DFG

How is it possible that prosecutors didn’t get dropped. Usually failed attorneys that can make up crimes as needed. Keep the prison labor going for state and corporate profits. Have a good lawyer, sad that that needs to be said in “The Land of the Free”. Guess it was a long time ago.


4 posted on 09/08/2025 12:07:16 PM PDT by foundedonpurpose (Praise Hashem, for his restoration of all things! Tyllllllllll)
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To: DFG

The Cartels are likely going to increase their security. Hezbollah may have some extra beepers, walkie talkies and cell phones. Might be made in Israel.


5 posted on 09/08/2025 12:22:48 PM PDT by EandH Dad (sleeping giants wake up REALLY grumpy)
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To: DFG

Another piece from the bee that is, *if they could, they would*.


6 posted on 09/08/2025 12:38:49 PM PDT by metmom (He who testifies to these things says, “Surely I am coming soon." Amen. Come, Lord Jesus….)
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To: EandH Dad

IMO—_THE VIDEO I SAW SHOWED 4 LARGE EVINRUDE ENGINES POWERING THAT BOAT IN THE HIGH SEAS. MAYBE EVEN 5.


7 posted on 09/08/2025 12:47:24 PM PDT by ridesthemiles (not giving up on TRUMP---EVER)
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To: military cop

Navy Airdrops Public Defender Onto Drug Boat To Give Cartel Members Due Process … and then blows them all up.


8 posted on 09/08/2025 12:55:39 PM PDT by grumpygresh
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To: ridesthemiles
THE VIDEO I SAW SHOWED 4 LARGE EVINRUDE ENGINES POWERING THAT BOAT IN THE HIGH SEAS. MAYBE EVEN 5.

You saw correctly. You should see the idiotic comments on a Youtube video of the incident. One dude said that due to the hull shape of that boat, all the engines in the world wouldn't propel it any faster than 14kn to 17 kn........LOL!

Another idiot said that with 11 passengers, the boat would have sunk.....

9 posted on 09/08/2025 1:02:32 PM PDT by Hot Tabasco
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To: DFG

It’s very likely that the “public defender” is a RAT.


10 posted on 09/08/2025 1:06:05 PM PDT by ROCKLOBSTER (Show me a RAT, I'll show you a felon.)
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To: Hot Tabasco

The constitution only applies to American citizens not every foreigner who sneaks into the country. A trial costs 100G if every one of the millions of illegal aliens here got a trail before deportation it would make enforcement of immigration laws completely impossible


11 posted on 09/08/2025 1:11:49 PM PDT by cctrout (Charles )
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To: DFG

Great post !!!!


12 posted on 09/08/2025 1:13:15 PM PDT by gitmo (If your theology doesn’t become your biography, what good is it?)
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To: DFG

Really a damned good start.


13 posted on 09/08/2025 1:21:25 PM PDT by HANG THE EXPENSE (Life's tough.It's tougher when you're stupid.)
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To: grumpygresh

I nominate Hitlery Clinton as first public defender to be dropped onto a boat.


14 posted on 09/08/2025 1:22:55 PM PDT by Mouton (There is a new sheriff and deputy in town now!)
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To: DFG

Due process was served.no liar needed.


15 posted on 09/08/2025 1:23:29 PM PDT by HANG THE EXPENSE (Life's tough.It's tougher when you're stupid.)
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To: cctrout

Huh? You sure you’re on the right thread?


16 posted on 09/08/2025 1:37:11 PM PDT by Hot Tabasco
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To: military cop

I emailed them and they have changed it to GULF OF AMERICA on their site.


17 posted on 09/08/2025 1:49:17 PM PDT by PhiloBedo (You gotta roll with the punches, and get with what's real.)
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To: DFG

“You have the right to a Coroner ...” /Running Scared (great flick!)


18 posted on 09/08/2025 4:50:24 PM PDT by NonValueAdded (First, I was a clinger, then deplorable, now I'm garbage. Feel the love? )
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