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Bondi Explains She Was Going To Release The Epstein Files But Then Some Pedophiles Asked Her Not To
Babylon Bee ^

Posted on 07/09/2025 6:57:55 AM PDT by MNDude

WASHINGTON, D.C. — Attorney General Pam Bondi explained today that she was really going to release all of the Epstein files, but some pedophiles asked her to please not.

Bondi stated that she understood the disappointment over her not releasing the client list, which has been "on her desk" since February, but she promised the pedophiles that she wouldn't.

"Sorry guys, I told the pedophiles I would keep it under wraps," said Bondi to reporters. "Look, I'm just as bummed as you are. I had all these great little binders made up, with all the incriminating evidence I promised to release, then, ugh -- these pedophiles came along and asked me not to. Which is super sad, because now all these criminals will never be brought to justice. Too bad!"

Reporters questioned why Bondi decided to honor the request of the pedophiles when she had promised the nation to release the files in her possession. "You should have seen the look in the pedophiles' faces, okay?" replied Bondi. "They just looked so worried. Don't judge my decision until you've walked a mile in a pedophile's shoes like I have."

(Excerpt) Read more at breitbart.com ...


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: babylonbee; blondi; epstein; epsteinbutthurt; epsteinobsessed; epsteinobsession; epsteinwhining; satire; truthinhumor
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1 posted on 07/09/2025 6:57:55 AM PDT by MNDude
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To: MNDude

Just in!

Bondi has anounced no reason to release JFK/RFK/ MILK files..

Confirms they were all suicides, nothing to see here.

JFK conspiacy theorists can now close the books. It ‘s official, JFK killed himself.


2 posted on 07/09/2025 7:00:10 AM PDT by uranium penguin
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To: MNDude

Bee stings Blondi. LOL!


3 posted on 07/09/2025 7:03:32 AM PDT by PGalt (Past Peak Civilization?)
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To: MNDude

In other news Bondi has announced that she is a Flat Earther.

“I have examined all the files. All those scientists were wrong. Case closed.”


4 posted on 07/09/2025 7:03:32 AM PDT by cgbg (It was not us. It was them--all along.)
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To: MNDude

Oddly enough... Every now and then... Even the Bee prints truthful stuff.


5 posted on 07/09/2025 7:04:29 AM PDT by jerod (Nazis were essentially Socialist in Hugo Boss uniforms... Get over it!)
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To: MNDude

Someone at a very very high level put a stop to the list being released.

Epstein apparently kept meticulous records, despite whatever Bondi may say.

Same will happen when the MLK files are up for release - my guess is that they will have been “accidentally thrown out.”


6 posted on 07/09/2025 7:12:49 AM PDT by Bon of Babble (You Say You Want a Revolutioan?)
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To: MNDude

Bee breaking into real news again.


7 posted on 07/09/2025 7:13:20 AM PDT by mykroar ("It's Not the Nature of the Evidence; It's the Seriousness of the Charge." - El Rushbo)
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To: MNDude

You might want to provide the correct link.


8 posted on 07/09/2025 7:14:35 AM PDT by higgmeister (In the Shadow of The Big Chicken! )
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To: Bon of Babble

Good comment on the MLK files.

The King family is convinced the FBI did it.

I agree with their view.


9 posted on 07/09/2025 7:15:35 AM PDT by cgbg (It was not us. It was them--all along.)
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To: MNDude

Beats Sovereign Citizen:

“I have lifelong immunity from prosecution.
I’m on the Epstein client list.”


10 posted on 07/09/2025 7:17:00 AM PDT by NoLibZone (Trump failures: leaving Antifa off Terror list,Market chaos, Bondi. )
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To: NoLibZone

I think the pedophile talking point is:

“There is no Epstein client list—but if there was one I am not on it.”


11 posted on 07/09/2025 7:18:19 AM PDT by cgbg (It was not us. It was them--all along.)
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To: MNDude

When you appoint someone endorsed by Jeb Bush.


12 posted on 07/09/2025 7:18:55 AM PDT by ArcadeQuarters (You can't remove RINOs by voting for them!)
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To: MNDude

LOL!


13 posted on 07/09/2025 7:22:57 AM PDT by FlingWingFlyer (Correction! America is a nation of LEGAL IMMIGRANTS! All of mine came here legally. No free stuff.)
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To: Bon of Babble
Someone at a very very high level put a stop to the list being released.

Who is on such a high level that he order Bondi to stop?

14 posted on 07/09/2025 7:26:46 AM PDT by Angelino97
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To: MNDude

Tried to go to Breitbart. com & got zip on the Epstein situation...???????


15 posted on 07/09/2025 7:34:51 AM PDT by oldtech
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To: Angelino97

Looks pretty suspicious to go from “The List is ON My Desk Right Now” to “The List Doesn’t Exist.”

Someone intervened that has the power to stop the list from being released by the Attorney General of the United States.


16 posted on 07/09/2025 7:40:29 AM PDT by Bon of Babble (You Say You Want a Revolutioan?)
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To: MNDude
Bondi is the weakest link in President Trump's "A-Team".

The "B" in Bondi stands for "B-Team".

17 posted on 07/09/2025 7:40:37 AM PDT by Governor Dinwiddie ( O give thanks unto the Lord, for He is gracious, and his mercy endures forever. — Psalm 106)
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To: Governor Dinwiddie

Mee: Well ladies and gentlemen, I don’t think any of our contestants this evening have succeeded in encapsulating the intricacies of Proust’s masterwork, so I’m going to award the first prize this evening to the girl with the biggest ****.


18 posted on 07/09/2025 7:55:23 AM PDT by jjotto ("...saith the LORD: yet I loved Jacob, And I hated Esau...")
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To: MNDude
Starting to think there is more than one list.

Just stands to reason if you have a "client" list --- the list of people you supply favors for --- then you need a "vendors' list --- the people you hire to do those favors for your 'clients".

Pam's on the "v" list.

19 posted on 07/09/2025 8:06:26 AM PDT by ZOOKER
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To: Governor Dinwiddie
Bondi is the weakest link in President Trump's "A-Team".

This decision is way past bondi's pay grade.

This is Trump. Period.

Why? Which high level spooks have caught other high level officials banging minors.

This is no other reason that this release has been squashed.

This has gone on for decades so the names will be legend.

20 posted on 07/09/2025 8:09:20 AM PDT by USS Alaska (NUKE THE MOOSELIMB TERRORIST SAVAGES)
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