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Posted on 08/21/2025 8:36:31 PM PDT by Cronos
The fifties are when retirement gets determined. Not financially—most boomers figured that out—but existentially. It's when patterns solidify, relationships either deepen or atrophy, identity either expands or calcifies around a job title.
1. They let their entire identity collapse into their job title
2. They believed retirement was a reward rather than a transition. You can't flip a switch from workaholic to fulfilled retiree.
3. They stopped making new friends Somewhere in their fifties, they closed the friend roster. The social circle became fixed—college buddies, work colleagues, couple friends from the kids' childhood. No new applications accepted.
4. They ignored their health until it was crisis management The fifties send bodily invoices for decades of neglect. But instead of paying attention, many worked harder, ignoring the check engine light. The cruel irony: the fifties are the last decade when you can build reserves rather than just slow depletion.
5. They avoided difficult conversations with their spouse Parallel lives seemed sustainable in their fifties. She had book club; he had golf. They'd "reconnect in retirement."The gray divorce rate has doubled since 1990, largely driven by couples discovering their marriage was held together by busy schedules, not connection.
6. They dismissed therapy as weakness
7. They abandoned learning "I'm too old for new things," became their fifties refrain, usually about technology but eventually everything. They stopped reading challenging books. They stopped being curious.
8. They never developed interests that weren't productive Every hobby had purpose. Golf for networking. Reading for professional development. Nothing for joy.
9. They ignored their changing relationship with their children
10. They thought money would solve everything
(Excerpt) Read more at vegoutmag.com ...
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Most of my first batch of friends are dead, have new ones now.
Learning the digital part of ham radio now, it's fascinating. It allows you to get a transmission through that one would never hear by ear, even with Morse code.
I volunteer at events such as the Susquehannock Trail Performance Rally, etc.
Am working on my Unimogs and Grumman Mmotorhome, Excursion, etc, rebuilding Victorian era money pit, etc.
If a person has a strong religious faith, based on fellowship with the Holy Spirit and grounded in contentment and a work ethic, I don’t think any of those bullets matter - JMHO
I don’t resonate with any of those items. Guy just made up a bunch of stuff to get an article published.
“6. They dismissed therapy as weakness”
LOL.
I retired at 59. I went through these to see if they applied to me. Only one did. I don’t see the value of therapy, but then I pray and listen to God every day, so that might count.
I actually started planning retirement at 38, when I began building my IRA. My wife is my number 1 relationship and my children #2. I’ve built friendships every year with different people.
I went into retirement diving into my second career, as an author and that’s been a hoot for ten years. I look forward to the future.
I'm the last one left in my family, but I keep in touch and visit my brother's family regularly. He's the only other sibling that married and had a family. The one best friend I had for the past 40+ years passed in June. I will miss visiting and talking to her, but I will talk to her daughter to make sure the rest of the family is doing well. I have one other friend that I worked with. I meet her and her husband for lunch about once a month. I've never had the need to have a lot of friends. I've always enjoyed being alone, and still do. I'm a history buff, so read a lot of sourced books, plus I read book series in other genres. And I've been on FR for 26 years, and have plenty of "FRiends" here.
Folks just entering retirement should consider part-time work. And I don’t mean something high-paying and stressful. I mean work you would enjoy.
Such work helps give structure to your week.
As an example, a friend of mine is a retired executive. He oversaw about 100 unionized people. Not so easy! He now works two days a week in a donut shop, and he loves it.
I could never do that. But only because I’d be sampling too much of the product.
🍩 🍩 🍩
I've been retired since I was 56. I'm 78 now. The one thing I hadn't expected was not having enough time in one day to do all I wanted. I tell youngsters now to remember, that the older you get, the faster time flies.
I retired from the hectic defense industry and am doing the things I’ve wanted to do all my life. My dad restored high end cars. As a kid, I helped him by doing a lot of the grunt work. He taught me how to weld, straighten sheet metal and paint. I’m currently restoring my 67 GTO that I have owned for 35 years and enjoying every minute of it.
I never have either. I learned a lot of about myself through my life experiences and relationships. I learned not to repeat the mistakes of the past.
I used to listen to Dr. Laura Schlesinger's radio show. Most of the people who called her for advice would ask questions like "Should I invite my mother-in-law to Christmas dinner, even if I don't get along with her?" I couldn't believe how helpless some people were. They knew what they wanted to do. They just needed her to make the decision for them. Such weak people. I gave up listening to her because the people were pathetic, and couldn't think for themselves.
We ain't *that* bad. And if we did overlook several important things, it's only because we were busy raising the next generation.
I got retired at 55. It was the best thing to ever happen to me.
If you already have structure in your life while you're working, you shouldn't need a part-time job after you retire. I had to be at a certain place at a certain time every day for 25 years. Why would I want to freaking continue to do that after I retired? I've been retired for 22 years, and would seek therapy if I thought I needed to do that.
Other than having my kids, and divorcing my husband 46 years, retiring at 56 was the third best thing that happened to me. I had a lot of co-workers who were younger than me that never lived long enough to retire.
> Why would I want to freaking continue to do that after I retired? <
The trick is to go somewhere you would want to go. The guy I mentioned earlier loves working in that donut shop. He likes the people he works with, and he loves chatting with the customers.
This structure strategy is not for everyone. It’s just something to consider, as I noted in that earlier post.
Therapy is largely bogus. Wife wants a fight friend. If they actually get the rare objective therapist, the wife quits going because the therapist challenges her, and thats not the therapists affirmation she wanted.
Boomers who are miserable embraced the anger and promises of the democrat party.
I did...I went home and began living a new life.
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